To be worried we’ve made no real progress with potty training?

Shtickman · 2023-12-18T14:08:12+00:00

Probably stressing when there is no need to but started training DS last month at 2 years 10 months. 6 weeks on and no progress at all with poo, not ever done one on the potty. Wee had been more successful but you still have to tell him to go for a wee, if not he wets himself. He doesn’t tell you he needs to go. I feel like I’m doing something wrong but I am not sure what? Any advice?

Daria32 · 18/12/2023 14:09

He’s not ready. Just wait a while and try again

Catza · 18/12/2023 14:10

I don't know of a single adult without special needs who isn't potty trained. I am under the impression that children do eventually grasp it. Don't put any more thought into it. It's really not that big a deal.

Original poster

Shtickman · 18/12/2023 14:13

But he sort of has to be ready 😬😬 as he’s starting preschool in January. And if I wait for him to be ready - how do I know this? Will he tell me? Genuinely asking. He does hold on between wees, sometimes. And he is dry at night too.

OP posts:

TallulahBetty · 18/12/2023 14:15

Too early - try again in a few months. Nurseries are used to helping kids with it.

TallulahBetty · 18/12/2023 14:16

Shtickman · 18/12/2023 14:13

But he sort of has to be ready 😬😬 as he’s starting preschool in January. And if I wait for him to be ready - how do I know this? Will he tell me? Genuinely asking. He does hold on between wees, sometimes. And he is dry at night too.

What do you mean, HAS TO? It's a nursery - they cannot insist he is trained.

SarahAndQuack · 18/12/2023 14:18

I think he's probably a bit early too. He won't tell you. How have you gone about it so far? I'm sure my approach was terrible parenting, but I told DD she could have a chocolate button every time she got a wee/poo in the toilet/potty, and she was pretty much done in a matter of days. Admittedly, before that, I did discover her filling up her potty at the sink ...

NuffSaidSam · 18/12/2023 14:18

Does he need to be trained for pre-school?

And is he pooing in his pants? Or a nappy?

What's his reaction when he wees in his pants? Is he bothered?

Lizzieregina · 18/12/2023 14:18

Agree, not ready.

And my kids did actually all tell me, and once they did, it was all systems go, everything into the pot and no constant reminding. My older two were 3.5 and my youngest 2.75.

stayathomer · 18/12/2023 14:19

Another for too young, sorry! Is he dry first thing in the morning? That’s meant to be the biggest sign. All of mine were over 3, definitely ring the play school but they’ll probably tell you it’s fine and they’ve loads still not pt

NuffSaidSam · 18/12/2023 14:19

SarahAndQuack · 18/12/2023 14:18

I think he's probably a bit early too. He won't tell you. How have you gone about it so far? I'm sure my approach was terrible parenting, but I told DD she could have a chocolate button every time she got a wee/poo in the toilet/potty, and she was pretty much done in a matter of days. Admittedly, before that, I did discover her filling up her potty at the sink ...

You've got a Machiavellian genius on your hands there! 😂

stayathomer · 18/12/2023 14:19

Ps Gina ford book is amazing- she’s strict on some things but her take home messages are great!

FranticHare · 18/12/2023 14:21

My DS took weeks to get poo's. He would just do it in his pants.

In the end there was an item of clothing he really wanted. (No idea why, was only a couple of pounds as well!). I set up a sticker chart and suddenly the poos started happening in the potty, and he earnt his clothing.

I made the sticker chart quite long (I wanted to make sure he was properly in the habit of doing poos in the right place) and he had small rewards for every 5 poos, and then the big prize after 20 or 30.

It just needed the right motivation!

FranticHare · 18/12/2023 14:22

PS- wouldn't say they are too young, or that they have to be dry at night to be dry during the day. Some kids aren't dry at night for years, doesn't mean they are in nappies all day too!

SarahAndQuack · 18/12/2023 14:24

NuffSaidSam · 18/12/2023 14:19

You've got a Machiavellian genius on your hands there! 😂

Show quote history

I know. I like to remind her of it, now she's rising 7 and thoroughly embarrassed.

