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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
XelaM · 15/12/2023 01:42

Let her go. Of course she can catch up. Didn't kids miss nearly two years of school during covid? Why are three weeks now so crucial?

XelaM · 15/12/2023 01:42

In the beginning of the year they go over last year's stuff anyway.

sashh · 15/12/2023 02:00

Could they go before the summer holiday? Time off at the end of term is usually less damaging than at the start.

randomstress · 15/12/2023 02:38

XelaM · 15/12/2023 01:42

Let her go. Of course she can catch up. Didn't kids miss nearly two years of school during covid? Why are three weeks now so crucial?

Well partly because all the other dc won't have that time off and exceptions won't be made when grading.
Going to Disney is a much less once in a lifetime experience than sitting your GCSES.

Commonsense22 · 15/12/2023 02:56

You have been put in a difficult situation.

But now, if you don't let you go, she will resent you for life. It's the kind of grudge she would bring up 20 years later.
If she sits in school those three weeks, she will be unfocused, resentful... Not just for three weeks but the whole year and beyond.

A three week trip is a massive opportunity. As for whether it will impact her GCSEs... A child with a happy and grateful heart will put in extra effort. A child who feels unfairly treated will struggle with learning even if they try.
You have no choice : the "damage" is already done. Ask her to turn it into a positive and say you expect extra hard work and focus through the year.

Mostlyoblivious · 15/12/2023 03:25

She really will struggle to catch up properly having missed the first theee weeks of year 11 - you hit the ground running that year - it’s irresponsible to let her go that particular year. She’ll break early for the summer after her exams - can they not all go then when it’s still not summer hols pricing?

Nandocushion · 15/12/2023 05:29

BrimfulOfMash · 14/12/2023 22:38

They are doing 10 days at Disney and then the rest of it they spend travelling elsewhere ( not sure of the plans yet) so it won't be 3 whole weeks at Disney.

At 14 she is old enough to come back on a plane on her own. She doesn’t have to be off for a whole 3 weeks.

This. She can do the Disney part and then fly home alone. But TBF three hours in Florida is too much for me, can't stand the swamp.

GreyhpundGirl · 15/12/2023 05:29

XelaM · 15/12/2023 01:42

In the beginning of the year they go over last year's stuff anyway.

I've never done this in 23 years, and neither has any colleague I know. I've got curriculum to teach— the current GCSEs are very content heavy so don't have time for this even if I wanted to..

Shakeylegs · 15/12/2023 07:16

Maireas · 14/12/2023 21:58

Cross post! Exactly. You'd think it was some fascinating trip to somewhere culturally enriching that she would never be able to go to again!

Show quote history

it’s not even so much the ‘culturally enriching’ bit (or lack of it) that makes this idea so CF-ish in my view. Being away from home for three weeks in a different country is somewhat enriching even if it’s Disney!

The problem for me is describing this as somehow a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity when it obviously is not. Nobody’s dying, nor is this some kind of one-off or very rare trip. It’s not even uniquely cheap. Just postpone it for exactly one year!

A lot of people call Disney ‘once in a lifetime’ but that’s because they only go once because it’s so bloody expensive (not that I’m bitter…). It’s not because the only time you can go is the first three weeks of Y10.

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 07:19

Banrion · 15/12/2023 00:13

I'm a teacher. Absolutely let her go. It's nearly 2 weeks of travel outside of Disney. Imagine the experiences she'll have which in itself is an education. Of course she'll catch up on what she misses in 3 weeks. You only live once.

What age group do you teach?

Runaway1 · 15/12/2023 07:22

Will she be Year 11? Just no. If Year 10, I’d also be very concerned and certainly wouldn’t want her to miss 3 full weeks. I think this might be an opportunity to talk to her and get her to prioritise exam results now, then think about a trip to Florida in the future.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 15/12/2023 07:27

At 14 she'll be at the start of Y10 right?
Start of GCSE courses. It's a very intense, fast moving time, lots of new stuff to understand about GCSEs assessments/coursework etc and new curriculum teaching. In 3 weeks she may well even miss some (non examined ) assessments.

No, I wouldn't let her go.

