Crazy allergy policy or AIBU?

[Smarshian]

Booked a party for DD. All good. Friend has significant food allergies and usually brings her own.
Called the centre to inform and they have introduced a new policy that no food can be brought in from outside. No exceptions. They can’t cater for her (I don’t think - although am checking), and mum would rather she brought her own as safer for her.
I queried the policy and they said it was to stop cross contamination to others. They had had an incident and updated policy. Assume it was a child who had eaten nuts on the premises and had a reaction from what I was told.
This means if we can’t find anything that mum and child are comfortable with that she will have to sit and watch all the friends eat without her.
surely this policy hurts the allergy sufferers more?!
Ridiculous policy or AIBU?

Just state you have a guest attending with X allergy and what is their policy for accommodating people with health conditions or disabilities. Ultimately you don’t have to book with them, you can find another venue.

Much as it is a shame, it is partially true though. For example, if a child has a nut allergy and they allowed someone else to bring in their own cake for a dairy allergy and that cake contained nuts... it does suck and I'd find it equally as irritating as you, but sadly it does make sense and sadly you'll probably also get arseholes pretending they've allergies to bring their own stuff in and therefore save money.

That being said, I would absolutely expect they should then be providing suitable alternatives in house, nobody should be expected to go without.

I think before making any judgement you need to clarify if they can cater for your friends child’s allergies. If they can your friend can liaise and ensure all is good.

external food coming in can pose a risk so it’s a tough situation.

What happens to these places if this does actually happen?

Fines? Prosecution? Increased insurance?

I've no idea!

The problem is these places also sometimes say they can cater for allergies but then are not careful so allergy families may not want the risk anyway.

If you are allowed to bring whatever you think is right, then the liability is theirs. Sorry, not without wishing to diminish people with allergies, in this day when people sue at the drop of a hat, the venue need to protect themselves.

I would ask as a reasonable adjustment they allow the allergy sufferer to bring their own food if they are not able to cater for them.

I voted UABU as you haven't checked if they will cater for her, they likely will so no need to get all worked up.

I had a similar experience with my DS some years ago at a sports award ceremony being held in a boarding school. He has multiple food allergies and they refused to cater for him even though I made some very simple suggestions that would have been ok , like a ham sandwich on dry bread. They said they couldn't guarantee no cross contamination so were not prepared to take the risk even though we were.(No idea what they do with pupils with allergies as they must surely have some.) But they also refused to let us bring our own food so we just didn't go. It was quite a distance away and there was no way I was going to let DS sit there watching his team mates tucking into a meal whilst he had absolutely nothing.
Someone later said I should have complained as it would be classed as disability discrimination. I didn't know if that's true but might be worth looking into.

I’m not sure I will go down the route of discrimination, the girl will attend either way, but I would feel awful her coming and not being able to have any food! I imagine they won’t be able to cater having now received the list of allergies but will see what they say.
Their stance on the phone earlier was that they can’t cater for all allergies and you can’t bring your own though.

Ask for their reasonable adjustments - bringing your own food as an allergy sufferer may considered under the Equality Act as a reasonable adjustment if a venue can't supply safe food.

Pound to a penny, you bring up reasonable adjustments and the equality act and they will shit the bed and backtrack wildly. Not allowing people with serious allergies to bring their own food when the venue cannot and will not supply safe food IS disability discrimination.

I understand why the policy is there but surely they need to do one or the other? Either cater for the allergies or let her bring her own? It seems mad if their solution is that one child just has no food! I hope they're able to sort it

Surely that's like saying a whole party going to a restaurant , one person has allergy so will bring their own food . You can't do that .

I understand the policy, but I would ask them if they can't cater for the child with the allergies to allow her to bring a packed lunch and open it in the party room only, with tables and hands cleaned after.

Are you allowed bring the birthday cake? Can you ensure that she has a suitable bun?

Seems absolutely fair enough to say no outside food to be bought in.

So you would be fine to say to your child you just have to it there and watch the other kids eat because they can’t cater for you and they won’t allow you to bring anything?

I've done it and most restaurants have no issues with it. They'd rather I bring food than they try to cater to my long list of allergies and end up killing me. I even brought my own meal to my own wedding 🤣

This policy sounds really discriminatory. Poor little girl, hope something can be sorted. My child has multiple allergies and we take our own food everywhere, always explain to the venue and thankfully never had any problems yet. It’s hard enough to navigate life with multiple allergies, without venues being so difficult!

These would have to be some really unique allergies for them not to be able to accommodate

Not necessarily - they may not be able to guarantee no cross contamination for something like milk, egg, gluten or sesame (seeds from burger buns get everywhere).

I’m not saying ‘they can’t possibly accommodate’ more that they have already stated that they won’t accommodate for all allergies.

Why not?

This is unfortunately something that many allergy sufferers are used to. It’s just life and so many places have weird policies.

My son has food allergies, it’s a pain but he would rather go to the party and not eat than miss out, I always find most places will have something that he can have, even if it’s just chips or a packet of crisps. Most party hosting parents really bend over backwards to try and help which is lovely, I always tell them though he will be fine for a few hours with some crisps and is just happy to hang out with his friends.

This is really naive, so many places just put a blanket ‘our food may contain all of the top 14 allergens and we cannot guarantee that there will be no cross contamination’. If you have a serious allergy you are not taking that risk.

Not really. Unless it’s a totally gluten free restaurant nowhere will guarantee there will be no cross contamination. Must be the same for all allergies. The manager comes and reads you a script in most chain places saying that X is present in the kitchen and they can’t guarantee your food will be ok.