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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I the only parent that feels this way?

87 replies

EmotionSickness · 13/12/2023 18:03

Hanging out with a toddler is boring.

I love my child entirely, but when it’s just me and him, I get so utterly bored.

I don’t want to smash trains together repeatedly.

I don’t want to watch Paw Patrol.

I don’t want to sing mindless games at toddler groups.

I don’t want to run around soft play centres.

I don’t want to chase him round a muddy park in the cold.

Please someone tell me I’m not alone in this (and also some ideas for stuff that’s more child and parent friendly because I’m losing my mind 😂)

OP posts:
alphadawg · 13/12/2023 18:08

It is tedious and often unenjoyable. I try not to force it too much. I don't like playing and my dd is too young to fully understand proper play anyway. She gets bored and moves onto the next thing within 30 seconds which is usually emptying the laundry basket not playing dollies.

I try to do things I'd usually do but with dd in tow and then end it with something that would be enjoyable for her too. So we'll go into town and I'll do the bits of shopping I need to with her in the buggy and then we'll call at the library on the way home or something.

I gave up on baby groups a while ago. She just runs about now.

Don't beat yourself up, you're not supposed to find the same things enjoyable as a toddler would.

Mielbee · 13/12/2023 18:12

It's not just you. What helps me is to meet up with mum friends who have similar aged children and we can chat whilst they do their thing. Also I find ways of doing jobs round the house slowly with her, then I get the satisfaction of having got stuff done that I'd have to do anyway, and telling myself that one day she'll be able to help properly! And she genuinely enjoys putting things in baskets one by one etc.

NoClueWhatImDoing1 · 13/12/2023 18:15

Not at all! I liked to do things like colouring, jigsaws, read books. But pretend play or just look mummy, and having to watch or hold something while they play with you is just soul destroying 🙈

HomburgandTrilby · 13/12/2023 18:18

Of course it’s awful. Being a SAHP is a fairly recent idea in a tiny sector of the world’s population, and the idea you’re supposed to find it a ‘blessing’ far newer. It simply doesn’t suit most people. Go back to work, do interesting, paid adult things for a good chunk of the week and enjoy the shorter periods with your child.

Curlywurlycaz2 · 13/12/2023 18:21

How old is your child? Can they talk? Once mine were talking, they were a lot more fun.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 13/12/2023 18:23

Pretend play with a toddler can get tedious after a while.

when mine were small I liked things like messy play with corn flour and water, painting, colouring, making and playing with puppets, jigsaws, reading books, doing puzzles, going out and about for walks. Things with a purpose were much more enjoyable.

ThisisgroundcontroltoMajorTom · 13/12/2023 18:30

I loved the singing and the games and imaginary play. But it can get repetitive when you have to do each of them ten times but that’s how dc learn I suppose.

As a pp said, the trick is to do things that need doing anyway like cooking, and also do some hobbies that you enjoy, and accept the fact that you will be doing them much more slowly than usual with lots of interruptions.

A routine helps, so that your toddler gets out of the house every morning (you can build pockets of enjoyment in to that too as you are in charge of where you go) it doesn’t always have to be the park.

There’s a balance to be struck but generally if the mother is happy then so are the dc. In other words, don’t feel guilty about going back to work if you would prefer that.

ConstantRain · 13/12/2023 18:32

It's so dull. This is why I have an audiobook or podcast on in The background at home.
Thankfully, I made some great friends at playgroup so we used to meet up with the toddlers, do something together so we had company as well as being entertaining for the dc. We went to some quite exciting places, looking back. It was such a great time.
Make it work for you.

bakedpotatoforlunch · 13/12/2023 18:39

No you're not. I get it. I really do. And there are some great suggestions from pps.

But now 20 years on (and our kids are lovely young adults and I'm very proud of them) just sometimes I wish I could turn the clock back just for a short while and enjoy them playing toddler games again. It goes so quickly op. Do enjoy it too!

Thepurplebus · 13/12/2023 18:41

I don’t mind toddler groups as other adults are there and I don’t mind the park in weather that’s all right (I don’t get this MN view that everyone is actually out in waterproofs at the park in the piss wet, the parks here are deserted when it’s raining) but I struggle a lot with play as my child’s attention span is so short so I end up resorting to the tv

Iwanttheraintostop · 13/12/2023 18:59

As the saying goes with kids the days can be long but the years are short.

I used to get bored trying to entertain a toddler,it's a bit monotonous especially when it's wet and cold outside. When you're in the thick of it you can't imagine it being over and before you know it they're a teenager!

It gets easier when they're old enough to go to nursery (if that is still funded for 3 yr olds). I used to send mine to nursery in the afternoon - I was happy to entertain in the morning but ready for nursery by lunchtime!

Mothew · 13/12/2023 19:10

My children are adults now but I remember not enjoying playing with them very much. However my DMum loved it so we visited her a LOT 😄
Also playgroups, friend get togethers and the fact mine are very close in age helped as they kept each other amused.

