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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would walk out of a job?

29 replies

mrlistersgelfbride · 14/12/2023 10:59

So I posted yesterday about how to keep cool at work. Thank you for the suggestions.

I'm in a new job. I'm very experience in my field however something's happened this morning and I've basically messed up...ruined something that cost £1000. I should be able to do this work easily. But different systems here and I haven't used this particularly item before (I can't go into details as outing).
I don't know how to fix it.
I'm worried the boss will be disappointed. I've already told her but not heard back (via email).
I've let my team down.

The office I work in is cliquey, people loud and chatty but I'm quiet. I am trying to make friends but I've only been here two months. I'm a reserved person by nature.

I miss my old job. I was there 10 years . I was good at it.
I've been having anxiety and sleepless nights in this new role. Have a headache now. I want to eat and drink but feel too stressed.

The job is not even that important or well paid ( obviously though I need the money). I'm so close to thinking, what is the point and just walking out .
I don't think they'd even notice!

Has anyone ever this? It is ever an appropriate thing to do?

OP posts:
GoonDog · 14/12/2023 11:18

I've walked out before.
No it wasn't professional, and yes I regret my actions, but I was contracting, the company were taking the piss and although I'd tried to resolve issues, they weren't interested. I was increasingly unhappy, worried and not sleeping well because of it.
I did what I had to, for me.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/12/2023 11:21

I have always wanted to make a dramatic speech and walk out of a job, slamming the door behind me, like they do on TV.

Sadly in real life you have to think about references and your next job, so I have never been able to fulfil my dream 😥

Hellenika · 14/12/2023 11:22

Were you adequately trained on this new item/system? If not the £1k loss is their fault, not yours. Even if they start disciplinary, you are better off applying for new jobs and not resigning until just before the first disciplinary meeting.

Your colleagues may not be nice, but the only person you need to keep happy is your line manager. See how they react before making any decisions.

Original poster
mrlistersgelfbride · 14/12/2023 11:22

Sorry to hear you went through that but it sounds like it's the best decision for you.
When you are worried and not sleeping well you wonder if it's worth it.
I have a DD and I find I've no patience to play with her in evenings as I'm worried about work

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/12/2023 11:23

Also I have mainly worked in hospitals and all the doors are fire doors which can't slam, half of them require security passes and I would have to march through about 18 sets before I finally shuffled through the giant rotating door at the front. So basically there is no possibility of a dramatic exit.

Original poster
mrlistersgelfbride · 14/12/2023 11:23

@Hellenika Not exactly trained but it's something I should be able to do easily anyway with my prior experience.
I've sent my boss at email, but at the moment I'm hiding in the toilet, nervous to walk past her office.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrlistersgelfbride · 14/12/2023 11:24

@TheYearOfSmallThings Haha 😂 sounds familiar

OP posts:
Tortiemiaw · 14/12/2023 11:25

I've done it twice. Both times from awful corrupt charities. It was heartbreaking both times but also very depressing that charities work this way and there is no accountability. First time I was 'silenced' with a payoff. The second time, I was ignored and belittled by the staff and trustees, and my mental health couldn't manage taking it any further.
Not the answer you want, but yes, it can be done.

Alltheshoes74 · 14/12/2023 11:25

Yes walked out of a job once. I’d been sold a job working for a great company, leading a team of 4 - turned up on the first day to find it was basically a sole charge role offering advise to the other 3. I’d been working as a strategic manager of 8 for the previous year. Realised on the first day it was an absolute farce despite being great money and called the agency as I left to tell them I wasn’t going back. Landed the job of my dreams a few weeks later.

TheChosenTwo · 14/12/2023 11:25

I’ve done it as a teenager when I was being groped at work 🤢
But never as an adult. Not had enough reason to. My last job was beginning to defeat me and ruin my health so I gave my notice and found a new job. Handed my notice in first but I knew financially I was in a position to be able to do that and we weren’t reliant on my income to pay bills.
Can you afford to potentially be unemployed for any time at all? If so, hand your notice in and leave.
Unless someone has been awful to you I don’t think it’s wise to just walk out, you may rely on them for a reference.

billyt · 14/12/2023 11:25

Yes, have done.

You need to do what's best for you.

Ghostlyglow · 14/12/2023 11:26

I've walked out of a job. It took literally years to build up to it but I never regretted it and only wished I'd done it sooner

YeahIsaidit · 14/12/2023 11:28

I'm sorry you're having a rough time in your new job and it isn't going the way that you'd hoped. However I don't think ruining an expensive "thing" and then walking out would be a particularly good thing to do

KissTheRains · 14/12/2023 11:30

You have to decide.

Is your mental health and happiness worth selling for the wage you're getting?
Is your limited time on earth worth mortgaging for the company?

