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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking for half of parking ticket

129 replies

ellie09 · 19/12/2023 11:31

So, messy night out.

Ended up going home accidentally with someone else's coat. Everyone was drunk may I add.

Their wallet, keys etc were in the coat and said person had parked their car in the town that night then was planning to get the car in the morning.

I got coat to them by 12.

Message today to say they got a parking ticket. Asked me to pay half the ticket.

I have paid half as didnt want to get in an argument.

AIBU to think its a little bit cheeky considering it wasnt my decision for them to park their car there or is the other person reasonable for asking?

OP posts:
Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 12:34

NuffSaidSam · 19/12/2023 12:32

Yeah, see I think this is the issue.

He had to deal with thinking he'd been robbed between midnight and the next morning. He's probably more focussed on cancelling his bank cards, reporting the theft, calling the venue, worrying that his car has been stolen etc. etc.

He probably wasn't in the frame of mind to think 'I'll pop on to Ringo and sort some parking out'. I don't think many people would tbh.

It would be different if you'd realised and told him straight away.

Show quote history

The group I was with realised as soon as I was on my way home as they had messaged me but at this point I wasnt looking at the phone and went to bed.

So they knew I had his coat, not that it had been stolen.

OP posts:
YouveGotAFastCar · 19/12/2023 12:35

fingerguns · 19/12/2023 12:33

You should ask him if he paid via an app for the day of the party. If he says yes, he'll have the location code. Then you should ask for your money back as that's 100% on him 😂

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A lot of car parks around here won't let you book consecutive bookings - you have to leave for two hours before you can repark. Some aren't open all night, either, but presumably, he booked one that was.

Might not be a concern, of course, but this might not have been an option. I'd presume that if it was, he'd have done it - Ringo etc would have notified him that his session was ending and given him a one-click way to extend it, and he wouldn't have been drunk in the morning. Hungover, maybe.

NuffSaidSam · 19/12/2023 12:36

ellie09 · 19/12/2023 12:34

The group I was with realised as soon as I was on my way home as they had messaged me but at this point I wasnt looking at the phone and went to bed.

So they knew I had his coat, not that it had been stolen.

Show quote history

Ahh ok, different again then!

Really need to be clear with this key information OP 😂

ohdamnitjanet · 19/12/2023 12:36

ellie09 · 19/12/2023 12:25

I felt bad about it! Just wondered what others would do!

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Agree, well done @ellie09 ! I think you’ve been more than decent.

Mostlyoblivious · 19/12/2023 12:42

Devils advocate: Yes it is a huge hassle however they clearly had a mechanism to get to their car in time so they could have easily paid to extend the parking (often in app without having to go to the vehicle) or they could have swung round your way on route to get car to avoid a ticket if they were in a place that’s only unrestricted at night (unless you were not contactable?)- they shouldn’t have to do that but it’s a simple genuine mistake here.

DottieMoon · 19/12/2023 12:43

It's good you did the right thing and paid the full amount in the end.....mainly to avoid any hostility.

You are outrageously out of order to be annoyed and try to place some blame on the other person. You are 100% at fault.

Pieceofvanilla · 19/12/2023 12:44

YouveGotAFastCar · 19/12/2023 12:35

A lot of car parks around here won't let you book consecutive bookings - you have to leave for two hours before you can repark. Some aren't open all night, either, but presumably, he booked one that was.

Might not be a concern, of course, but this might not have been an option. I'd presume that if it was, he'd have done it - Ringo etc would have notified him that his session was ending and given him a one-click way to extend it, and he wouldn't have been drunk in the morning. Hungover, maybe.

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Do you believe that after drinking until 4am, that a person the next day may be “hungover”, but wouldn’t be drunk????

Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 12:47

NuffSaidSam · 19/12/2023 12:36

Ahh ok, different again then!

Really need to be clear with this key information OP 😂

Show quote history

Sorry 🫣

Yes they realised as soon as I had left. Boyfriend noticed my phone ringing but at this point just wanted to get me home to bed!

