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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if I actually have a criminal record?

52 replies

barnside · 18/12/2023 08:12

I’m very anxious about this and I’ve looked online a lot and can’t seem to find an answer.

In 2019 I was four months pregnant and in a horrible relationship. It was the worst time of my life and I can’t believe it happened to me, never ever thought I would end up in a situation like that. I don’t know if the trauma of everything has made my memory bad but I am now about to go for a job which asks for enhanced dbs and I have to declare on the application if I know of anything relating to a criminal record. Before you read what’s next I just want to say I am utterly ashamed of it all and yes, I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the last few years.

Basically in 2019 I called the police twice in a panic while in a room with this man. They came out and took a statement from me the first time which I was reluctant to give. Man was arrested and taken in for questioning. No further action was taken and things changed for a while, until the next time where I called and hung up but they still turned up anyway. On that occasion they asked us both questions separately and then told us we needed to be apart for 24 hours and that was it.

I left a few days later and then came back to collect my things. He wouldn’t let me in, I was banging on the door and then he suddenly opened it, pushed me to one side and started to leave the building. I followed him and I think grabbed his coat or arm and said please let me get my things, practically begging him. Next I remember him disappearing round the corner outside on his phone and then a few minutes later police turning up in cars. Apparently he had rang his dad and his dad had decided to call the police to say he was being harassed and threatened by me. I saw the police arrive as I was still waiting to speak to my ex outside the building and I saw them talking to him. I walked over and said what is going on I’m just trying to talk to him about the pregnancy and collect my things. Then what happened next is a blur, the two policeman came to me and I remember saying something like I am so worried my baby will have an awful father and one of the policemen said he didn’t have a dad growing up and he was fine and I needed to think of myself. I remember them being nice. Then one of them said where’s you car, let me take you to it as it’s obvious this relationship is over, I said yes it was over and I wanted to leave but I didn’t know why he had called the police. One policeman stayed with my ex and the other walked me to my car and I asked what my ex had said to them, he said he had said he felt harassed and that I had accused him of keeping my watch (which I had, part of why I wanted my things back). I was so shaken up by all this that when he asked if I wanted him to get my belongings or look into the watch I just said no and he said ok I think it’s best you stay away from here don’t you? And I agreed. I then left and didn’t hear from my ex until a long time after when he started to make cms payments. Ex did say many months later that he never made an official statement but he answered all their questions and they wrote things down. I think they did the same with me but I don’t really remember exactly and more remember being taken to the car and general chat with them.

I don’t understand if I was given a caution or a warning? Have a got a criminal record in any way for harassment or harm or something? I have thought about it on and off over the years but only now I have this enhanced dbs that I’ve begun to think about it in detail. How can I find out? I’m not a bad person I just made some bad decisions and I want to continue moving forward positively but this is making me very stressed.

OP posts:
SafeguardingSocialWorker · 18/12/2023 14:00

The information about the incident will still be on police systems but not recorded as a crime against you.

I work in safeguarding adults for the local authority and we get the police reports through to us after something like this has happened to offer support if the police have been concerned that you or any children are vulnerable, but it's not met the threshold for the police to be involved any further.

We would give you a ring, have a chat about it and if you as an adult declined the support from us that would usually be it from us (children's services may have different thresholds for any children involved).

The DBS doesn't disclose everything, only anything relevant to the job application, when the police get the application from the employer they choose what to disclose (if anything) from your police record. I can't see how the incident you described would be relevant unless you were applying for a job working in domestic abuse services - and even then there would need to be a really good reason why it was disclosed.

Paul2023 · 26/02/2024 23:32

Just my two pence worth. If you’re cautioned by a police officer -you do not have to say anything but anything you do say may be given in evidence etc isn’t a criminal record , it’s quite standard and noting to worry about.

Even being arrested isn’t necessarily a criminal record, people can be arrested and be de- arrested quite soon afterwards. It’s basically so the police can establish the facts before letting someone go.

A official police caution does form a criminal record- this means your finger prints are taken and you admit to committing a criminal offence. You’d definitely know if this happened to you. This is an admission of guilt without going to court.

In terms of the Rehabilitation of offenders act, a caution is “spent “ immediately.

However if you apply for certain jobs in positions of trust - police , teacher, justice system , you’d have to declare this when going through vetting. An official caution will show up on an enhanced check permanently.

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