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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teaching Assistants excluded from class Christmas present

341 replies

LyricalBoudicca · 15/12/2023 16:35

Class representative organised the traditional Christmas whip-round to buy vouchers for the teacher with a % given to the rest of the school staff community to save teachers/staff being inundated with lots of gifts. This year they have announced that the 2 TAs in the class will not be included in the voucher gifting because they only work with 2 SEN children and not the rest of the class. AIBU in thinking this is a bit mean? Nobody has to take part of course but I feel rather uncomfortable about the whole situation.

OP posts:
CarolinaInTheMorning · 15/12/2023 18:40

itsgettingweird · 15/12/2023 17:46

I agree it's unkind. Everyone benefits from these pupils having a 1:1 TA

Exactly. And excluding the TAs is just another example of ableism.

Soontobe60 · 15/12/2023 18:40

FancyFanny · 15/12/2023 18:02

1:1 supports never just work with ONE child. The child is not isolated from the class- SEN children will work as part of a group as much as possible. Support staff are there to support the child to be part of the class, their role is to help the SEN child become independent and whenever possible staff will help other children, do preparation for lessons, support the teacher where needed, comfort upset children, do playground duty, help at lunchtimes, take out intervention groups that will include the SEN child alongside others who may also benefit from the help. Some people really do have no idea what working in a school is like!

Sadly this isn’t always the case. Some of the children in my school that need 1:1 support absolutely need an adult supporting them every second of the day. For that reason, we timetable more than 1 adult to support over the space of a day.

sprigatito · 15/12/2023 18:41

Lougle · 15/12/2023 16:41

I expect it's the same parents who think it's acceptable to leave the kids with SEN out of the class party.

I fear you are right. Revolting, but this is how some people's minds work.

marcopront · 15/12/2023 18:43

How are parents supposed to know what the TAs do?

craigth162 · 15/12/2023 18:45

marcopront · 15/12/2023 18:43

How are parents supposed to know what the TAs do?

By taking an interest and asking their child/teacher etc?

Nanny0gg · 15/12/2023 18:46

SpudleyLass · 15/12/2023 17:02

1-1s don't require SEN experience. Now I've never heard of them receiving a SEN bonus but maybe some do.

It's usually not much more than min wage but a lot of responsibility.

I don't know if they do in a specialist school but they don't in mainstream

Benibidibici · 15/12/2023 18:47

Those aren't TAs?

They are 1 2 1s and at our school they solely support 1 child, they aren't taking small groups. They'd usually be given a gift by the parents of the child they support.

KitsyWitsy · 15/12/2023 18:48

My son’s one to one was always helping out with the other kids too as she was always in the classroom. Definitely the TA’s shouldn’t be excluded.

Getoverit1965 · 15/12/2023 18:49

If the teaching assistants work 1 to 1 only with the SEN children or is for a reason. They need that level of support to be in the classroom and having them there let's the other children get along with less interruptions etc. They benefit the whole class regardless of who they are physically helping. I've never heard anything so miserable in my life as leaving them out of a gift.

Benibidibici · 15/12/2023 18:54

I literally didn't even find out there'd been a 1 to 1 in my DCs class last year.

The teacher mentioned them, my DC never spoke about them (both mentioned the class TA lots) and the school did not list the 1to1 as being with our class at all. We had zero way of knowing there was another adult in the room. I never even found out her name. She left when the severely disabled child she supported moved to special school.

Benibidibici · 15/12/2023 18:54

Teacher never mentioned them sorry

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 15/12/2023 18:58

That's really mean.

I did the whip round for my youngest's class. I'm splitting the pot straight down the middle between the teacher and TA.

Redmat · 15/12/2023 19:03

People assuming that the parents of the 1to 1 child will give a gift are wrong. The parents with children who need extra help. are the same as all parents. Some will think of it, others will not have the resources ,and for others it won't even enter their heads!
Being left out of a class gift is such a kick in the teeth. How hurtful and unkind.

WingingItSince1973 · 15/12/2023 19:04

My sis in law is a sen TA but she also looks after breakfast club and organises a lot of activities for the whole class not just her 1:1. She puts a lot of effort into the school as the school expect more of her than just being with her child. She's exhausted at the end of each term. She even sources alot of the classroom equipment in her own time which benefits all the children. TAs get overlooked far too often.

Bunnybear42 · 15/12/2023 19:05

As a parent who's eldest daughter had a 1:1 teaching assistant since reception (she's now doing her a levels) I can tell you all of the TAs she has had have always helped and supported other children, particularly ones who needed a bit of extra support but didn't have a ECHP plan. We always bought them presents individually as support was invaluable, however many other children benefited from extra intervention in English and maths , reading help etc so I agree with OP should absolutely be included in class gifts particularly due to the low wage they receive for such hard work and dedication!!

