To not want everyone round on xmas night

[Mumlife23x]

Bit of background.. DH mum passed away 2 weeks ago. (We didn't really speak to her that much or see her but when she was ill we did our best to help visited her etc they weren't close i hadnt seen her in well over a year) so now DH's stepdad & brother on their own at home this Christmas. Not close to stepdad at all brother is a hermit just plays video games all day/ night doesn't leave house ever (he's 23). DH has a sister and another brother but he is insisting I invite his step dad, younger brother, sister her kids and his other brother and their kids to my house xmas night. (Sister & younger brother are his step dad's bio kids) First of all I have my own 2 kids and I like xmas night to just unwind I have to cook for 10 people xmas day and clean up after I don't want to re entertain again later on. Bearing in mind apart from the fact his mum was ill I haven't seen his sister or step dad in well over a year his younger brother about 12 years as he never leaves his bedroom. He is insisting that it Isn't right to leave them home alone and I should invite everyone round. Why?? We wouldn't have done it if his mum was still alive. It's so awkward with his stepdad because he doesn't say much and his sister isn't very fond of me nor me her for unrelated history. He won't stop and even text everyone inviting them even though I said no. Surely it's up to his sister to accommodate her dad??

I don’t agree with most people. I don’t think anything is worth your own mental health. It sounds like you have a lot of responsibility already so have the evening for yourself and send partner to spend time with his family. That is fine, you can be unwinding at home as maybe you don’t feel good.

It doesn't matter that you wouldn't have invited everyone to your place on Christmas evening if your DH's mother had lived. She didn't. It's Christmas and, regardless of how little they all spoke or interacted with each other, maybe he wants the support of wider family, maybe he feels it's the right thing to do, maybe he just wants them all together at what will be a difficult time. It is one evening and I think I would suck it up to support my partner.

Tell him he can crack on with entertaining them, including tidying the house and sorting all food.

It’s important to your DH. He’s lost his mum.
Ask him to buy booze / snacks on Saturday.

The sister is actually the stepdad's biological daughter, whereas her husband isn't. So that's one reason, maybe.

Either way I think the OP's husband isn't being unreasonable to want to invite them round but he is being unreasonable if he won't help the OP prepare, cook and clean up after Christmas Dinner, and do whatever keeps to be done to host his stepdad and brother afterwards.

Why are they not part of the 10 for Xmas day lunch?

Seems a small thing to ask.

DH has a sister and another brother but he is insisting I invite his step dad, younger brother, sister her kids and his other brother and their kids to my house xmas night

I don’t understand do you not live together? I assume not as you say you need to invite and it’s to your house?not our house or we invite?

Agree, it’s incredibly odd. She makes it sound like she has to invite, it’s her house, her kids. So I’m assuming he lives elsewhere and the kids aren’t his.