Hosting with 'nibbly bits' is a total pain

[Itsallfunngamesuntil]

Having about twelve people round to ours for Boxing Day.....about one third of the group is vegetarian.

I've already said I'll just make a huge veggie lasagne (I'm a decent cook). Lots of friends suggesting that we can all do nibbles to take the pressure off me (has been a pretty stressful year). Nice of them to think of me, but just wondering on other people's thoughts on this and whether I'm overthinking it. Thanks (ps I'm not a fan of the word nibbles, but was struggling for an alternative lol)

AINBU - much easier to feed a large crowd with a proper meal of veggie lasagne that can be prepped a few days in advance and you are not up and down constantly to the oven and back to the table again checking on when the 'nibbles' are ready.....it also interrupts the conversation flow

AIBU - nibbles are much handier. No prepping involved n getting up n down to the table is not a hassle

I am not a veggie and that sounds pretty delicious tbh

I don't want the M&S/Iceland/Tesco party food, they are boring, expensive and taste bland.
I would prefer a cheese board, charcutrie platter, savoury spreads, houmus, olives, bread, a quiche cut in eight, crisps etc

Don't most buffet spreads include both ?

YABU, in your OP you say they suggested all bringing something. So, no, it’s not a faff as it’s a joint effort.
Tell them it’s a great plan and you’ll just do a smaller lasagne (and salad and garlic bread if you want) and they can bring whatever they want to add to the buffet.

Having to faff around heating up lots of canapés is a pita especially when combined with greeting people, serving drinks etc.

we are hosting a big gathering next weekend. I am doing a cheeseboard, a gammon and a vegan chili plus homemade bread, French bread and salad. It will all be prepped the day before and laid out before the guests arrive. They can all then graze and help themselves thoughout the evening and I can stay out of the kitchen.

This is going to sound SO pretentious. But it is what I feel, so here goes. All our tates are different and I am NOT, NOT, NOT judging anyone who likes different foods. I'm just saying what I like. Each to their own.

I agree with some other Mumsnetters that purchased party foods are horrid. Bland, over-processed, salty, too much pastry (which I don't like) and often far too fatty. Mostly they don't taste of anything except hot fat and salt. And, as previous posters have also said, they are an indigestible mix of poorly-imitated different cusines.

I am a vegetarian and IMHO the OP's lasagne sounds nice. And it's real food, made with lots of lovely real vegetables. (I can't stand fake meat or fake cheese or Quorn.) I'd possibly find it a bit too rich - I'd use a plain but highly seasoned bechamel made with veg stock and fresh herbs and just put cheese on top of the final layer. But that's only my taste.

I also like other previous posters' suggestions of a buffet with real cold ingredients that all taste of themselves: nice cold meat with grainy mustard, smoked salmon and some lemon quarters and/or horseradish mayonnaise, decent contrasting-type cheeses (soft, blue, pungent, fresh/mild/crumbly, goat or ewe), olives, grapes, quartered figs, posh little tomatoes, celery sticks and cucumber sticks/slices, sliced avocado in vinaigrette, grated raw carrots in olive oil with lemon, sliced raw apples, clementines, chutney if you like it (I don't) , oatcakes, proper nice bread, unsalted butter, plain crackers such as Bath Olivers. If your guests can be trusted to behave then home-made hummus and home made tabbouleh (both really, really simple), too. Probably cheaper than the equivalent quantity of re-heated packs of beige factory-made party food. And not too much bother to prepare on the day.

To repeat - this is just me saying what I'd prefer. I am not judging anyone, at all.

I host friends frequently and YANBU, OP. "Nibbly bits" work out much more expensive and definitely more work for the host. I'd much rather be able to prepare one or two big things in advance to serve when people want them

It's Boxing day and you will already have prepared and hosted a big dinner the day before. I'd personally farm out quite a lot to my guests: I'll provide xyz but could you please bring hummus, dips, crackers, whatever you've got still from the day before (which, let's face it, is where the Boxing day buffet comes from. It's not meant to mean having to rustle up a whole new meal from scratch). I know I always have extras from food I've laid in for the holiday, or from hampers I've received, and I never arrive empty-handed when I go somewhere on Boxing day.

