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AIBU?

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Original poster

Toddler given marshmallows at nursery

194 replies

ginonthebus · 15/12/2023 23:21

DS (18 months) has returned from nursery this evening with a cake he's 'made'. Was slightly concerned to see that it's decorated with a full size marshmallow on top. His nursery are usually brilliant with safety etc, but aren't these a major choking hazard? Can't tell if I'm being a bit PFB about this or if it's worth saying something to nursery. DH thinks we'll be 'those parents' if we do...

OP posts:
buckeejit · 17/12/2023 23:01

snackatack · 17/12/2023 22:58

I didn't know - I'm guessing the nursery might not have done either..

It was a few years into having young children that I found out you have to cut grapes lengthways - rather than in 'half' - as 'in half' can be the same choking hazard!

If the nursery didn't know then they are in serious breach of their legal safeguarding requirements

threatmatrix · 17/12/2023 23:38

For the love of god.

PastelHouses · 18/12/2023 04:46

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NewNan21 · 18/12/2023 05:25

You were buying for your toddler you should have said no marshmallows. The staff wouldn’t know. Take responsibility for your own children. Always someone else’s fault, easy way out.

PastelHouses · 18/12/2023 07:34

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GrazingSheep · 18/12/2023 08:18

@NewNan21
Did you read the op’s posts? She didn’t buy her toddler anything.

Paddington98 · 18/12/2023 08:42

NewNan21 · 18/12/2023 05:25

You were buying for your toddler you should have said no marshmallows. The staff wouldn’t know. Take responsibility for your own children. Always someone else’s fault, easy way out.

This is irrelevant. It is against government guidelines to give children marshmallows in an early years setting. Please educate yourself.

Calliopespa · 18/12/2023 08:58

They are a choking hazard BUT your LO is fine, and IME you get a handful ( if that!) of chances to raise things with the nursery before you become “that parent” and they start to eye roll and ignore you. A mother I know was forever “ just letting them know” about various things and then couldn’t understand why they ignored her when a genuine issue arose with her DD. I have always tended to save my chances to approach them for something that really mattered for my DCs .

Calliopespa · 18/12/2023 09:08

Calliopespa · 18/12/2023 08:58

They are a choking hazard BUT your LO is fine, and IME you get a handful ( if that!) of chances to raise things with the nursery before you become “that parent” and they start to eye roll and ignore you. A mother I know was forever “ just letting them know” about various things and then couldn’t understand why they ignored her when a genuine issue arose with her DD. I have always tended to save my chances to approach them for something that really mattered for my DCs .

… though I suppose there is a risk they repeat the marshmallow activity.

CecilyP · 18/12/2023 09:13

NewNan21 · 18/12/2023 05:25

You were buying for your toddler you should have said no marshmallows. The staff wouldn’t know. Take responsibility for your own children. Always someone else’s fault, easy way out.

What are you talking about? OP didn’t buy anything! The staff knew because they were the ones that bought the marshmallows. They should also have known they were inappropriate.

CecilyP · 18/12/2023 09:18

Calliopespa · 18/12/2023 08:58

They are a choking hazard BUT your LO is fine, and IME you get a handful ( if that!) of chances to raise things with the nursery before you become “that parent” and they start to eye roll and ignore you. A mother I know was forever “ just letting them know” about various things and then couldn’t understand why they ignored her when a genuine issue arose with her DD. I have always tended to save my chances to approach them for something that really mattered for my DCs .

OP’s DC is fine because OP knows the risk and the item wasn’t eaten. Not all parents would be so diligent. I think it’s fair enough to be ‘that parent’ if a nursery is going against government guidelines.

jannier · 18/12/2023 09:20

I'd mention to school that marshmallows along with other foods such as popcorn are on the not to be given guidance on choking for eyfs

Toddler given marshmallows at nursery
Calliopespa · 18/12/2023 09:35

CecilyP · 18/12/2023 09:18

OP’s DC is fine because OP knows the risk and the item wasn’t eaten. Not all parents would be so diligent. I think it’s fair enough to be ‘that parent’ if a nursery is going against government guidelines.

Show quote history

It’s absolutely fair enough if OP wants to say something- and, also in fairness, the comments and advice the woman I referred to kept giving were generally valid. It’s just that, disappointingly really, I have noticed through experience that helpful advice is often seen as telling them how to do their job, which then, ironically, can impact negatively on how willing they are to be responsive when an issue involves the DC of the “interactive” parent. That said - and I did post a follow up - on second thoughts there is a risk it wasn’t a one-off activity so it might be worth OP sticking her neck out if other children are going to be given them. I had originally thought of the activity as done and over with.

CecilyP · 18/12/2023 10:22

Yes, sorry,I cross-posted with your update. But I think there is every chance they’d repeat the activity with other groups of toddlers unless told of the risks.

TheShellBeach · 18/12/2023 10:30

Leafysuburb · 16/12/2023 06:16

I didn't realise how prolific marshmallow eating was.

Or how many people have choked on them.

I never knew. You'd think the nursery would have known though.

Lifeinlists · 18/12/2023 10:37

There's a famous American psychological test called The Marshmallow Test where small children are left in a room with a marshmallow on a plate. If they can resist eating it they get 2 marshmallows laterShock
It's to measure their ability to defer gratification and is an indicator of their development (supposedly).

Every time I see or hear reference to this bloody 'experiment ' I shout "don't give marshmallows to small children!!"

Nine times out of ten no harm will be done, but if your child is the tenth...

TooTender · 18/12/2023 10:39

YANBU, they’re a major choking risk. Definitely one to raise with the nursery so they know.

ShittingPeugeot · 18/12/2023 10:58

This is why games like chubby bunny are so dangerous. And for everyone saying cut them up, it makes NO DIFFERENCE.

When marshmallows, no matter the size or shape, become wet with saliva, they become incredibly sticky and if it got stuck in a windpipe it is pretty much impossible to budge. (see countless articles of adults and children dying, and one PP on here very nearly dying)

I would absolutely raise this OP, in a calm manner. DD Is 3, she has never, and will not for years, have marshmallows. Same with popcorn and all fruit is cut up. Grapes are cut just to quarters, blueberries are squashed. A child's windpipe is tiny. DD choked when she was a year old on something I never thought she could choke on (steamed broccoli) and it's the most soul destroying, frightening thing a parent can ever go through.

Just remove the risk altogether. The people on here downplaying all of this saying 'just teach your kid to bite' well no one is putting food in their mouth and swallowing it whole to choke. It's instinctual to bite. Try seeing your child choke, then come back try being so blasè.

NewNan21 · 18/12/2023 11:36

I was responding to the Petey who said she bouyit in a John Lewis place. Obviously the comment does not apply to a nurser setting

Bertiesmum3 · 18/12/2023 11:40

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What a load of rubbish!!
wind yer neck in!!!
every child is different, what one can eat is completely different to another!!

PastelHouses · 18/12/2023 11:43

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Jenzer01 · 18/12/2023 12:03

I'm shocked that anyone would say you're being unreasonable. These are a huge choking hazard and the creche should not have them anywhere near children

Bertiesmum3 · 18/12/2023 13:30

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No one is embarrassed 🤣🤣
nor defensive 🤣🤣🤣
when I had my children half of the nonsense that’s around now wasn’t even though of!
we used to be able to eat ice cream, pate, seafood, and all the other things that they now longer advise you to eat!!

PastelHouses · 18/12/2023 13:36

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brunettemic · 18/12/2023 13:47

Unless I’m missing something…he’s not eaten it so I don’t get the issue.