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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do parents stay at school discos?

53 replies

MulledWhiney · 13/12/2023 17:19

DD’s first ever school disco tomorrow. It is her first term in Reception. We’ve bought her a ticket, tickets are sold per child. It is in the evening, so will pick up from school, come home and have tea (and dress up in a sparkly dress) then go back to school for the disco.

I assumed that we would leave the children there and come back to pick up. It is a supervised event and a small school (<100 pupils). But now the class WhatsApp is lighting up with all the other parents saying they are staying at school for the whole duration. From my memories of school discos in the 90’s, parents don’t stay?? Unless there was some secret parent room somewhere that I didn’t know about 😂.

I had already told DD that the disco was just for children and parents aren’t allowed, now I’m alternating between thinking I’m a terrible person for leaving her there when all the other parents are staying, and thinking if you didn’t think your child could be happy going to such an event, why did you buy a ticket?

AIBU to drop her off and pick her up at the specified times?

OP posts:
Icantbedoingwithit · 13/12/2023 17:20

I have never seen parents at a school disco!

Hermittrismegistus · 13/12/2023 17:22

At ours parents are welcome to stay in the dining hall to wait until collection time. Discos are held in the assembly hall.

Teeheehee1579 · 13/12/2023 17:27

Good god I hope not. They are perfectly used to being in school without a parent during the day.

runwithme · 13/12/2023 17:27

Our school disco is run by the PTA so only parents who are helping are allowed to stay

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 13/12/2023 17:29

Its unlikely there will be enough room for all these helicopter parents to stay.

The only parents that stay are on the PTA and are organising it.

FlamingoYellow · 13/12/2023 17:32

It depends on the school. At my dc's current school parents have to stay. Even the year 6 kids have to have parents there. I was not happy when I found out 😂.

saveforthat · 13/12/2023 17:35

Do reception children really have discos nowadays?

SquigglePigs · 13/12/2023 17:38

Our school expressly states Reception parents are allowed (but not required) to stay but all other years it's expected they're dropped off.

Benibidibici · 13/12/2023 17:41

At our school the PTFA asks for some parent volunteers to help but most parents are not there.

The "disco" for the kids in the infants happens right after school and is only one hour so you collect at 4.30 instead of 3.30.

SnapdragonToadflax · 13/12/2023 17:41

Ours is PTA run, but they ask for volunteers and loads of Reception parents stayed to help because they weren't sure how their kids would cope (me included).

It turned out my DC wasn't ok - didn't like the loud music or the bigger kids being quite boisterous - so we'll leave discos until Y1 at least.

ManateeFair · 13/12/2023 17:45

saveforthat · 13/12/2023 17:35

Do reception children really have discos nowadays?

We had them when I was that age... and I was that age in 1981.

It won't be like a disco for older kids - it will be lots of five-year-olds running around and leaping about doing mad dancing accompanied by coloured lights and kid-friendly pop music.

FilthyforFirth · 13/12/2023 17:47

I wish I was allowed to stay but it was drop off at DS's school for Yr. I was gutted!

Didimum · 13/12/2023 17:47

Just had ours for reception and yr1. Parents required to stay for that one, but yr 2 plus disco parents could just drop off. Also a small school with under 100.

MilkChocolateCookie · 13/12/2023 17:48

Depends on the age. As your DD is in reception I would expect to stay.

saveforthat · 13/12/2023 17:51

ManateeFair · 13/12/2023 17:45

We had them when I was that age... and I was that age in 1981.

It won't be like a disco for older kids - it will be lots of five-year-olds running around and leaping about doing mad dancing accompanied by coloured lights and kid-friendly pop music.

Show quote history

Oh OK definitely not a thing in this area when my son was in primary (early noughties). I was thinking of all the 5 year olds wearing inappropriate clothing and smoking and snogging behind the bike sheds.🙂

Frasers · 13/12/2023 17:51

I’d have assumed for 5 year olds they stay.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/12/2023 18:01

Our Reception and Y1 disco is straight after school and parents have been told to pick up after to save them coming to school twice an hour apart.

When my DD was in Reception, I’d have left her there to enjoy it rather than hovering around her.

bluechameleon · 13/12/2023 18:21

Both the school I work at and the school my DC attend, all DC must be accompanied by an adult. No leaving them whatever age they are.

TantalisingCantaloupe · 13/12/2023 18:29

Both my children's school and the one I work in require adults to attend - no supervising adult, then no entrance with absolutely no exceptions. No one wants to assume responsibility for that many children and their needs (and not enough volunteers to allow that safely, even if they didn't mind).

Riapia · 13/12/2023 18:31

saveforthat · 13/12/2023 17:51

Oh OK definitely not a thing in this area when my son was in primary (early noughties). I was thinking of all the 5 year olds wearing inappropriate clothing and smoking and snogging behind the bike sheds.🙂

Show quote history

I doubt the 5 year old girls will be rolling their skirts up.
😉😁😁😁

ColleenDonaghy · 13/12/2023 18:32

Parents stay at ours, it's only 45 mins so they give us a classroom to cram into otherwise we'd all just be waiting in our cars.

BusyMum47 · 13/12/2023 18:33

runwithme · 13/12/2023 17:27

Our school disco is run by the PTA so only parents who are helping are allowed to stay

⬆️Same! School staff are there too but parents are very actively discouraged!!

Himawarigirl · 13/12/2023 18:35

We require at least one adult per 4 children.

FuckinghellthatsUnbelievable · 13/12/2023 18:35

Some parents stay at ours more for the little ones who might become upset. You could sign them in and leave if you preferred.

pregnantpanic · 13/12/2023 18:41

At my daughters school we were required to stay for reception, told to leave from year 1 Grin