I like your idea of lasagne.
I would stick to that and ask everyone to bring some something to go with.
Olives, bread sticks to pick at before the meal.
Garlic bread and different salads for the table to go with the lasagne.
And finally variety of desserts, crackers and cheese board for afters.

It depends on the host, some parties I went to just had these ready made ones available and I felt bloated and sick afterwards.

Doesn't work if someone is choosing to make lasagne as it's cheaper than the party food!

Your question was completely clear, op, but has been lost in a sea of people telling you what they personally would like for lunch 😁

I'd say most people feel sick after Iceland party food!

I think a huge lasagne sounds brilliant. You could maybe ask others to bring 'nibble bits' to serve alongside? In this case, by 'nibbles' I pretty much just mean olives, breadsticks, posh crisps and some of those feta stuffed tiny peppers.

You're the host so your call but I think it depends on the vibe you want for your gathering. Lasagne suggests a sit down meal, a spread of things that people can help themselves to as and when is a totally different shape of a day. More relaxed, people can just nibble the whole time. Also, some people are so full by Boxing Day that they don't want a big meal. Some people have more stamina! Nibbles give you options.

I completely agree that cooking lots of bits is a faff, but if you do a charcuterie board, a cheese board, olives, crisps, a big platter of crudités with dips, some lovely bread and maybe a savoury tart of some kind, you can have that all laid out before anyone arrives and literally not have to do anything after that point.

We’re having a cold buffet on Christmas Day - no one (17 of us) wanted the traditional meal. Lots of easy food and no worries about any cooking!

If I was coming to your house OP and sitting down around a table, I would love to have your vegetable lasagne with garlic bread and salad .

In my house or anywhere else where people are sitting around on sofas I would prefer the buffet/snacky option .

It depends on the time of day.

Maybe I'm against the norm then, but I'd be doing similar to you...in my case it'd be jacket potato (the hot main haha), salad, quiche, left over meats (usually turkey, beef, gammon, nut roast) and some pre-cooked sausage rolls, devil's eggs, crackers, olives. If require anything warm, throw it in airfryer whilst load up 😉 my friends and family would be most inclined to talk and help whilst setting the table (or shoving a sausage roll in their mooft!).

When did hosting a buffet turn into a swarrr-ray 😉 I'm just happy if don't have to cook!

That's my take on it

Yeah I don’t think they like it and are kicking themselves for being so nice about it previously.

take their offers to bring nibbles.

I prefer nibbles as you can eat as little or as much as you want or just nothing!

I have so many dinners around the Christmas period that after a while I feel sated and bloated!

It sounds refreshing to serve nibbles and it doesn't have to be crisps & peanuts but a selection of meze or tapas with vege options, all washed down with copious amounts of Prosecco...

2 pans of soup, one vegetarian - bread rolls and tell people to bring others if they want anything else.
Maybe a massive eaton mess- pretty and easy

We are more a meat and salad buffet style Boxing Day.

A few cooked items maybe but that’s because children so might sling a pizza in the oven to chop up and a tray of wedges but it’s mainly cheese/salad/crusty rolls/crisps/cold meats/fruit and some brownies. So it’s certainly not faffy or hard work.

Also I love a good lasagna but not a veggie one and after eating a huge stuffing meal the day before I can’t stomach a big sit down meal again.

I would also be offering to bring extra food if you told me it was vegetarian lasagne!

How about two pans of chilli, one veggie one not. You can ask x person to bring plenty of nachos or wraps, y person to make/bring guacamole, others for sour cream / coriander / cheese / rice / jackets etc etc. A couple of guests can bring puddings. They obviously want to feel helpful and involved and not have to eat vegetable lasagne.

Is your home questionable in terms of hygiene? I have a lovely friend with a lovely home but she’ll let the dogs lick her, scratches, picks her ears and doesn’t wash her hands after the loo.
She has suggested she cook for us many times but I’ve always been “ooh not had a take away in ages”. Even then she’ll lick the sauce of her fingers and then hand you the plate or cutlery.

Personally I love picky bits. If that’s what everyone else is suggesting could you get the bits you need to heat to make sure they all take the same amount of time. Then ask others to bring maybe bread / hummus/ salads / crisps / dips / desserts etc?