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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my mother to buy DD3 some school shoes?

50 replies

SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 08:20

i have always done it,
dd is 8 and has been nagging me for shoes for ages, which i tend to ignore,
turns out she has holes in them and my mum plans to take her shopping.

feel she is going too far, it is something I do and would prefer it stayed that way.

OP posts:

kinki · 15/03/2008 09:04

Can see where you are coming from slarty, but look at it from a purely practical viewpoint. This could save you £35. Phone her up, grit your teeth, say you'd love her to buy the shoes and you'd all like to go together. You and dd choose. She pays. Then offer to take her for (a cheap) lunch, and you'll still be about £20 up. Winners all round, dd gets her shoes, granny gets to pay, you get cash to spend on yourself.

Original poster

SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 09:05

now that's a good idea kinki.
somehow i don;t think grandma will agree

OP posts:

annemarie29 · 15/03/2008 09:19

my ds1 granny buys him new school shoes and i don't mind at all. i agree with kinki...especially if it is just that she wants to do something nice for her granddaughter and help you out at the same time.

bellavita · 15/03/2008 09:21

I would love it if grandma bought shoes for my DS's.

Original poster

SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 09:28

just had the conversation...
she was really upset about the hole in the shoe, i mean really upset

think she feels guilty to have raised such a bad mother!

i said quite firmly I wanted to do it, it might seem petty and unreasonable but,i just would prefer it.

OP posts:

annemarie29 · 15/03/2008 09:46

not at all unreasonable slarty. some mums just prefer to do it themselves.

hatwoman · 15/03/2008 10:04

at polishing shoes every week. I look at their shoes once a week (the day I take them to school) and think lawks-a-lordy they look scruffy. and then a week later I look at them and think "lawks-a-lordy they look scruffy. and then a week later....

Original poster

SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 10:31

OP posts:

magnolia74 · 15/03/2008 10:35

I prefer to choose the girls shoes myself just so they don't end up with flimsy ones that won't last more than a few weeks. But if my mum wants to pay then she can come with us

bluenosesaint · 15/03/2008 10:43

Hey if my mum wanted to buy dd1's shoes's i would be fuming!

However, if she wanted to buy shoes for dd2 and dd3 as well, then thats a different matter

jellybeans · 15/03/2008 12:53

I would say thankyou very much for offering to pay and go along too so that i could help decide in case they were totally unacceptable.

mumeeee · 15/03/2008 15:32

YABU. Shoes are expensive, your DD needs them and it is kind of your Mother to offer to buyt them for her.

windygalestoday · 15/03/2008 15:40

having just bought 2 pairs of school shoes 2 pairs of astro turfs and 3 pairs of trainers in 6 weeks i would dearly love someone to buy them for my children!!! these are all adult sized now due to big footed rapid growing teenage sons and 1- 7 yr old with size 3 feet.

ibelieveindreaming · 15/03/2008 16:22

I don't really understand why school shoes are any different to any other clothing, and after I spent nearly an hour in clarks last time I'd be happy for someone else to take her, I could maybe understand you wanting to buy her first pair.

AliciaJohns · 15/03/2008 16:29

YABU.

Kitti · 15/03/2008 18:28

she can buy my kids' shoes if she likes. I think it's very generous of her to offer. Quit complaining and be grateful

lollipopmother · 15/03/2008 18:34

YABU, she wanted to buy some shoes, not sell your child on the black market! If she bought the shoes and you didn't like them then you could just put them in the cupboard and wear them infrequently, and buy some other shoes yourself. Why would she definitely buy shoes you wouldn't like? Is your child not allowed any input into what shoes she gets?

KimiKilledTheEasterBunny · 15/03/2008 18:41

Love your name Slarty
Would your mum like to get my sons some new school shoes, I have no idea what they do to them but by heck they do go through them.

I think if you are upset by it you should just tell your mum, thank you for the kind offer but I have it under control.

Original poster

SlartyBartFast · 15/03/2008 19:28

i felt so much better after coming on here... and guess it was just a knee jerk reaction.
mothers!

OP posts:

Scattybird · 15/03/2008 19:30

Haven't read all of this, but if your child has holes in their shoes, I expect my Parents would have something to say.

Let her buy them.

Overrun · 15/03/2008 19:31

My parents pay for all my threes shoes, we are not exactly rolling in it. And this really helps.
Can't understand your point of view. Although I do buy them with the dcs, and then my parents give me the money afterwards. It really takes the stress out of shoe buying

Scattybird · 15/03/2008 19:33

Think about it;

The 2 most important things you need in life.

Shoes

Bed

Thats it really.

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/03/2008 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alambil · 15/03/2008 19:36

My mum has bought my DS most of his shoes in his life actually...

I really don't get why you are being so precious over the bill?? Surely you can go together, pick the shoes and then your mum pays - where is the big deal in SAVING money??!!

If you won't let her - can she send the money for my DS's shoes? I'm going to have to save up for his in the near future

Scattybird · 15/03/2008 19:39

Errrr, I think it's important to polish shoes as well.

I do it every day.

Sadly there are people on Ebay who will buy my Sons shoes. Some advertise as this; a good polish will bring them up! WTF why didn't they polish them?

I polish our shoes as does my DH.

Someone said to me recenly at a gathering of colleagues; You can tell people by their shoes.

I actually believe this

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