OP posts:
Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 12:48

DottieMoon · 19/12/2023 12:43

It's good you did the right thing and paid the full amount in the end.....mainly to avoid any hostility.

You are outrageously out of order to be annoyed and try to place some blame on the other person. You are 100% at fault.

I have retracted and said on reflection, its 100% my fault 😂

OP posts:
whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 19/12/2023 12:52

I wouldn't have paid this. He shouldn't have left his car somewhere it would get booked.
It wasn't your fault

Deathbyfluffy · 19/12/2023 12:54

PhulNana · 19/12/2023 11:36

If 'everyone' was drunk, you saved them from potentially being breathalysed and banned, or at least prevented some drunk driving. Would you pay that fine because you didn't take their coat? Tell them to take a running jump.

Want a sugar cube for that high horse of yours?
Read the post again - they were going to collect the car the next morning.

PickledPurplePickle · 19/12/2023 12:54

Well done OP - I think you handled this very well

horseyhorsey17 · 19/12/2023 12:54

ellie09 · 19/12/2023 12:06

Update

Thanks everyone, on further reflection I can see the hassle it can cause someone and if it was me I would have been pretty pissed off.

I sent the FULL amount (sent the other half after sending the first half) and let them know I have sent them the full amount to pay as it was my fault 100% that the mistake was made and I didnt want them to be out of pocket based on my error.

It was a bit annoying to me that there wasnt really a need for the car to be there anyhow (boss offered to pay everyone's taxis) and that I had spent money on a couple rounds drinks that night that weren't reciprocated but lessons learned about not getting so drunk you take the wrong coat in the future!

I also dont want any hostile or damaged work relationships so its a small price to pay.

Good for you!

Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 12:54

whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 19/12/2023 12:52

I wouldn't have paid this. He shouldn't have left his car somewhere it would get booked.
It wasn't your fault

Though from another perspective, even in that case, at least if I didnt have the coat, no blame could have been placed on me as the control fully lies with the other person.

I dont think either that the car should have been taken that night but that wasnt my decision to make. However, I did take away the control of being able to go down and get the car the following morning (or that night depending on his intentions which I wouldnt know).

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 19/12/2023 12:55

whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 19/12/2023 12:52

I wouldn't have paid this. He shouldn't have left his car somewhere it would get booked.
It wasn't your fault

They were probably planning to get it in the morning, not after midday when the OP returned their jacket.
If they've only paid for 12 hours but can't move the car in that time because someone else has their keys, how it is their fault?

Sugarsun · 19/12/2023 12:56

You were at fault and did the right thing by admitting it and paying the fine.

Its not always easy to accept the blame 100% when you didn’t intentionally do anything wrong.

I often drive to places and then get a taxi back.

I then move the car or have someone else do it in the morning when the car park starts charging.

I also don’t have 2 sets of keys and don’t actually know anyone who does (although this thread has made me realise that having a spare would be very handy).

Did they get home ok?
My house keys are connected to my car keys so I’d be screwed.

Daphnis156 · 19/12/2023 12:56

Of course you should pay half the fine.
And while you're doing that, pay half their council tax for the year.

FreshWinterMorning · 19/12/2023 12:57

Of course YABU! I would have offered to pay the whole ticket - not half. I would not need to have been asked!

Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 13:00

Sugarsun · 19/12/2023 12:56

You were at fault and did the right thing by admitting it and paying the fine.

Its not always easy to accept the blame 100% when you didn’t intentionally do anything wrong.

I often drive to places and then get a taxi back.

I then move the car or have someone else do it in the morning when the car park starts charging.

I also don’t have 2 sets of keys and don’t actually know anyone who does (although this thread has made me realise that having a spare would be very handy).

Did they get home ok?
My house keys are connected to my car keys so I’d be screwed.

Yes he managed to get home OK and is still very friendly with me, still texting and laughing about that night.

