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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do parents stay at school discos?

53 replies

MulledWhiney · 13/12/2023 17:19

DD’s first ever school disco tomorrow. It is her first term in Reception. We’ve bought her a ticket, tickets are sold per child. It is in the evening, so will pick up from school, come home and have tea (and dress up in a sparkly dress) then go back to school for the disco.

I assumed that we would leave the children there and come back to pick up. It is a supervised event and a small school (<100 pupils). But now the class WhatsApp is lighting up with all the other parents saying they are staying at school for the whole duration. From my memories of school discos in the 90’s, parents don’t stay?? Unless there was some secret parent room somewhere that I didn’t know about 😂.

I had already told DD that the disco was just for children and parents aren’t allowed, now I’m alternating between thinking I’m a terrible person for leaving her there when all the other parents are staying, and thinking if you didn’t think your child could be happy going to such an event, why did you buy a ticket?

AIBU to drop her off and pick her up at the specified times?

OP posts:
Winniespooh · 13/12/2023 18:54

Parents stay at ours. They sell alcoholic drinks so it's quite the evening!

UsingChangeofName · 13/12/2023 18:55

I think you'd have to ask at your specific school.

Bibbitybobbitty · 13/12/2023 18:58

Ours had a classroom for parents to stay if kids had medical needs but otherwise strongly discouraged. If they felt they needed to stay they were told to volunteer as a PTA helper & promptly given a job to do on the night.

EllieQ · 13/12/2023 19:04

Parents have to stay at ours, for both the KS1 and KS2 discos. The school does provide a ‘quiet room’ for us!

If it’s her first ever school disco, it probably is better to stay in case she doesn’t enjoy it.

Shopper727 · 13/12/2023 19:06

My nephew had his recently and my sister stated he’s 5 in p1 and such a cute wee dancer I have a lovely video of him dancing I stayed with my son - he has Sen so they needed me to stay for supervision

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/12/2023 19:07

At my son's school only the pta parents who run it are allowed be present. But the discos are held during the school day anyway, because it is a big school and they have to do it in batches.

MizzMarple · 13/12/2023 19:18

Parents not allowed to stay at mine unless they want to volunteer. But they’re no longer running it in the autumn term as the younger ones were getting too upset.

Topseyt123 · 13/12/2023 19:31

saveforthat · 13/12/2023 17:35

Do reception children really have discos nowadays?

We had them when I was in the infants in the early 1970s.

I don't recall parents staying, but it was so long ago now that my memories are hazy.

Ohmylovejune · 13/12/2023 19:47

I doubt it's for long, so that's probably why they are going to hang around. PTA should put on tea and coffee in a room next door and charge 50p and make a bit more for their coffers.

At primary school we just used to take ina box of food and have a party one afternoon (and all the leftovers at break the next day!).

Original poster
MulledWhiney · 13/12/2023 20:57

It’s for 2 hours which is a considerable time I guess!

From all of the (really helpful, thank you by the way 😊) comments, it’s seems so dependent on the school and what rules they have! Our school haven’t specified any rules about who is/isn’t allowed to stay, which I assumed meant parents weren’t allowed to stay. Other parents have clearly interpreted this differently though.

If I HAD to stay, I’d rather be dancing, but I think I might be super embarrassing and accidentally stomp on a child during the Cha Cha Slide… Better pack a book in my bag in case I end up sat in a classroom for 2 hours 😂

OP posts:
boomtickhouse · 13/12/2023 21:33

bluechameleon · 13/12/2023 18:21

Both the school I work at and the school my DC attend, all DC must be accompanied by an adult. No leaving them whatever age they are.

Same for ours. It's PTA run, not by staff. PTA don't want to take responsibility for 200 kids in the school with no parents (and why should they)

GrandTheftWalrus · 13/12/2023 21:37

We aren't allowed to stay at the parties/discos. Only parents there are the ones on the parent Council who are running it.

3WildOnes · 13/12/2023 21:43

At our school parents are required to stay for Reception and year 1 but from year 2 parents just drop and collect.

MindatWork · 13/12/2023 21:46

My reception aged DD had hers last Friday after school - run by the pta, parent helpers only. They did the reception/year 1&2 disco from 3-4.45pm and the year 4,5&6 disco straight after.

To be honest we could have done with more helpers/parents and 2 hours was too long. So many of the Reception kids were crying by the end of the night - there were stalls for them to buy glow sticks/cookies/sweet cones/slushes etc and so many of them completely forgot that they had money their parents had sent them in with, so didn’t buy themselves anything. I helped lots of little ones sort their coins out, bless them.

I offered to help because I knew my DD would probably get a bit weepy at some point, and sure enough she was hanging off my neck by 4.30.

She loved it though, and it was really lovely to see all the kids dancing around ♥️

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 13/12/2023 22:12

We didn't - but I'm going back around 15 years, and as other pp have said, school discos for the younger children were normally straight after school.

WandaWonder · 13/12/2023 22:17

No our child coped at school with out us so why wouldn't they at a disco?

Jane0Jane · 13/12/2023 22:19

We had to stay if under 5 for insurance reasons

FatMumSlimDad · 13/12/2023 22:22

Can stay and help.

I did that for a couple when DC were reception aged.

Behind the food/tattoo counters but helped for DC to know I was nearby and also meant I saw them a few times over the hour.

Probably much more for my benefit than theirs but also it's the most adorable thing to witness so always enjoyed myself.

SgtJuneAckland · 13/12/2023 22:26

Tattoo?!

Frosty1000 · 13/12/2023 22:27

No parents at ours due to safeguarding. It's PTA run and most teachers/Lsa's stay and help/dance etc, even the head which the kids love seeing them do the conga. We have a few parents doing drinks but they're dbs checked and are on the approved 'volunteer list '.

Some people do hang around in another room as it's not worth going home but it's rare.

ToothFairy2023 · 13/12/2023 22:37

That was what it was like when mine were little. I helped out at a few as I was on the PTA (no other parents were allowed to stay). The teachers and headteacher had things under control.

Fidgety31 · 13/12/2023 23:04

I used to stay with my kids - you had to. But the PTA ran a cheap bar for the adults so it was very popular !

DietrichandDiMaggio · 14/12/2023 00:19

bluechameleon · 13/12/2023 18:21

Both the school I work at and the school my DC attend, all DC must be accompanied by an adult. No leaving them whatever age they are.

Same here. Who do you think would be responsible for your child if you're not there? The PTA organise it but they are not there to look after everyone else's children. In our school you buy adult tickets and child tickets -there is a bar for adults.

GrandTheftWalrus · 14/12/2023 12:06

If there was a bar at ours I'd be there! Her Halloween disco was only 45 mins. Barely seemed worth it. And her Xmas party is during the school day so obviously parents won't be there.

PullUpPrince · 14/12/2023 12:07

runwithme · 13/12/2023 17:27

Our school disco is run by the PTA so only parents who are helping are allowed to stay

Same.

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