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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my mother to buy DD3 some school shoes?

50 replies

SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:20

i have always done it,
dd is 8 and has been nagging me for shoes for ages, which i tend to ignore,
turns out she has holes in them and my mum plans to take her shopping.

feel she is going too far, it is something I do and would prefer it stayed that way.

OP posts:
aGalChangedHerName · 15/03/2008 08:21

Just tell her you have planned to take dd and are doing shopping lunch etc?

FrannyandZooey · 15/03/2008 08:21

not sure why you have ignored her nagging for shoes? I would imagine your mum sees shoes without holes as a necessity and thinks that if you are not going to do it, then she will

aGalChangedHerName · 15/03/2008 08:22

If the shoes are holey maybe she thinks dd needs shoes now?

cluckyagain · 15/03/2008 08:23

It sounds really kind of your Mum - I'm sure if you explained that it's 'one of your things with dd' then she would understand.

Hulababy · 15/03/2008 08:23

Personally I would be happy for someone else to pay for school shoes. Cost a small fortune and need replacing so often, and not the most exciting of iems to buy.

However, if yu really don't want anyone else to buy them - then tell you mum that, and go out and buy sme.

Your mum might just be saying it, as your DD has holes in her shoes, and she might thing the reasn they haven't been replaced already is financial reasons, etc. I think she is just trying to be helpful.

Disenchanted · 15/03/2008 08:23

dd is 8 and has been nagging me for shoes for ages, which i tend to ignore,

huh?

Just let your mum buy her some shoes!

'she is going too far' - What?!

FrannyandZooey · 15/03/2008 08:24

I like choosing ds's shoes as well
it seems kind of personal for someone else to choose them
more than happy for someone else to PAY though

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:24

i didnt realise the holes {blush}

of course i wouldnt let her walk around with holes in her shoes but the reasons she was giving for wanting new shoes,
so and so has new shoes! didnt cut any ice.

OP posts:
pukkapatch · 15/03/2008 08:24

if you were going to do it, then you should have done it before your dd had holes in them. especially in the middle of february/march

well done to your mother for being a concerned grangparent

Disenchanted · 15/03/2008 08:25

What an odd post, the more time I spend on mumsnet and the more posts I read I find my self going quite alot!

FrannyandZooey · 15/03/2008 08:25

oh I see!
do you think maybe she is making a point
"well if you are not responsible to notice she has holes in her shoes then I had better take over"
sounds like a motherish thing to do

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:25

i jsut feel that way disenchanted.

i dont mind any other item of clothing i promise.

OP posts:
Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:26

perhaps she is "just making a point" and she
knew what my reaction would be

OP posts:
pukkapatch · 15/03/2008 08:26

if you polish her shoes once a week, then you will know whether or not she needs new school shoes
if you simply LOOK at her shoes, or her toes, then you will know whether sh e needs new school shoes.
feet are sooooo important. its impossible to overplay their importance. badly fitted shoes will cause not just achy feet, but back problems, headaches, tiredness, inability to concentrate. etc etc etc

pukkapatch · 15/03/2008 08:27

i dont think any other item of clothing is as important.

except perhaps in winter coat in sub zero temperatures.[ smile]

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:27

well she never did complain they hurt

as to the polishing

OP posts:
pukkapatch · 15/03/2008 08:29

i agree about the ignoring the reasons she mentioned. i do that too.
i polish the kid s shoes now because if i dont then they fall to bits long before they grow out of them. i always buy clarks, so supposedly good quality, but the leather does need a polish.

FrannyandZooey · 15/03/2008 08:29

LOL Slarty I have never polished a pair of shoes in my life
we seem to have survived so far

pukkapatch · 15/03/2008 08:30

do your boys not play football in school shoes then?or use their brand new school shoes as brakes for their bikes?

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:31
Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:33

it is my dd,
i do clean the mud off them but wouldn't let her cycle in them after school, and it is only very occasionally we have cycled to and from school

OP posts:
TheAntiFlounce · 15/03/2008 08:37

I polish ds1's shoes on a Sunday night, when I am laying out his uniform and I notice that his regulation black school shoes are, in fact, grey!

paddingtonbear1 · 15/03/2008 08:40

I don't think I'd mind too much tbh, but I know what you mean. My nan bought my school shoes once when my mum was busy - those were my faves and I was really sad when I grew out of them!
dd has been in the same pair since last Sept. Once she said she wanted new ones, we went to the shop to check her size but the shoes were still fine! I think we may have to change them over easter though as they are looking v tatty now, and this is after schumagic!!

alardi · 15/03/2008 08:41

Scooter brakes, that's what DS' shoes are for.

I would love someone to buy school shoes for DD, can I have your mum to visit, SlartyBF?

DD's shoes have big holes in the toes (not thru to socks, but only a matter of time). How mean am I not to replace them yet, do you reckon?

Original poster
SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:43

perfectly reasonable alardi,
in my book

OP posts: