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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should pay?

57 replies

Snowange98 · 14/12/2023 00:45

I’ve been meeting up with my ex and talking things through but the other day we got into an argument. He recently had knee surgery and had metal plates in and has crutches to help get around. We were sat in my car and were arguing over something and I was staying calm but he loses his temper quickly. All of a sudden he banged his crutches into my windscreen and it caused quite a bad crack down the passenger side. I do have insurance that covers my windscreen but my excess is around £80 for this that I have to pay for a full new windscreen as it reduces my visibility and wouldn’t be legal to drive around with it like that. He’s refusing to pay or help towards this cost. Basically just told me on a text no won’t be paying. Aibu to think he should? I’m just so upset that this has happened.

OP posts:
OwOwHolyCow · 14/12/2023 00:49

Of course he should pay. However, you can’t force him to hand over the cash. You should definitely keep him as an ex though and it sounds like it would be wisest to keep your distance tbh.

Grimchmas · 14/12/2023 00:49

Sod the £80, that's immaterial. You HAVE decided that it's an utterly shit idea to even stay in touch with him, let alone consider getting back into a relationship with him, haven't you?!

Tinkerbyebye · 14/12/2023 00:51

Yes he should pay, but he’s already said he is not going to

so stop talking to him or engaging with him

theduchessofspork · 14/12/2023 00:52

Of course he should

Unfortunately it appears he is a selfish arsehole, but I presume that’s why he’s an ex

You do sound like you are thinking of taking him back though - please don’t - no one needs a partner that smashes up their stuff, and violence to property can quite easily escalate to violence to people

suki1964 · 14/12/2023 00:52

Grimchmas · 14/12/2023 00:49

Sod the £80, that's immaterial. You HAVE decided that it's an utterly shit idea to even stay in touch with him, let alone consider getting back into a relationship with him, haven't you?!

I have to agree with this, £80 is worth the spend if it mean you have this man out of your life

LaurieStrode · 14/12/2023 00:52

Why are you with this asshole???

MariaLuna · 14/12/2023 00:55

What a creep. Vandalising your car.

It will be you next if you keep him in your life.

Run Forrest Run!

(If you don't know the film, it means run the fuck away from people who would harm you).

TomatoSandwiches · 14/12/2023 00:55

Of course he should pay but he won't because he's a cunt so why are you even entertaining the idea of ever seeing his face again let alone allowing him a seat in your car.
Give you head a wobble.

MariaLuna · 14/12/2023 00:58

Oh, and don't get the car fixed, exchange it for one he won't know is yours.

It will cost you but better than a violent man in your life. Been there, got the t-shirt.

MintJulia · 14/12/2023 00:59

Definitely get rid of this creep.

It'll be worth the £80 just to show him the door.

MyopicBunny · 14/12/2023 01:03

I would think that this is criminal damage and as such you can report it to the police. I would threaten him with that.

It's all very well people saying pay £80 to get him out of your life - sorry, what?? £80 is a lot of money to some people and why should this a-hole get away with it?

justanothermanicmonday1 · 14/12/2023 01:03

I'd pay him the £80 to never text me again 🤣

JustCuriousASHP · 14/12/2023 01:09

MyopicBunny · 14/12/2023 01:03

I would think that this is criminal damage and as such you can report it to the police. I would threaten him with that.

It's all very well people saying pay £80 to get him out of your life - sorry, what?? £80 is a lot of money to some people and why should this a-hole get away with it?

He could argue it was an accident and not criminal. OP has no way to force him to pay, even a Small Claims court judgement is unlikely to make a difference and would cost. I agree £80 is a lot of money but at least she'll be shot of this wankbadger.

PossumintheHouse · 14/12/2023 01:14

It cost you £80 to learn what an utter arsehole this selfish, ill-tempered wanker is. Some people would say that’s a bargain.
Block him. STOP meeting him.

Selenitetower · 14/12/2023 01:26

Of course he should pay, but he probably won’t. You need to go NC with him but. If you’re driving him around and he’s starting arguments with you in your car and damaging your property he’s clearly a giant flog and should be left to his own devices.

Fionaville · 14/12/2023 01:30

Of course he should pay, but hes not going to. Its like he knows he can treat you like crap and you'll keep going back for more. You should never speak to him again. You're going to have to pay the £80. Take it as a lesson learned to stay away from this man!

TwoMoreBoxesJayne · 14/12/2023 01:42

Why are you asking? Surely you know the answer? The question isn't should he pay it should be should you dump him. The answer is yes you should.

caringcarer · 14/12/2023 02:29

Get your windscreen fixed and block him out of your life. He's a loser.

MyopicBunny · 14/12/2023 09:14

He could argue it was an accident and not criminal. OP has no way to force him to pay, even a Small Claims court judgement is unlikely to make a difference and would cost. I agree £80 is a lot of money but at least she'll be shot of this wankbadger.

Windscreens are very hard to break by accident. Personally, I would report this to the police. However, it sounds as if the OP is being too soft on him and won't do this.

Reporting to police doesn't have anything to do with small claims court, which would be a waste of time for £80 as you rightly say.

tescocreditcard · 14/12/2023 09:47

Yes he should pay.

HardcoreLadyType · 14/12/2023 09:52

What do you need to talk through with him that requires him sitting in your car?

He should pay the £80, but he won’t. So don’t see him again. All communication via email in future.

Vuurhoutjies · 14/12/2023 09:59

today the window, tomorrow your face.

He should pay. But he's a violent abusive man so he won't.

End this now and forever.

petalsandstars · 14/12/2023 10:09

He needs to pay. He has caused damage to your property. Text him that he has caused the damage so he needs to pay or you will report him for criminal damage to the police.

AgentJohnson · 14/12/2023 10:15

This unfortunately (or fortunately if it stops you entertaining this idiot) is one of the many costs of continuing to have this Ex in your present.

SapphOhNo · 14/12/2023 10:28

Yes he should pay but he likely won't. Cease all engagement, chalk this up to your bad judgement and move on.

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