Benibidibici · 13/12/2023 19:16

Loads of its awful but its offset by enjoying their delight at feeding the ducks, lovely cuddles & calm storytimes. The cute things they say, watching them interact with pets etc, feeling proud as they reach milestones.

The whole point is you aren't meant to just be there alone going insane with a semi verbal toddler 24/7. You find other parents with toddlers so that there's adult chat and companionship alongside the tedium. You do normal life things like pop to the shops, visit friends & family, go for walks, you just do it with the toddler coming too. You chat to other parents at parks & playgroups.

Benibidibici · 13/12/2023 19:21

Also choose toys carefully.

Plastic character themed sets/vehicles & transformers etc don't actually have a lot of open ended independent play value - they are more fun playing imaginatively with someone else (mummy!!) compared to things like craft materials, construction eg duplo, brio, build it, and small world stuff like toy cleaning equipment/kitchens where a child will often creatively play without your input for 20-30mins.

CharlotteBog · 13/12/2023 19:23

How old?
The toddler I mean, not you!

Shiningout · 13/12/2023 19:26

Of course it's normal! Thays the reason you don't see adults without children running round a park or soft play or playing with toy cars etc. They are activities children find interesting and fun not parents 😁

llamadrama16 · 13/12/2023 19:27

God no those toddler years are made up of mind-numbing dullness. Both of mine are at school now and they're a delight. We can go out for meals and have conversations and do galleries and theatre shows. They enjoying doing art with me and I'm reading some brilliant books with my older one. They still like to play boring crap but they're happy to do that together now!

Cerealkiller4U · 13/12/2023 19:27

alphadawg · 13/12/2023 18:08

It is tedious and often unenjoyable. I try not to force it too much. I don't like playing and my dd is too young to fully understand proper play anyway. She gets bored and moves onto the next thing within 30 seconds which is usually emptying the laundry basket not playing dollies.

I try to do things I'd usually do but with dd in tow and then end it with something that would be enjoyable for her too. So we'll go into town and I'll do the bits of shopping I need to with her in the buggy and then we'll call at the library on the way home or something.

I gave up on baby groups a while ago. She just runs about now.

Don't beat yourself up, you're not supposed to find the same things enjoyable as a toddler would.

This is wonderful advice @alphadawg

i hates the baby phase for me! I loved it will a toddler because I could take her them!!! But the baby phase I couldn’t stand

it’s not easy. You’re not meant to like it all. You’re doing an amazing job. All the ladies on this thread

know that I’ve seen you all and I am so proud of you all!!

from one badass mother. To you basass mothers!!!

BakedPotatoAndButter · 13/12/2023 19:36

The only paid baby/toddler classes we went to were really for me not my child, for some mental stimulation. There was a choir for parents, where we sang several part a Capella songs, whilst the kids of all ages from newborn up to just about to start school, played, slept, were cuddled etc in the same room as us. I also went to a baby class in a foreign language, that I already spoke a bit. There was singing, baby signing and play all mixed together, but I was learning vocab and pronunciation!

bananamangoes · 13/12/2023 19:40

No. Id rather work

They do get more interesting once you get to 4 +

ZebraD · 13/12/2023 19:58

I read or watched something recently that was talking about this and something along the lines of dads naturally getting a ‘high’ from playing and mums getting their ‘high’ from cuddles. (I can’t remember the exact wording used so forgive my description) In my experience that rings true…not sure if it helps. I have always felt like a failure for really disliking play times with my kids…

Olika · 13/12/2023 20:12

It's so dull. Day after day. The highlight of my week is our local toddle group so I can chat with other parents and we have snacks.

CrikeyMajikey · 13/12/2023 20:15

It is tedious, I remember that. But today my ‘baby’ submitted his Uni application and I cried. I wish I could go back to those days when I was in a hurry and he was slow, when he wanted to play and I wanted to tidy. I would slow down and play and lap up every moment. It goes way too quickly.

MissyB1 · 13/12/2023 20:17

I think I might be unusual in that I loved the toddler years, and miss them so much! I enjoyed imaginative play, reading with them, the toddler groups, trips to the park etc.. Loved bathtime and bedtime stories etc…
Now having teens is boring! I would rather converse with a 2 year old 😂

Justfinking · 13/12/2023 20:22

HomburgandTrilby · 13/12/2023 18:18

Of course it’s awful. Being a SAHP is a fairly recent idea in a tiny sector of the world’s population, and the idea you’re supposed to find it a ‘blessing’ far newer. It simply doesn’t suit most people. Go back to work, do interesting, paid adult things for a good chunk of the week and enjoy the shorter periods with your child.

I think you'll find outsourcing your parenting to random strangers is a far more recent idea. SAHP here, yes it can get boring 7-7 is a long day, but I chose to have children and it's only for a short while. It helps to break up the day with other adults if possible.

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