Superscientist · 18/12/2023 14:30

It took my daughter a lot longer to figure out poos. Once she was near perfect with wees we introduced coloured pom poms for poos on the potty. Small reward for 5 bigger reward for 10 within a few weeks she was near perfect with poos too.
She has toddler diarrhoea so it has been harder for her as she doesn't always get a lot notice.

MimiSunshine · 18/12/2023 14:34

He’s not too young, but he may not be ready. However I’d strongly recommend reading Oh Crap Potty Training book.

its got a good process in it and really helped us to follow signals and encourage without pressure.
i didn’t worry about the overnight dryness though as thats hormones and can take a lot longer to crack

2mummies1baby · 18/12/2023 14:43

My very bright niece, who has no SEN and whose mother is a paediatrician, didn't poo in the loo until she turned 4 (she never once did a poo in the potty). My poor sister was tearing her hair out, but they got there in the end. You will too!

Maryamlouise · 18/12/2023 14:47

We used the oh Crap potty training as well with mine at 2yrs 4mths and 21mths (using the power of wanting to be like his big brother) so might not be age just getting used to it. I think having to prompt them is normal - 5 year old is normally totally fine but there is a lot of being absorbed in play and although dancing about desperate to go just needing to add one more brick onto creation. Oh Crap potty training tells you to keep them naked from waist down and a close eye on them to catch all wees and poos on the potty so if you have a few days after Christmas to stay home and do that it could help. And there will be accidents at nursery but am sure they will help you if you explain where you are in the process and how you are approaching it

AttentionToDetal · 18/12/2023 14:48

My youngest DS had only just started doing poos on the potty, he's just turned 4. They'll do it when they're ready, mine was encouraged and wanted to copy the other children at nursery.

Do your pre-school insist they have to be trained as that's quite a lot to ask for so young? We are just getting ds ready for starting reception in Sept.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/12/2023 14:51

We have just cracked it with DD2 and she turned 3 in September. Problem was weeks of inconsistency because different people were looking after her each week (my mum had surgery and she is our usual childcare provider).

We just made sure she didn’t have nappies in the day and regularly sat her on the potty if it had been a while. She eventually started going by herself or telling us she needed. When she was waking up consistently with a dry nappy, we stopped putting one on her overnight.

Bribery worked brilliantly for DD1 but DD2 wasn’t interested that.

Mrsjayy · 18/12/2023 14:51

Shtickman · 18/12/2023 14:13

But he sort of has to be ready 😬😬 as he’s starting preschool in January. And if I wait for him to be ready - how do I know this? Will he tell me? Genuinely asking. He does hold on between wees, sometimes. And he is dry at night too.

is his pre school insisting he has to be potty trained ? he is not even 3 yet you need to have patience and keep reminding him . I last potty trained 20 odd years ago and my dc was considered "slow to train" they weren't slow just under 3. and the "trained toddlers" at playgroup were still wetting themselves

anyway just keep taking him to the toilet ask if he wants a try. he will get it. as for the poos just take him when you think he's due a poo sometimes they hold onto. it till night time is that what he's doing ?

ShoesoftheWorld · 18/12/2023 14:52

Mine were all about 3 and a half (two boys, one girl). And once they got going it was pretty uncomplicated and the number of accidents countable on two hands. Night dryness came later, between 5 and 6.

Toottooot · 18/12/2023 14:52

Try toilet not potty? My child showed zero interest in using a potty but was happy to go right to the toilet.

Mrsjayy · 18/12/2023 14:56

oh yes toilet not potty get a toilet seat and a step for him climb up, the toilet is also better for pooing in.

MayMi · 18/12/2023 15:12

I'm potty training my 2 year old as well, and recently heard that pooing on the toilet is one of the last skills to achieve in this life stage - it's alright if he hasn't managed it yet 🙌🏻
That was from YouTube videos by Emma Hubbard about toilet training. She also says you have to stop using nappies/at least a have them wear training pants inside a nappy in order to make progress - not sure if you've done this yet.
Good luck 💫