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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drug dealers and their families

61 replies

hardtono · 16/12/2023 10:18

NC for this.

I'm trying to work out my own feelings but I admit to feeling very judgemental having worked with people whose lives have been destroyed by drugs.

If one of the middle-aged family members was a drug dealer how would you feel about them and their partner and kids? Would you judge the adults and worry that the kids will follow in the parent's footsteps? Kids are teenagers if that matters. If your teens were friends with their kids would you be concerned?

I can't enable voting because I'm on the app but AIBU to be concerned and worry that if a parent is a drug dealer then the family must be involved in some way but most definitely affected by it?

OP posts:
DissidentDaughter · 17/12/2023 00:35

Why am I not surprised by many of the clumsy comments on this thread… *sigh

flumposie · 17/12/2023 00:43

I would judge, but not the children. My life and my neighbours were made hell for almost a year when a well known drug dealer moved in across the road. Barely slept for months due to the coming and goings from 10pm until 3am often. Police were useless. It was horrific. Ended with violence.

DissidentDaughter · 17/12/2023 00:56

@flumposie sounds awful. A dealer moving in does change the vibe of a street, not for the better obviously.

Branleuse · 17/12/2023 00:56

I wouldn't really care as long as it wasn't crack, smack or speed.
I wouldn't be bothered if someone sold weed, but I think it would mainly depend on how I felt they were as people and whether I found them interesting or dull

WandaWonder · 17/12/2023 00:57

VisionsOfSplendour · 16/12/2023 11:36

Even if they were posting in this thread it's not inconsistent to say that whilst you would buy drugs you wouldn't want your children to be best friends with the dealers children is it? And those who to allow that are entitled to their choices also

Show quote history

So they are good enough to buy off but not associate with?

Drugs ruin lives unless a parent took them when pregnant it is a choice to start to take them

MintJulia · 17/12/2023 02:33

Yes, I would judge the adults (and report them). I'd not let my child anywhere near their house, but my ds's friends (other kids) are welcome in my house as long as they behave normally.

But it would all stop, the moment I found (or smelled) drugs in my house.

Ponoka7 · 17/12/2023 02:56

hardtono · 16/12/2023 12:14

@vidflex @Beezknees Flowers and thank you for sharing your experiences.

I wouldn't judge young children of dealers but I'd be concerned about teens living in that household in an area well know for its drugs and crimes. I imagine it would be very hard not to be caught up in what's going on. If the dealer parent dies would the older teen take over the business perhaps? That would be my worry-that there would be pressure to do so.

It's a supply chain. Those supplying would have to have faith in who is taking over. Most people graft for someone who owns a few phones. Or has bought a graft etc. If they died, or was going to jail normally the graft would be offered to someone who could handle it and not grass. The partner or young adult child would be thrown a few hundred. If it was their's built up from nothing then it would be rare that they haven't schooled their son/younger brother etc tbh.

It's so violent now. I wouldn't want them in their house, or running around in their car. There's ego, arrogance and greed going on and usually that's passed down. Throw in a too fast car bought for show and you're looking at a disaster waiting to happen.

Ladyj84 · 17/12/2023 03:01

Anything or anyone to do with drugs our family won't be around

SharSharBinks · 17/12/2023 06:20

Couldn't get annoyed about weed. Should've been legalised by now.

Laurendelaney1987 · 17/12/2023 06:35

As a teen I had a classmate whos dad was a drug dealer.

i had no idea. One night I was at her house and called my parents to ask if i could stay over. My dad asked her surname: and immediately told me no, and he came and collected me.

he basically said that her family were targets for revenge attacks and he didn’t want me hanging out with her outside of school

it was a shame as she was a lovely girl

Original poster
hardtono · 17/12/2023 10:10

Some interesting points raised in the replies, thank you. With the family I'm talking about I'm not convinced the teens aren't involved because they are thought to also be dealing. There's no proof of that but I'm going with being overly cautious.

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