Am I the only parent that feels this way?

[EmotionSickness]

Hanging out with a toddler is boring.

I love my child entirely, but when it’s just me and him, I get so utterly bored.

I don’t want to smash trains together repeatedly.

I don’t want to watch Paw Patrol.

I don’t want to sing mindless games at toddler groups.

I don’t want to run around soft play centres.

I don’t want to chase him round a muddy park in the cold.

Please someone tell me I’m not alone in this (and also some ideas for stuff that’s more child and parent friendly because I’m losing my mind 😂)

My mum was the same. She gave up work to raise my brother and I and said it was boring!

She’s really passionate about me going back to work to get adult company etc. as she felt like she cut herself off from this when she was a mother.

I mostly do things I want or need to do and my toddler joins in.

I'm cooking - he's got utensils and a pot to bang. I'm doing laundry- he's got some tea towels to flap around. I'm cleaning- he's got a sponge or brush to join in etc etc... they love all that.

Plus my music is on 90% of the time in the background, I'll put the odd kid song on for him every now and then.

I find I can only do mundane, routine things if I want to actually follow a podcast or audio book i.e I wouldn't be able to engage with my child (or I'd be forever rewinding).
A walk with a 2 year old isn't going to be a great drawn out event. Wouldn't you want to talk to them?

Humans were supposed to live in tribes, not isolated units. Of course it's bloody boring being alone in a house much of the day with a toddler. That's why most men don't want to do it.

I loved it. I loved watching them develop so fast. It's like they did or learned something new every day. Everything was new to them and they were full of awe and wonder. It's like I saw the world with new eyes every day.

But we're all different, and enjoy different stages of our kids. It's parenting adults that I find really hard! Yet my friend who really didn't enjoy being a mum to her children from 0-16, is absolutely loving the young adult stage, and has a fantastic relationship with her sons.

Agreed. I have a 3.5 year-old and work 4 days a week (primary teacher). As much as I love my little girl being a SAHM would be my worst nightmare. I didn't enjoy the baby classes when she was small, and this was exacerbated by the fact there were so many Covid restrictions in place at the time. I'm too old and busy for new mum friends!
Hubby is the complete opposite and would give anything to be a SAHD!

I do quite like toddlers but the best thing to do is find another mum with another toddler, or preferably several, and rotate houses so that everyone gets some adult conversation, the toddlers all get some new toys to look at and you all get a decent cup of tea/coffee without going broke spending loads at coffee shops. And go and visit any relatives you have nearby.

In terms of how to occupy them when you're on your own, get them to help you (very slowly) with housework. Set up some kind of role play station (play kitchen, tool bench, shop, baby etc) and see how they interpret it, this is usually quite funny especially once they start to talk and do little scripts.

I quite like building things like lego and train tracks and megablocks and setting different things up with playmobil etc. Then you can sit back with a cup of tea and let them play.

Do some sort of sensory bin whether it's shaving foam (whipped cream is an edible alternative) or dried rice or packaging puffs or kinetic sand. NOT the water beads/orbeez things, they are lethal (literally) if swallowed.

My 2yo is into marble runs and pouring marbles from one pot to the next at the moment, that is quite fun to do with them.

There is a book called The Toddler Busy Book which is quite good.

Outdoor time also tends to help with behaviour and sleep in general (they are just hairless two-legged dogs really). Letting them decide where to go on a walk is often quite entertaining. One ear in a podcast also is good for this.

My children are adults now but I can honestly say that I was lucky that I had friends who had children at same age.I cannot remember one day in the early years where I didn’t go somewhere with the children. Staying at home just wasn’t an option for my MH !

I bloody love toddlers - mine in particular but other people's are fabulous too!

my suggestions would be -
Get outside everyday - toddler in good waterproofs & flung onto my back saved my sanity - they get a great view & I get a walk. Put them down when you get to the interesting bit & let them potter along then do what you came for - feed the ducks or look under rotting logs or look for leaves etc etc

Make a very rough schedule in your head so that you have intense time with toddler (read picture books) then more hands off (they build with wooden blocks) then more intense again (water the plants together)then more hands off (they play with wooden spoons & the plastic cupboard while you put food together) etc etc

Make as many things as possible into a game that you both enjoy.

(& all my kids gave up naps at about 18 months so I really hear the Long afternoons drag - I often read endlessly to mine at that point or scribbled together or best of all dumped them in a bath)

I found the first few months when my daughter was a baby a bit boring at times and also hard work, but once she was a toddler, I enjoyed and treasured every day I spent with her. I loved watching her personality and skills develop, and enjoyed her company. I wouldn't have considered having a child if I'd not been able to stay at home with her for several years, and think the hours spent on the floor playing with Little Tykes buses, sylvanian families, drawing, and doing crafty things were far more valuable for her than any nursery could have been. We went out to parks several times a week and the local museum, and we spent a day every week with my mum. It was a real struggle financially for me to stay at home and we had to go without lots of things like holidays, cars, new clothes, home improvements, expensive meals out etc, but we've always thought it was worth it. The years just flew by and I went back to work part time when my daughter was eight, at which point we were able to start having holidays etc again.

You should watch Gino Dicampo on the podcast happy mum, happy baby. He says the exact same as you.

It’s very hard and especially at this bloody time of the year.

I had one like this and tried to do something in the morning that really tired him out, and then he was tired and easier to manage at the end of the day.