Genuine mistake. Wish I could take a pic of the two coats and you'd see how similar they are! Scary 😂

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 19/12/2023 13:01

NuffSaidSam · 19/12/2023 12:34

There's no evidence to suggest he was going to drive over the limit.

He was dealing with his coat being stolen, he probably had other things on his mind (cancelling bank cards etc.) to worry about the parking issue.

Show quote history

'To clarify, everybody was drunk. He even said he was very drunk and the night got very messy even after I had left.' - but maybe someone else was getting the car for him. I hope so, otherwise his parking hassles would have been the same.

Not sure what time OP told him about the coat but in similar situations "oh crap what do I do about the car" has been front of mind.

Cards are pretty easily paused these days while you wait to see if they show up. Obviously slightly less straightforward when you've been drinking until 4am.

Bit of a question here about what time OP let him know about the coat, and what time he got the parking ticket. But im not inclined to say he's totally blameless alongside OP's clear blame.

Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 13:02

FreshWinterMorning · 19/12/2023 12:57

Of course YABU! I would have offered to pay the whole ticket - not half. I would not need to have been asked!

I received a whole message from the person and he specifically asked for half.

Without thinking I sent him half. Then wondered was AIBU for not sending the full amount anyhow or willfully sending what he asked etc.

Within 5 minutes I had settled the full amount because the guilt was eating away at me.

OP posts:
Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 13:04

JassyRadlett · 19/12/2023 13:01

'To clarify, everybody was drunk. He even said he was very drunk and the night got very messy even after I had left.' - but maybe someone else was getting the car for him. I hope so, otherwise his parking hassles would have been the same.

Not sure what time OP told him about the coat but in similar situations "oh crap what do I do about the car" has been front of mind.

Cards are pretty easily paused these days while you wait to see if they show up. Obviously slightly less straightforward when you've been drinking until 4am.

Bit of a question here about what time OP let him know about the coat, and what time he got the parking ticket. But im not inclined to say he's totally blameless alongside OP's clear blame.

Show quote history

I woke up 7am next day and received message from other person at 9:30am asking could I check for their coat as think I have it.

I checked and confirmed was his coat by 9:45am.

Car park starts charging at 9am and he was ticketed at 10am.

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 19/12/2023 13:04

JassyRadlett · 19/12/2023 13:01

'To clarify, everybody was drunk. He even said he was very drunk and the night got very messy even after I had left.' - but maybe someone else was getting the car for him. I hope so, otherwise his parking hassles would have been the same.

Not sure what time OP told him about the coat but in similar situations "oh crap what do I do about the car" has been front of mind.

Cards are pretty easily paused these days while you wait to see if they show up. Obviously slightly less straightforward when you've been drinking until 4am.

Bit of a question here about what time OP let him know about the coat, and what time he got the parking ticket. But im not inclined to say he's totally blameless alongside OP's clear blame.

Show quote history

Ah here we go, OP's clarified they knew it wasn't stolen from the get go. So the "he was being a panic merchant about being robbed and forgot he had a car" defence isn't there really.

Brandyginger · 19/12/2023 13:04

Good for you paying the full amount - your graciousness will be remembered so it is a worthwhile investment in your work relationships, as well as being the right thing to do.

zero marks to the posters who don’t have basic reading comprehension skills and didn’t read the bit about the chap planning on getting the car in the morning . I do that often: drive somewhere, have a drink, leave the car, and go back at get it before the parking restrictions kick in (usually 9am).

Original poster
ellie09 · 19/12/2023 13:07

JassyRadlett · 19/12/2023 13:04

Ah here we go, OP's clarified they knew it wasn't stolen from the get go. So the "he was being a panic merchant about being robbed and forgot he had a car" defence isn't there really.

Show quote history

Yep I left around 15 minutes before they were heading to another bar where somebody confirmed that I had his coat.

As FYI, I walked out without ANY coat and a guy in our group lifted what he THOUGHT was my coat and gave it to my boyfriend as I was in the passenger seat. The coat stayed in the back seat until we took it back next day as we had just assumed it was mine.

OP posts: