To be pissed off about this (and worried)

[Crispwinterwalks]

Asked DH to make 5 month old a feed yesterday because I was sorting other things. We use a perfect prep which I know technically isn’t recommended by official guidance, but he made it up incorrectly, putting the powder into the bottle and then adding the hot shot and the rest. I told him it was incorrect, assuming it was a one off mistake if he hadn’t been concentrating and he shrugged and said ‘yeah I know, but can’t see what difference it makes.’

It’s starting to stress me a bit to be honest as dh is lovely but lazy. I can be lazy too but not with safety surely … or AIBU? And I’m guessing if the baby hasnt had any bad reaction then all is ok?

It makes zero difference, yabu.

Hi OP. If he didn't mix it after the hot shot and before the rest of the water then imo that's wrong and I too would be upset.

The perfect prep takes all the stress out so if DP would then not even follow that I would think they were incredibly lazy.

YABU to use a machine not recommended due to concerns that the hot shot is not properly sufficient temp wise to sterilise and bacteria building up in the workings of the machine, and then worry it isn't being used right!

It's probably just fine, but let me tell you what happens when it's not. I live in the US and a couple years ago there was a contamination at the factory where our formula is made. It basically all comes from one place. A few babies died and many were sickened, I think it was e. coli or something like that. It was a common bacteria. So there's absolutely no advice anywhere about heating the formula to a certain temp first. No one did that here. I used to work in a daycare and we just mixed formula with room temp water. Even the packaging didn't have any guidance on safety. So that factory was shut down and there was basically no formula on shelves for the next year and a half at least. I had a baby during this time and I was terrified my milk wouldn't come in or having issues nursing, because there was basically no alternative. I had to figure out which FB group to join to find people who were selling formula out of the trunk of their car in random parking lots for cash. It's already expensive so the price shot up and you couldn't be picky about what kind you got. Thankfully we nursed just fine but it just goes to show how serious the safety aspect is. That was such a nightmare, still during the pandemic too. It was so stressful and scary. Babies can't handle food poisoning like a bigger person can. It just takes one bottle that isn't heated properly. Any kind of machine has to be broken down and sterilized after each use. Recently a mother lost her baby because she washed her breast pump with hot soapy water instead of boiling it. I would absolutely never use a perfect prep, it's just not worth the risk. Hope your DH can be motivated to take care of your baby properly, he needs a wake up call.

I used to worry excessively about exactly how we made up bottles (advice was different then and I’d be flamed if i told you how we did it. We were not in the uk and it involved no hot water at all).

honestly your baby either is already crawling around or will be soon and picking up all kinds of bacteria on their hands and sticking fingers into their mouths.

as long as powder touched hot water it’s sterile enough. The order really really doesn’t matter.

Where were you 2021-22 when our formula supply was contaminated, babies died, and the subsequent shortage? The lesson learned from this was we fucked up by not giving guidance. And it's still not happening! The government is run by idiots.

Won't that make the powder stick to the bottle making more work because you have to shake it more to mix?

Short cuts lead to long delays I suppose

both unreasonable to use the machine in the first place when it’s against guidance

I can't see how adding things to the bottle in a different order is "lazy" though. Just a slightly different way of doing it.

You say he can't be bothered to do things but then in this post you have fixated on something tiny and made a mountain out of a molehill.

Without being there it's impossible to tell but it could be that if you have to control every tiny detail of how the baby is being cared for, this is making dh back off a bit and not want to bother?

Powder hitting boiling water is the important part. Whether you powder then water or water then powder as long as the water is just boiled and the powder mixed thoroughly and you don’t immediately add cool water there shouldn’t be a problem.

heat is needed to sterilise the powder. 65c is the temp bacteria start to die, 70c is the WHO/NHS recommendation . Baby bottles are to be made with just boiled water as this kills off the majority of bacteria both in the water through boiling and the powder by adding just boiling water.

one of the big big issues I see is parents boiling then cooling water and adding powder to cooled water that is it being warmed up for drinking. The water is usually safe if poured hot straight into bottles and sealed. The powder isn’t.

the recommendations are made because they’ve been tested.

the perfect prep machine has it issues both with the heating of the water but also the water feed tubes can easily build up mould if not properly cleaned.

id personally ditch the perfect prep machine and go the recommended route of boiled water and cool the entire bottle in cold water.

https://www.swansea.ac.uk/press-office/news-events/news/2023/10/study-raises-concerns-over-powdered-infant-formula-preparation-machines.php#:~:text=A%20study%20by%20Swansea%20University,this%20could%20pose%20a%20serious

you are supposed to do the hot shot first then add the powder, afaik anyway.

