Where do you stand on sending gifts direct & unwrapped?

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 2023-12-14T19:43:54+00:00

Myself and DSIS disagree on this. I think if you're sending presents to family members (we only send to close family, think parents, sibling and two niece/nephews), you should wrap them before posting. The past couple of years my sister (and now my Mum) have gotten in the habit of sending presents for mine and my daughter's birthday and Christmas direct from the retailer unwrapped and often with receipt. It's then on me to wrap and put under tree or hand out on birthday with a tag saying from Aunty X. Keep me honest here, am I being unreasonable for finding this a bit impersonal? I'm grateful for the gift for me and DCs, and DSIS says it saves on postage but I find it a bit naff to open an Amazon box with a preloved book and a receipt. I never know when they're coming & we also order from Amazon to intercept & wrap the box. YABU - sending direct and expecting recipient to wrap and dole out is fine. YANBU - it's impersonal

KrisAkabusi · 14/12/2023 19:46

What's the point in transporting a gift twice? Once to you to wrap, and then off again to the recipient. It's a ridiculous waste of resources and money.

CanaryCanary · 14/12/2023 19:46

in our family, if you’re sending an unwrapped gift direct from the retailer you add something like “for Xmas” to the name on the address, so the recipient knows it’s a gift, not something they ordered. Then they just stick the box itself under the tree. Might be a sensible compromise?

Leeds2 · 14/12/2023 19:46

I compromise with my three great-nephews, and send from Amazon but pay for gift wrapping. This is, I believe, a gift bag with label. Think it is about £3, so cheaper than it would to have the gift sent to me and for me to wrap it and pay for postage.

bunniesandguineapigs · 14/12/2023 19:47

I don't like doing it, but after having a parcel go missing last year and it being a royal pain in the arse to get the money back from Parcelforce (and I didn't get it all, there were several things in one parcel and some I hadn't kept the receipts for as bought months before Christmas and not expensive individually), and postage getting more expensive, I have this year.

Original poster

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 14/12/2023 19:51

CanaryCanary · 14/12/2023 19:46

in our family, if you’re sending an unwrapped gift direct from the retailer you add something like “for Xmas” to the name on the address, so the recipient knows it’s a gift, not something they ordered. Then they just stick the box itself under the tree. Might be a sensible compromise?

Good idea, then we could just wrap the package and chuck it under the tree. Thank you

OP posts:

Rudolphtherednoseddog · 14/12/2023 19:51

I find it annoying too, especially when DH whole family does this.

So I bought a big set of reusable gift bags, and I keep any that come from Amazon etc. Stick the present in a bag, it gets “unwrapped”, I keep the bag and the tag for next time. We’re on about the sixth year of the same bags and tags from one Aunt and Uncle. It still irks me, but at least I’m not spending hours with tape and paper.

Original poster

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 14/12/2023 19:53

Rudolphtherednoseddog · 14/12/2023 19:51

I find it annoying too, especially when DH whole family does this.

So I bought a big set of reusable gift bags, and I keep any that come from Amazon etc. Stick the present in a bag, it gets “unwrapped”, I keep the bag and the tag for next time. We’re on about the sixth year of the same bags and tags from one Aunt and Uncle. It still irks me, but at least I’m not spending hours with tape and paper.

Good idea!

Irk is the right word!

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PeloMom · 14/12/2023 19:54

Sure it’d be nice to be wrapped but unwrapped doesn’t bother me at all. Our LO gets gifts from lots of people who don’t live in our city and I fully expect to be the one to wrap them. I very much appreciate people sending the gifts and have no issue wrapping them (with a glass of wine+netflix of course 🤣)

Whataretheodds · 14/12/2023 19:57

If I order directly I always pay for gift wrapping and send it addressed to my name at their address, and let them know.

The one exception was when gift wrapping wasn't and option for some reason. I also ordered a big gift bag which arrived at the same time and warned the parent so they could put the unwrapped present in the gift bag.

But I agree it's cheeky to expect the recipient or recipient's parent to sort the wrapping and tagging.

GettingStuffed · 14/12/2023 19:58

We send unwrapped to people we won't see, but not to the recipient for instance DS's goes to his wife and they reciprocate

Original poster

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 14/12/2023 19:59

I just think we only see each other a couple of times a year, there's not loads of us. It's nice to make a bit of an effort rather than sitting there with your Amazon account open and a list for 10 minutes. Why not wrap a present? I know we are the only ones DSIS has to post to this year

DM sent an M&S package this am and I opened it to find a necklace with price on. She'd already given us Christmas presents so I popped a message to be told to "wrap it up and put it under the tree for myself".

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ConflictedCheetah · 14/12/2023 20:00

My family are all in Ireland so I but direct and have them shipped nao expensive otherwise and the postal delays are also avoided.
If there's a gift wrap option I'll use it. My siblings do the same sending direct to me. I also often try and buy from small Irish businesses so no point in shipping to me in the UK and then back again.

Auntieobem · 14/12/2023 20:01

Until now I've ordered gifts to be delivered to me, wrapped them, repackaged them and posted back. It's nonsense. It takes more time, adds lots of travel miles, and costs a fortune. Sending direct from retailer makes sense.

Bornonsunday · 14/12/2023 20:02

Annoys me too. I have to come up with presents ideas for all our kids from my husband's family (takes ages to think of stuff) and then wrap the presents after they come from Amazon. Adds loads of work for me - although dh does usually do a lot of the wrapping.

Original poster

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 14/12/2023 20:02

Whataretheodds · 14/12/2023 19:57

If I order directly I always pay for gift wrapping and send it addressed to my name at their address, and let them know.

The one exception was when gift wrapping wasn't and option for some reason. I also ordered a big gift bag which arrived at the same time and warned the parent so they could put the unwrapped present in the gift bag.

But I agree it's cheeky to expect the recipient or recipient's parent to sort the wrapping and tagging.

At least you're trying to do something to make it nice.

For me, it's a small way Christmas and birthdays have become transactional and we all just tell each other what we want. That's fine but the least we can do to make it personal is to wrap the present or what's the point giving at all?

We'd save money and effort not buying for each other and buying the thing we wanted for ourselves without the bullshit!

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Fulshaw · 14/12/2023 20:05

I get the gift delivered to me, wrap it, add the card if it’s a birthday and send them on. Often in the same box.

I know it’s ridiculous but I just like to make the effort.

Brendabigbaps · 14/12/2023 20:06

My MIL does this, I think it’s rude and ignorant. She has 3-4 gifts to wrap, I have many many more for various people.
it’s the same a people who are late, they couldn’t give a damn about my time!

hard luck if your unorganised, that’s your issue, not mine.

my FIL is even worse tho, we have to buy his gifts for his granddaughter and get the money back along with the wrapping.

people who do this are selfish

Original poster

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 14/12/2023 20:31

Fulshaw · 14/12/2023 20:05

I get the gift delivered to me, wrap it, add the card if it’s a birthday and send them on. Often in the same box.

I know it’s ridiculous but I just like to make the effort.

That's it - it's about effort. I know I only have to send gifts to parents and DSIS and family because they live in different cities. It's additional postage cost but it's not a ridiculous amount because it's not like I have to send to 5+ addresses.

With old school friends, I tend to take a gift when I see them rather than specifically for birthday and Christmas. With friends and family if I see something they'll like I just pick it up and save it for the next time I see them.

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Biznatch · 14/12/2023 20:36

It's kind of impersonal but it costs a fortune to post stuff nowadays.
Better than what I get from relatives where they just put money in my account and expect me to choose, buy and wrap presents from them to my DC - that's impersonal.

Precipice · 14/12/2023 20:37

LiarLiarKnickersAblaze · 14/12/2023 19:51

Good idea, then we could just wrap the package and chuck it under the tree. Thank you

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Why wrap it again? It's already got packaging around it. Wrapping it again is wasteful. You can decorate the cardboard if you want to make it prettier.

Mumteedum · 14/12/2023 22:11

YANBU. My sil does this and I hate it. She never tells me she's sent something. Never gets it wrapped. And she does it for me, if they remember, and my ds.

I have opened both parcels this last week, assuming it's stuff I've ordered (for other people, because I will wrap them and make it nice).

It's just not the spirit really. You ask what someone wants, then just click and send. We might as well not bother and just buy ourselves things.

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/12/2023 22:23

I would always wrap before sending, so that the recipient sees it's a Christmas gift and it doesn't spoil the Christmas Day surprise.

If I'm ordering from eg Amazon and I wasn't seeing the person before Christmas, I'd send it direct but addressed to the other person in the household with a separate request to them to gift wrap when it arrived; or I would get Amazon to gift wrap.

What I wouldn't do is send it direct to the person unwrapped.

RobertaFirmino · 14/12/2023 22:32

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. People don't need to waste paper on me, it is the thought that counts. I'd always wrap a present for a DC though, unwrapping a gift is half the fun when you're little.

DustyMaiden · 14/12/2023 22:37

I purchased a very expensive track suit for my GS had it delivered to me and wrapped and posted it . It then got lost in the post and post office gave me £20.
min future I shall sent straight from retailers.

Itmwtoty · 14/12/2023 22:45

I'm going to guess you have more time on your hands? If it helps by ordering, wrapping and then sending you are doubling the carbon footprint. Just send it direct and make it easier for everyone.

Having said this and just having read other responses , I was assuming this was for kids.Whilst this is the case for children's presents, I do agree that if you are sending for an adult you should either send to the other adult in the household, or if that's not possible then yes, that's the point where you should be really looking for somewhere that can gift wrap for you before sending