It sounds like you'd say no to both those question.

furtivetussling · 14/12/2023 11:30

I've done it twice. Both, funnily enough, for much the same reason. A monstrous bitch of a boss.

DuvetCovers · 14/12/2023 11:31

You've done the right thing by telling your boss promptly.

Don't walk out. Let this current issue settle- people make mistakes, it's not the end of the world. Then decide whether this is actually the job for you or whether you want to rethink. Don't make a decision about the job while you're so stressed about the mistake that you're hiding in the loo.

If you do decide it's not the right role, would you consider going back to your old job?

Parentswriting · 14/12/2023 11:32

I walked out of a call centre job a couple of years ago after 3 months when the manager failed to help me with a customer every time I asked. The last time the red mist defended, I gathered my belongings, walked out the door with my last statement to the aforementioned manager before I slammed it shut was 'how the fuck do you manage to stand up all day when you don't have a spine'

I was lucky enough to have savings to see me through to finding a new job and just explained at my next interview that I left due to lack of support and I'd rather they didn't contact them for a reference!

Been in this job for 12 years so it's not done me any harm but I wouldn't recommend it.

Just speak with your boss, be honest snd hold your hands up.

Best wishes x

NonPlayerCharacter · 14/12/2023 11:33

Yes, but I was aware of how fortunate I was to be able to do it and it was because of shitty management rather than because I fucked up - which everybody does at some point. I would have loved to when I was younger but it wasn't an option then.

Don't do anything until you hear back from your boss. She may surprise you.

Pamcakey · 14/12/2023 11:37

I have once.
I started a job too soon after a traumatic bereavement and my MH was in tatters.
Nothing wrong with the job apart from being a bit of a sideways step for me.
On the third day of driving there in floods of tears I just went home again.

I did have the back up of knowing I had a transfer in progress from my previous role (moved 200 miles) coming up in a few months time so I took some time out to properly recover then started there.

I wouldn’t walk out over this without seeing their response.

ActDottie · 14/12/2023 12:01

I wouldn’t walk out no, but I’d potentially hand in my notice and work my notice period this early on in a job if I knew it wasn’t for me.

Guttedme · 14/12/2023 13:21

Once took a receptionist job in a GP surgery which I tried many times to get into, after realising the job involved a hell of a lot more then taking back 2 back calls which as the new person you were expected to handle, the people just weren't my people. It would have taken a long time to settle if I ever did and I'm not sure I could accept all the unpaid hours that went with it without resent. It the sort of workplace where you had to pitch up 30 minutes before starting and couldn't leave at the contracted time if appointments where still going on because it was the receptionist's job to lock up.....

Ended up having the most saddest dream that I should ask my boss for old job back when going into 2nd week of new job. Ironically the next day, the old employer sent me a message as they were desperately short handed and thank the lord I left working my notice and not burning bridges. No matter what happens I'll always be glad I followed that dreams message. Absolutely no regrets.

Week 3 I fell ill anyway, it was a total call in sick moment which I'd have been nervous about in any event (and the lightbulb moment if I was really gp receptionist material - the answer was no) and fortunately the contract of employment with the surgery allowed no notice to be worked under the first month. Spent a week recovering and then returned to old job.

I do get we shouldn't burn bridges but when you know the industry is not for you and you aren't going to be asking for any reference, then you must do what you feel is right.

bellsandwhistles333 · 14/12/2023 13:29

Yep I've walked out on lunch 6 days in.
It was an awful job though, small business using young adults and taking advantage, I was lucky enough to have more self worth and good parents that told me to get the hell out!

lovelysmile · 14/12/2023 13:39

I have walked out of a job, and for good reason.

but in relation to your circumstances can I check something with you?

We had a new starter, who was going to leg it out the door after a few months. She messaged me that she has messed up a part of the job and she was very worried. Like you she was from a work place where she had been there 10 years and knew everything about anything in that role - so was being super hard on herself and not knowing anything combined with making mistakes (which is part of learning) added to her overwhelming feeling of being new and awkward.

We had a discussion and confirmed she didn't hate the people or the office itself. It was that she hated not being sure of herself and it nearly led her to talking herself out of the job.

Shes great at her job, she just needed to cut herself some slack.

VeronicaBeccabunga · 14/12/2023 13:41

Yep, I walked out of a job I'd been doing for around 5 years.
The light gradually dawned that my immediate boss was a liar who was manipulative and gaslighting and that senior management were divided, weak and fairly useless.
I was in the fortunate position of not 'needing' to work but after the initial euphoria of escaping I did have a very low period of guilt and worrying that it wasn't as bad as I had thought.
Long term: recalling it all make me squirm, but it was the right thing to do.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 13:42

Only once. But it was only ever meant to be a stop gap job. It was agency work in a pet food factory, unfortunately I didn’t speak the language used by the supervisors..