Stressed and anxiety and getting signed off work.

[RoombaRama]

Please be gentle here, my mental health is absolutely in pieces at the moment and I know perhaps Aibu isn't the best place to post but I know posting elsewhere may not get as much traffic.

I'm reaching breaking point at work at the moment. My manager is so cold and if fills me dread talking to her.
Team morale is so low at the moment. Workload is ridiculous. Staff turnover is high.

I have been sat at my desk in tears some days.
The final nail in the coffin is the revocation of all work from home days meaning that as a lone parent its going to make my life incredibly difficult.

Admist all of this, I'm going through an incredibly stressful and bitter family court battle with my abusive ex.

My daughter is also having severe behavioural issues at home and is on a waiting list for adhd assessment. She starts counselling in the new year.

I feel in tatters. I'm crying all the time.

I want to get signed off but I feel shame about it. I've always maintained a good attendance record at work and I've never been signed off work before. I really don't know what to do but just know something has to give.

I have a high pressured job.
I'm currently on sick leave for 3 months for complex PTSD.

When I was first signed off I thought it the worst possible thing that could have happened. I never took time off work. It took 2 or 3 weeks before I could get over being on sick leave. But actually it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I don't think you can understand what it is like to be at mental health crisis point unless you have been there. I was not capable of working, but I couldn't see that at the time. If you aren't capable of working get signed off.

Find another WFH job.

I agree. Ignoring the signs that you are burnt out and on the edge can make you very ill indeed. Take some time out. Ask for a referral to Occupational Health where you might be able to access some counselling. Look for another job as well.

I hope things look better for you soon.

Exactly this!!! I was struggling with anxiety earlier in the year & ended up signed off for 6 weeks. It made a world of difference and the break was like a reset for me. I know it's not that simple for a lot of people, but it's a start. Use that time to relax, do/find a hobby and look for another job!

If you want a new job the sick leave could impact that. I’d focus on applying for a new job and maybe a short break from work sick

Also you could refer yourself to Mental Health Access to Work who can offer support for 6-9 months. They can help with negotiating a mental health action plan with your employer focusing on safeguarding your health and wellbeing.

OP please ignore the posters telling you nothing will change etc and having fits about it all! No idea what’s going on with them but it’s not helpful here!!

the idea of going off with stress is to give yourself head space and time to recoup. It’s the difference between breaking down in tears at work or being able to get through it. It’ll give you time to look for and apply for other jobs and deal with the other things in life. It’s the much needed rest away from work.

I would raise a formal request to work flexibly too especially if you’ve done it now for 3 years. I would say as part of it that otherwise you may have to look for other roles with that option due to the impact on you.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I've been shortlisted for a couple of jobs that I stand a good chance of getting.. should I rethink this and maybe not get signed off and persevere?...

If you're worried could you take holiday?

I have Christmas off from Thursday. I'm just anxious as these two posts will appoint by mid to late January. Being on sick leave isn't going to look good I don't think

Take the time you need and put YOU first. You (and DD) matter most in all this. I always think of the safety announcement they give on planes - inflate your own life jacket before sorting someone else’s. That analogy applies here. It’s Christmas, your employer won’t remember or care about this in a year’s time but you will always remember how you felt x

I think only you can call it. If you feel like you think you might snap you should prioritise your health imo. If you think you can manage until mid - late Jan that's also fine. I would prioritise your health if you need to. There may be other ways you can reduce stress - taking additional holiday in Jan, etc. so you have to get through a short period at work before finding out about the new job

That is good news! Well done OP. Are you off from Thursday to the new year? If so I would at least take that time and see how you are feeling before getting signed off.

Take your Christmas break, and then see how you're feeling.

I personally don't think being signed off sick is a good idea if you're applying for other positions. Information like this is often shared "off the record", no matter how wrongly.

I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed, this dark winter doesn't help - my mood has plummeted in the last few weeks too.

Well done on the interviews.
If you are off from Christmas to into the new year maybe don't go on sick leave yet. Especially if they are in mid Jan.

Take Xmas break and persevere.
Being in sight of a new and better job may give you the boost you need to keep going.

Being off sick is not good if you’re looking for something new.

Good you’re feeling better though !

Just shows … the effect these bullies have on people’s mental health is shocking !

NHS is rife with them and they all stick up for each other which is how they get away with it.