I was an 80s child and have zero memories of my dm playing with me and my siblings. I did play with my own dc but thought I'd actually die of boredom some days. Now they're all too old to want to play with me thankfully. I think it's a relatively new concept that parents (mostly mum's if we're being honest) now need to hover over their dc entertaining their every waking hour. You're definitely not alone op.

You do realise people are different?

121 intensive parenting is a modern invention and very isolating. Humans evolved to live in groups, with kids raised by a very extended family / tribe. Everyone had plenty to do that wasn’t childcare, and plenty of adult conversation.

This it’s perfectly normal to find too much 121 with a toddler dull and lonely

YY totally agree about dividing the day up into intense interaction time, and then more hands off things and having a sort of list of each type of activity.

For example:
Morning: Breakfast, hands off.
Mid morning: Interaction
Late morning: Snack/nap
Lunch
Afternoon: Outdoor
Late afternoon: Hands off
Dinner, wind down, bed.

If you want to be even more organised at this you can write yourself more specific lists of what you'll do each day. This is quite good for example because it allows you to pre-prep stuff, so if you think OK, tomorrow is going to be an arctic themed day so before I go to bed, I'll set up all these toy polar bears on a white blanket and then he'll have something to look at when he wakes up. You can then have a leisurely morning not having to be super involved, once you've woken up a bit, you could get some little toys you've frozen into ice out of the freezer and have some fun whizzing those around on a baking tray/tuff tray or something, letting him bash at them with a toy hammer, giving him a little pot of warm water to pour on them to see what happens etc.

Go for a walk and look for frozen puddles to crack or just whatever he's interested in. Then your afternoon time might be putting on the film Happy Feet or something.

I am too disorganised to do the planned out activities thing but it would probably help bring some variety to your day. If you don't want to do a load of plans in advance you can also just make some lists.

Things toddler can do without me:

Watch TV
Play with toys I have set up (list toy sets)
Aquadraw mat
Ramp for cars
etc

Things that I can keep half an eye while drinking tea:

Sensory play
Colouring/stickers
Marble run
Obstacle course

Things that need active involvement:

Housework tasks
Playing doctors
Building towers to knock down
Throw the ball
Tickle race

Places to go outside:

Local park
River to feed ducks
Leaf hunt
Puddle splash walk
Library
Look for squirrels
Corner shop

etc etc

I loved it, maybe that’s because I hated my difficult job before I had kids. But also I think it’s because I did what I wanted to do, just with a toddler in tow as opposed to everything being very toddler focused.

Living in central London helped but I would go to a museum and let them run around whilst I looked at the exhibition/art etc, I would go to John Lewis and let them play in the toy section followed by lunch in the cafe, I’d walk, and walk and walk. Out of the house as much as possible.

When home we’d have huge bubble baths together. Or I’d let them open and empty all the kitchen cupboard and play with pans whilst I baked. Or I’d turn on some music and dance and sing with them, but my music, not nursery rhymes!

My toddler was very happy with all of the above, at the end of the day a happy mum makes a happy baby.

Try to think about how you’d like to spend your day and see if you can adapt it slightly to fit your toddler in as opposed to going to bloody soft play or toddler group which I agree is completely tedious.

@BertieBotts what a brilliant response. You sound like you would be the lighthouse guiding the sinking parents in the sea of the damned that surrounds the happy ear busting yells of manic kids at soft play.

It’s not just you! I have an only just 3 year old and a 9 month old and the days are long and often boring. I find meeting up with friends with kids a similar age as my oldest helps, other than the odd bit of refereeing they entertain themselves, we’ll usually meet at soft play or a park or something like that. My son likes to do painting and play dough too, it usually passes an hour or so on and he doesn’t usually want too much help. We also tend to go out a lot too, to the farm, for a walk, to the park, anywhere so that we’re not just in the house.

It is logical and normal to not find toddler play interesting. This stage won't last for ever.

110% feel the same way, it’s part of why I work full time. I am a better parent by not being home for full days. My kiddo was calm, easily entertained, played by herself loads and talked early enough I could have a conversation at 2. Still bored to tears 🤷‍♀️. We had a wonderful nanny and I worked from home so got to see her at lunch time and between 4-5:15 she’d alternate playing with nanny or helping make dinner with me. Nothing wrong with full time childcare!!

I feel the same but then I’m constantly feel guilty when people say I’ll miss this stage. I know I will once they’re all grown up but that doesn’t help it be any less boring in the moment.

You sound amazing! Lucky kids 🙂

I look back at pictures of Dd and I always think how utterly cute she was and feel sad I didn’t fully enjoy it because I found myself lurching from being bored to dealing with full blown tantrums. I told my husband once that I felt guilty about not being able to enjoy it. He was like “oh dear god of course you don’t, who would actually enjoy this” he’s a good dad, did nights, nappies, took DD out a lot always did bath and bedtimes, cooked for her etc and adores her but it made me feel so much better that even though he looked like he was loving it even he felt the grind.

But yup it’s pretty boring tbh. They can be really funny though and they do get a lot easier as they get older. I still get a sinking feeling when Dd wants to do imaginative play. Being outside is always easier than being inside imo. Swimming classes are great, they love a splash around.

Our daughter has not long turned two and has now decided that which ever adult is at home must be fully engaged in play or she’ll scream her head off, we also have to look at things by essentially stabbing ourselves in the eye with them to prove we’ve looked.

Fine for the first minute of stack the hoops, but an hour later your sanity is very delicate. I do at least one thing a day where I can just supervise from a distance a bit more, so toddler park, messy play, soft play etc. She will still happily do these a bit more independently.