USSDefiant · 15/12/2023 19:05

My child has a 1:1 LSA. I see all the class kids interact and chat/giggle with the LSAs all the time. The kids value them and she does stuff with them (as part of supporting my kid). However, throughout years they are always excluded from any gift giving basis they only "help" my child and this is part of reason i left the Whatsapp group for the class. I make sure they get as much as class teacher (if not more), but am lucky that I can do so.

GRex · 15/12/2023 19:10

The whole "1-1 parents should get" is ludicrous, those parents give to the teacher as well. Besides which, it's just not in the spirit of Christmas giving is it? The whole point of giving as a class is so one person can give £50 and another 50p, but the adults around them are all thanked equally by all the children.

Hipponimous · 15/12/2023 19:12

My daughter (primary) has a 1:1. She gets full time 1:1 support - but ofcourse 'her' ta still supports the rest of the class. And this has been the case with all her TAs through her schooling - I can't imagine how it would work otherwise?? My child doesn't just sit in a corner with her ta on her own 😅 she is a full member of the class and she and her ta are involved in everything. I always contribute to the class gift and for the first couple of years I used to say to the other parents that I didn't mind being responsible for that TA's gift if they preferred but they never took me up on it and now I have stopped offering - the ta deserves to be treated like other classroom staff. I do usually buy a token extra myself but it's only a token as that's all I can afford.

MissingMoominMamma · 15/12/2023 19:12

I’m employed as a 1-1 with a child. Ask any of the children in our class and they would list me as one of the staff who help them.

TurquoiseDress · 15/12/2023 19:15

In our year 1 class we did a whip round and bought gifts for the teacher and the TA

In one of the other year 1 classes there is a 1 to 1 TA for one of the pupils, as far as I know they bought gifts for the teacher and main class TA but not the 1 to 1 TA- their logic is that the parents would buy them something directly

CarolinaInTheMorning · 15/12/2023 19:16

Getoverit1965 · 15/12/2023 18:49

If the teaching assistants work 1 to 1 only with the SEN children or is for a reason. They need that level of support to be in the classroom and having them there let's the other children get along with less interruptions etc. They benefit the whole class regardless of who they are physically helping. I've never heard anything so miserable in my life as leaving them out of a gift.

Exactly. It's immaterial whether the TAs help other children. They are there to make learning more accessible for the pupils they support and which also benefits the entire group. It's an important aspect of the social model of disability: to remove barriers so that all can participate.

NameChange30 · 15/12/2023 19:28

I voted YANBU and I'm glad to read that the majority agree.

My DC is in Y2 and there has been one TA in each class so far, we have met the TAs because they're always at the classroom door with the teacher when we collect, and DC talks about them a lot. So I have always done cards and presents for the TA as well as the teacher. I organised collective gifts at the end of last year - gift vouchers of equal amounts for the teacher and TA.

There have been no 1-2-1 TA's in my child's class, but if there were, I would definitely have included them when organising a collective gift. With a contribution of £10 per child, if there are 30 in the class that's £300, which is plenty to share between a teacher and 2 TAs, that's £100 each or £150 for teacher and £75 for TAs if you must differentiate.

Ihatemondaymorning · 15/12/2023 19:31

The assumption that every school use a child’s dedicated 1-1 as classroom help etc is so wrong.
not every school goes against what a child EHCP says. If a child here needs a 1-1 for 32.5 hours a week that is exactly what they get.

GRex · 15/12/2023 19:32

TurquoiseDress · 15/12/2023 19:15

In our year 1 class we did a whip round and bought gifts for the teacher and the TA

In one of the other year 1 classes there is a 1 to 1 TA for one of the pupils, as far as I know they bought gifts for the teacher and main class TA but not the 1 to 1 TA- their logic is that the parents would buy them something directly

So the parents are to contribute for the 1-1 while 29 other parents contribute say £5 for the teacher and shared TA. That's £72.50 for the teacher, £72.50 for shared TA, and how much for the 1-1? You think the parents of the child with additional needs should pay £72.50, only because their child has additional needs, just to ensure that a low wage worker gets a fair Xmas gift?

The charitable version of why you think this is that you didn't get the help you clearly needed at school with maths from a decent TA.

UrsulaBelle · 15/12/2023 19:34

I was a 1:1 TA with a boy for 4 years. His parents didn’t want the rest of the class to know I was ‘his’ TA so it was never mentioned. I always worked with whatever group he was in or with other children if the teacher was working with his group. I was the only TA with the class in the afternoons. I helped with trips, performances etc. After 4 years I knew his class really well. I got a handful of gifts compared to the teacher and morning class TA. It was a bit galling, when I had spent more time with those children than any other member of staff, but I guess they thought I was ‘just the 1:1.’