Page 3 | Holiday with friends?

Lala727 · 2023-12-13T20:13:05+00:00

Posting on behalf of a friend as she's not in mn. Is it common or normal to be going on a family holidays abroad (friend, partner, child 4 and child 4 months) and invite friends (another family) to go with you? I can think of nothing I'd e joy less than to think I'd be getting alone time in with my partner and children away from it all and then have others there for a 12 day holiday but maybe I'm the odd one! Is this other people's idea of fun?

Whatineed · 14/12/2023 09:25

Lala727 · 13/12/2023 20:42

Well this is eye opening lol it would be my version of hell, I want a holiday with the people I love most and to leave others behind😆 not in a judgemental way as each to their own but I've always found it odd when couples can't spend time with just them. A weekend away at a family centric resort with friends, absolutely. 12 days in a hot country with beach, pool, my children and oh, never, I'd relish the quality time

I can't delete that enoji for some reason

I have friends who after my son, I absolutely love the most. I love their girls like my own. So yes I love spending time with them on holiday, as we don't get enough quality time together around work and family commitments.

We've had the benefit of being able to rent a mansion in Italy with a private pool and separate sleeping areas for the family because there were enough of us to make it a reasonable price. I'd much rather this, than being stuck in a resort with people you don't know, scrabbling for loungers and the pool being people soup. It was absolute bliss, plus more adults pitching in on a self catering holiday meant less time clearing up.

I choose my friends, so why wouldn't I choose to spend quality time with them.

From your friends perspective though... a shaky relationship situation and a group of people she doesn't know? Really no.

MyBigFatGreekSalad · 14/12/2023 09:28

We've done this but a UK holiday, not abroad.
It was great for us as we all had the same mindset as wanting to do things separately the odd day. Kids entertained each other and we took it turns to babysit so each couple could go on a date night.

You have to be careful about who you go with though!

mindutopia · 14/12/2023 09:35

People do it. I think they are also the sort of people who fill their weekends with visiting and having people over. We have friends who are massively stressed with work (work long hours), have a toddler and a baby on the way, are exhausted....like falling asleep on the sofa while you talk to them exhausted and in tears constantly. And yet, every bloody weekend is packed from morning to night with plans with friends, meeting people for lunch, weekend away with friends, dinner parties, constant social plans...and then they are up til midnight during the week doing the online shopping, cleaning the house, washing the clothes. They're on their knees. But they just fill every spare minute with seeing people.

My worst nightmare, honestly. They visited us last weekend and I felt exhausted and on edge just listening to them go on about it all. It was such a relief when they left because I found it so stressful listening to them arguing about how to squeeze in lunch with family and 3 kid's parties and a night away and all the other stuff into 48 hours. I suspect these are the folks who want to go on holiday with friends or with family. Not my cup of tea. But we also only see most of our closest friends or family if they come to stay with us for the weekend because everyone lives too far away for a day trip and we are a cheap 'holiday' as live in a tourist area. So we constantly have people wanting to come stay at ours, which drives me mad as it is. If I'm going on holiday, I want some bloody peace, not more people to host and entertain.

Dontbeme · 14/12/2023 09:38

This wouldn't be my idea of a relaxing break. As your friend is not close to the other couple but her DH is, the worry would be her DH heading off with his friends and leaving your friend with all the kids. Do they have separate accommodation for this holiday, plans for eating out together, is it self catering, similar interests for days out, has any of that been discussed?

RoachFish · 14/12/2023 09:40

@mindutopia They kind of sound like me. I get energy from being around people so I prioritise that over housework/online shopping etc so that is always left to the few minutes I have spare in the day. I don't mind being exhausted sometimes because I get so much out of being with other people. It doesn't mean I can't also like my own company but it's hard for me to turn down things that sounds like fun to just be by myself and I have engineered a life where I have lots of different people to socialise with and do different things with.

Original poster

Lala727 · 14/12/2023 09:43

mindutopia · 14/12/2023 09:35

People do it. I think they are also the sort of people who fill their weekends with visiting and having people over. We have friends who are massively stressed with work (work long hours), have a toddler and a baby on the way, are exhausted....like falling asleep on the sofa while you talk to them exhausted and in tears constantly. And yet, every bloody weekend is packed from morning to night with plans with friends, meeting people for lunch, weekend away with friends, dinner parties, constant social plans...and then they are up til midnight during the week doing the online shopping, cleaning the house, washing the clothes. They're on their knees. But they just fill every spare minute with seeing people.

My worst nightmare, honestly. They visited us last weekend and I felt exhausted and on edge just listening to them go on about it all. It was such a relief when they left because I found it so stressful listening to them arguing about how to squeeze in lunch with family and 3 kid's parties and a night away and all the other stuff into 48 hours. I suspect these are the folks who want to go on holiday with friends or with family. Not my cup of tea. But we also only see most of our closest friends or family if they come to stay with us for the weekend because everyone lives too far away for a day trip and we are a cheap 'holiday' as live in a tourist area. So we constantly have people wanting to come stay at ours, which drives me mad as it is. If I'm going on holiday, I want some bloody peace, not more people to host and entertain.

Edited

The top bit, why do you think they do that? That's exactly the type I had in mind when I pictured the holiday together situation

OP posts:

Appleblum · 14/12/2023 09:46

It would absolutely depend on the kind of place you're going to. We've done the island resort type of holiday with 2 other families with similarly aged kids and it's great! The kids get to play together all the time and the fathers supervise whilst the mothers sit around with our drinks and chat, or spa.

Cruises are also great together as there's a good mix of group/solo activities. Sometimes we want time together as a couple or family and it's easy to do that without the other family feeling left out or stranded.

I haven't done those city itineraries in a big group though, I think they'd be harder with more possibilities for friction.

NotARealWookiie · 14/12/2023 10:02

I like both. Sometimes it’s the more the merrier and sometimes it’s lovely to just be a family

pinkspeakers · 14/12/2023 10:09

Yes, absolutely! With the right people it is a brilliant way to go away as a family. Extra adults to share out babysitting etc (chance to have dinner out as a couple?). Take turns cooking dinner if self catering - nights off for you! Children entertain each other. Just shakes up the family dynamics a bit (especially useful with teenagers!). I recommend going away with families with slightly older children than yours in an ideal world! I'd have found it impossible to have a totally relaxed holiday doing nothing with very young children just us. I either liked to have a fairly active holiday, or have others around. And no, there is/was nothing wrong with my relationship with my husband! Holidays alone with him are lovely, but with children kind of harder.

Obviously it does have to be the right people though!!

TheChosenTwo · 14/12/2023 10:23

Not something we’ve done with friends but mainly because our friends didn’t have kids when we did and we all wanted different holidays at different times.
We’ve had holidays with family but it’s always worked well because our kids always had a cousin close in age to them and they’ve always got on so well.
It could have been really handy during the years where the dc were at difficult ages but we’ve always made it work without being away with friends.
At home dh and I are very sociable, when we go on holiday as a family we just like to switch off.

Hecate01 · 14/12/2023 10:29

I haven't read the whole thread but I'll be honest, I used to ask friends on holiday because I couldn't stand the thought of having to spend a week with my (now) ex partner.

Different people will have different reasons but that was my main one.