This is news to me, I always added the powder first and then gave it a good shake, oops!

@flowerchild2000 how awful

Thanks for replies. I don’t want to be taking over all the time but it feels a bit like I have to sometimes. Believe it or not I am pleased I don’t have to on this!

I had no idea formula wasn't sterile!😮😮

In my day we made a whole day's bottles with boiling water, kept them in the fridge and reheated when needed. No problems from that although not allowed now

There is no difference between adding the water to the bottle first or the powder. The water is a measured amount so you aren't risking putting too little in and it's not sterilising the bottle because you'd need it to be boiling water for at least 5 minutes to actually sterilise the container.

If he was measuring the water out then it should be water first because the powder will add volume and it would be too concentrated but the perfect prep machine delivers the right amount for the bottle.

It’s exactly the same mixture. The order doesn’t change that and it has zero impact on its sterility

This. Silly to bleat on about ‘the correct way’ in this circumstance.

The powder isn’t sterile (it can contain salmonella and ecoli) and to be sterile it needs adding to a large volume of hot water, the hot shot is not sufficient to achieve this as it cools too rapidly. The cool shot is also not sterile as it has never been boiled. And the warm steamy tubes of the perfect prep are a breeding ground for bacteria. The nuby rapid cool is a much safer option for making convenient feeds. If you are happy to use the perfect prep whether you do it your way or your husbands way it makes no difference.

You are supposed to add the formula first then the hot shot. This is how it is on the on screen instructions and I've just double checked the Tommee Tippee website to confirm. so your husband is correct.

When my first DD was born, the instructions said to add hot shot then the powder. Second DD, it was powder then hotshot - new machine, different instructions. It doesn't matter either way. I preferred the newer instructions as always felt rushed scooping before machine timed out.

We always did powder first as it keeps the scoop much cleaner. Powder after the shot makes it all steamy and the powder sticks to it.

I also felt like the hot shot was rapidly cooling down while I measured out the scoops (on the now sticky spoon) whereas if it's all in there to begin with the hot shot hits it all at the same time.

We would stand and swirl the hot shot through the powder as it came out.

After a baby with severe reflux where we needed to make up the formula without boiling water (it just clumps) and needed to mix her medicine with juice at a few months old 😩 we realised that guidance and standards are great but you have to do what is practical and works.

Fair enough, we obviously have an older model. But DH hadn’t carefully checked he couldn’t be bothered to do it the way it should be done (according to our machine anyway.)

It isn’t really about the formula. It’s more about the attitude that’s upset me a bit.

I don't think you need to worry about baby becoming ill from it, but I'm sure it's annoying to feel that DP couldn't be bothered to do it the way you'd agreed.

Advice on how to make & store formula changes so much over the years. At the risk of sounding ancient, the norm was to make up a whole 24 hrs worth of bottles & store them in the fridge when my eldest was born. You then warmed it in a jug of hot water when needed. That's clearly not best advice now, but nor did it harm the baby.

No, I’m sure it wouldn’t harm her, but I think it’s just because it was such a tiny, tiny thing and the fact he (by his own admission) was too lazy to do it was upsetting to me. I’m feeling a bit alone with parenting as a result of this because DH is all about cutting corners so I feel I have to do things ‘properly’ and so result is I just never ever catch a break.

YABU to be worried as it sounds like it’s not an actual problem. However YANBU to be pissed off with having a lazy husband who takes the easy route every time. I know how hard that is and I wish you well.

Maybe he was just using a bit of common sense rather than doing it "properly" which is clearly is a matter of some debate anyway. I lost it with now ex when DD was 10 weeks old and he made her a bottle with normal milk from the fridge (not out first child either) because he just "forgot" 🙄 but I couldn't get worked up over this. Also, what are these prep machines? Why are they supposedly better than just a kettle?