Hosting with 'nibbly bits' is a total pain

[Itsallfunngamesuntil]

Having about twelve people round to ours for Boxing Day.....about one third of the group is vegetarian.

I've already said I'll just make a huge veggie lasagne (I'm a decent cook). Lots of friends suggesting that we can all do nibbles to take the pressure off me (has been a pretty stressful year). Nice of them to think of me, but just wondering on other people's thoughts on this and whether I'm overthinking it. Thanks (ps I'm not a fan of the word nibbles, but was struggling for an alternative lol)

AINBU - much easier to feed a large crowd with a proper meal of veggie lasagne that can be prepped a few days in advance and you are not up and down constantly to the oven and back to the table again checking on when the 'nibbles' are ready.....it also interrupts the conversation flow

AIBU - nibbles are much handier. No prepping involved n getting up n down to the table is not a hassle

I really disagree with this. I don’t think most people would dream of telling the host what to cook based on their own preferences, however gently. Trying to suggest a (perceived) lower effort meal to someone who’s just cooked all Christmas Day is much more likely.

These threads always descend into people just saying what they personally like for lunch, which is quite a long way from what op asked.

you're literally agreeing with it though. they aren't telling the host what to cook, they're saying they'll bring their own.

lots of people don't like particular vegetables that might be included in a lasagne (or not - who knows)

lots of people baulk at the idea of a big greasy meal at a time of year when they've already overeaten

lots of people who aren't vegetarian prefer to have some kind of meat in their meal

lots of people are picky eaters and either don't want to go into it or don't want to seem awkward

lots of people also have leftovers they're trying to get rid of rather than waste food

Loathe the word "nibbles" (and "picky bits" which is the same difference). I think the lasagne option has everyone sitting down together and after the richness of Christmas day is a good idea.

I would make a meat one too though.

I'd expect a load of cold meats and pickles or a turkey curry.

You are not being unreasonable. You are hosting, so quite honestly, people should be grateful for what they get. I know there is always someone who when offered coffee will insist on tea (but can it be decaf and preferably made from ground unicorn horn), or who doesn't like whatever is on offer and expects the host to change the menu to accommodate them, but you are offering a veggie option, which should cover most religious or ethical requirements, so IMO it is churlish to suggest you change the whole meal.

There is no such thing as everyone's favourite meal, and nibbles are a faff, so in your shoes I would just smile and say that the menu is sorted thanks, and if they fancy bringing a salad it would be welcome.

What is a butter board?

My preference is buffet over lasagne which I wouldn’t eat at any time of the year but at Christmas it just feels a bit blah.
If you served it up though I’d have a small amount and fill up on the salad and bread and just enjoy the company.
I did a buffet for 40 a few weeks ago, it took about 2 days to prepare as I find the oven stuff to be cheap processed food and not especially tasty.
Lasagne would definitely be a lot less faff.

I think a lot of veggies aren't actually keen on veggie lasagne.

I think nibbly bits are more socialable. You could do a few different salads - pre-prepped - garlic bread, crisps and dips with the lasagne if you wanted best of both.

That is not the case, as I've mentioned in previous comments.

People are happy with lasagne and was not the point of this thread

Thanks again for all the comments

Thanks especially to those who have read my subsequent comments before posting.

The issue is not.....would you serve lasagne......the issue is 'I think nibbly bits are a total pain and hassle and means you cannot sit and chat with your guests'....aibu?

I honestly thought I'd made that clear from my subsequent comments ....but maybe I'm just being thick lol

My husband makes a delicious vegetarian lasagna so I have no problem believing people would enjoy that. But if they're offering to bring food presumably it will be ready to serve and won't need any additional work from you?

I'm a vegetarian and would love a vegetable lasagne. A big leafy salad and plenty of garlic bread to go with it.
Mushroom risotto is probably the dreariest meal imaginable.

No I didnt say it wasnt another big eating day, just that I wouldn't want another sit down 'formal' type meal. It wouldnt be my choice and id prefer picky bits where I could pick and choose what I wanted, whether thats a full plate or just a few bits.

I honestly couldn’t fancy veggie lasagne after a big roast the day before tbh.
Boxing Day is about a buffet imo and snacky food. I think your guests offering to bring things is them saying that’s what they’d prefer too.
Its your house and you are the host though so totally your call

The thing I like about 'pickety bits' the day after Xmas Day (no Boxing Day here) is that we have a very heavy meal on Xmas Day so it's nice the next day to just be able to do a little plate of one or two bite canapés and a few crudités instead of sitting down to another 'full' meal.

But I do think a buffet of canapés and such are more of a pain to 'lay out' than just slapping a lasagne on the table with a basket of bread and a green salad. Especially since lasagne can be prepped a couple days ahead then bunged in the oven.

I bloody love nibbles! I popped into Aldi to get some cheese for a cheeseboard when we had friends coming over and went nuts with their buffet! I still have mini katsu burgers and some Calamari in the freezer. DH was 🤔when I came home half an hour later with my stash! They have veggie stuff too. I love a lasagne and I cant be bothered to make it for myself

I'm with you OP.

Did a buffet yesterday with all those buffet foods.
Juggling...
8-10 mins at 180
12 mins at 160
14 mins at 170
20 mins and allow to rest

Then there's the 'place the sticks and mezzalunas in for 4 mins then add the rest 4 mins later. Heat the dip prior to serving.'

Then there's the salad, bread, cheese, crispy snacks bits...
I spent so long I got fed up and couldn't be arsed to eat it.

Too much faff.

This. I wouldn’t want a lasagna either, not very festive.

Personally I would do a fork buffet with the lasagne, a load of jacket potatoes, cut up baguette, a Mumsnet TM massive salad, whatever leftovers are available and add the nibbly bits to that, thus hopefully keeping everyone happy

Not sure I want a lasagne you prepared a couple of days prior.

It also all depends on the set up. For lasagne you need knife and fork and a proper table to eat at. Nibbles (hot/cold) can be eaten on the lap with my fingers or just a fork.

After Christmas Day I would prefer nibbles as I can just eat a bit compared to a large main dish.
But - I don't want the M&S/Iceland/Tesco party food, they are boring, expensive and taste bland.
I would prefer a cheese board, charcutrie platter, savoury spreads, houmus, olives, bread, a quiche cut in eight, crisps etc.

I like hot nibbles, as long as I don't have to prepare them! Your veggie lasagne sounds epic; this would be my preference.

As somebody from a large family I completely agree. Portion sizes of lots of different things is much harder to plan correctly for, and serve, than a single dish.

To be fair, and I am carnivorous, if you are a decent cook a decent vegetarian lasagne can be made. With some good quality garlic bread and peas or salad on the side it can be a delight.

I always feel shit after a “picky bits” buffet, all that beige and three thousand calories.

I think there are ways to do nibbles, even hot, that don’t involve you getting up and down. But that still requires more planning, more expense and more equipment than cooking a lasagna.

I think, especially people who don’t cook or host much themselves, often think of nibbles as something you can just buy instead of having to do yourself and don’t consider the logistics of the day. So I can see why friends might suggest it even if they love your lasagna. But they are wrong!

I prefer to do nibbles / buffet. Prepare the majority before people arrive and set it out in the kitchen. We don't have a dining room though - so I struggle with serving a cooked meal to a group .