TotteringByRosie · 15/12/2023 07:28

BrightLightTonight · 14/12/2023 20:48

Sorry, but going to a massive fun fair is not “once in a life time”. Something like tracking lions in the Serengeti, is “once in a life time”. You need to sort priorities and 3 weeks off school for a roller coaster ride, when it will still be there in 20 years …….

I agree completely.

InflatableSanta · 15/12/2023 07:44

LaurieStrode · 15/12/2023 01:23

I'm referring to Florida overall.

Disney is mindless commercial schlock. Florida is toxic.

The notion of letting a young girl miss nearly a month of school to experience either is madness. Prioritizing this crap over education and culture is why some families never manage upward mobility. Personally i would aspire to more for my children.

I love education, I'm very academic and a straight A student. I encourage reading and learning at home pay for tutors if my children need support or want an extra push on a subject.

I loathe the idea of Florida /Disney

But I don't know why we are all meant to pretend like academic/career success has such an influence on future wealth. The bonkers housing market means that a far greater predictor is the lottery of birth/how much she stands to inherit.

There are fairly uneducated parents at my children's school who already know their children own whole properties in their names or are likely to in the near future... Is it any wonder they whip them out for holidays whenever they feel like it.....

InflatableSanta · 15/12/2023 07:49

There's another thread on here half of which is people saying how they worked hard at school and careers but missed the boat for the housing ladder and are priced out. And the other half are people on very average to low paid jobs who bought "at the right time" and made vast sums. Is it any wonder people are disengaged and demotivated?

Maireas · 15/12/2023 07:50

It's not just about wealth. It's about opportunity.
These are critical school years, and society is ever more competitive and polarised. You need plentiful arrows in your quiver.

LittleMonks11 · 15/12/2023 07:55

It's not a tough one OP. You need to step up and not be bullied into it. It's too important to miss three weeks of the start of year 11. Make a plan to set aside some money each month and go when you can in the holidays. Even for a week at October half term in 2025 or something. I think it was really off of your ex SIL to get your daughter to ask you.

One PP said 'school isn't everything'. Well neither the fuck is Disneyland.

LittleMonks11 · 15/12/2023 07:59

Commonsense22 · 15/12/2023 02:56

You have been put in a difficult situation.

But now, if you don't let you go, she will resent you for life. It's the kind of grudge she would bring up 20 years later.
If she sits in school those three weeks, she will be unfocused, resentful... Not just for three weeks but the whole year and beyond.

A three week trip is a massive opportunity. As for whether it will impact her GCSEs... A child with a happy and grateful heart will put in extra effort. A child who feels unfairly treated will struggle with learning even if they try.
You have no choice : the "damage" is already done. Ask her to turn it into a positive and say you expect extra hard work and focus through the year.

Bollocks

Original poster
XMissPlacedX · 15/12/2023 08:26

Some posters have massively let themselves down with the swearing and nastiness. Absolutely no need for it. Give your heads a wobble.

Thankyou to all that were able to give me some food for thought. I think I will allow her to go for the 10 days at Disney and have her fly back early.

Thanks again Smile

OP posts:
Belfastchild1 · 15/12/2023 08:37

Any other age & school year I’d say go for it but not in that GCSE year. My daughter is the same age and due to it being such an important school year isn’t coming with us for 1 week abroad for a family wedding in sept. If they go so often just wait til the next trip.

Whatstheword21 · 15/12/2023 08:38

Get her.m a private tutor in the summer holidays to make up for the 3 weeks missed and just accept the fine from school - going to be expensive for you either way!

Mum2three63 · 15/12/2023 08:44

Will she be going into year 11, start of GCSE work? Then no...if they go every few years she can go after she's finished education. Also will you have the funds to pay the fine?

topshotta · 15/12/2023 08:47

Do it!! They'll just be going over stuff she already knows at school she can do extra revision when she gets home

Blue0987 · 15/12/2023 08:48

If it was a real educational trip (art cities it Italy, exploring remote villages in Himalayas, ecology trip in Bali, etc but Disneyworld… ?!?!? No, sorry! (I even doubt that a 14 year old will enjoy Disney world)

LittleMonks11 · 15/12/2023 08:52

Apologies for swearing OP. But I think you already knew what you were going to do. I hope she enjoys the trip and does well in her GCSEs.