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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel incredibly proud of him even though he's not my son

49 replies

listsandbudgets · 13/12/2023 09:17

We have had a family of Ukrainian refugees with us for a bit over a year and a half now. One of them is a nearly 16 year old boy coming up to GCSEs in June.

They've just done their mocks. He got 9s in all the sciences and maths, 7 in computer science and art, 5s in English, German and History. He's outperformed the year averge on overall marks.

When he came he barely knew a word of English although he was fluent in Russian and Ukrainian and could speak some German Bulgarian and Polish. He has worked so hard it's unbelievable. 14 is a tough age to start learning a new language let alone a whole new school system in a new country.

Oh and on top of that he's still keeping up with some of his Ukranian school lessons online in the evenings and spending time teaching his gran English as she's been struggling.

We've done what we can to help him including buying him very simple versions of books - for example kids version of Macbeth and sitting with him while he does homework. I've go ta history degree so have been able to help him with that and DD is doing A levels in maths and sciences and took the time to help as well- but the effort has come from him.

He's not mine but he's lived in our home for a long time now. AIBU to feel as proud of him as I do my own children?

OP posts:
saoirse31 · 13/12/2023 09:21

Thats so nice op.

RudsyFarmer · 13/12/2023 09:22

What an amazing young man. Does his whole family live with you too?

Whinge · 13/12/2023 09:24

YANBU. He sounds like an incredible young man. I'm proud of him and I don't even know him. Xmas Smile

rainbowsparkle28 · 13/12/2023 09:26

Of course YANBU - he sounds like a fantastic young man 🙂

Gingerbee · 13/12/2023 09:27

Wonderful uplifting post.
I wish him all the best with his GCSEs. He obviously has worked so hard.

He is very lucky to be sharing your home And have your help.

catwithflowers · 13/12/2023 09:29

How lovely. I'm in tears reading this. Well done you your young guest and what an amazing thing you and your family have done. ❤️❤️❤️

Crayfishforyou · 13/12/2023 09:29

100% yanbu.
Family doesn’t have to be a blood relation.
I’m really proud of him, and I will probably never even meet him!

Dinnerlady12 · 13/12/2023 09:30

Love this. You should be proud of yourself too.

SapphosRock · 13/12/2023 09:31

This is so lovely. Thank you for sharing OP.

savemytimezone · 13/12/2023 09:34

That is incredible!!!

I didn't know it was possible to simultaneously learn a new language AND take exams in all sorts of subjects in that language!

I am currently trying to pick up French again (last learned in school decades ago) and doing badly. My poor old brain, lol!

Yeah, of course you should be proud of him. It's absolutely amazing what he's achieved and all on a background of absolute horror and loss.

I've just heard about this and now I too am proud of him!

Bluevelvetsofa · 13/12/2023 09:55

That’s wonderful and put me in mind of a young lad in my school from Poland, who arrived speaking no English and within two years had aced his GCSEs, including English. Such a work ethic!

Of course you should be proud.

Rudicoolcat · 13/12/2023 10:00

What a wonderful post!!! Please tell him that we are all so very proud of him and his achievements, and tell granny she's doing brilliantly!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

shellyleppard · 13/12/2023 10:03

I would be super proud too. I hope he knows itx well done young man x

phoenixrosehere · 13/12/2023 10:06

Why shouldn’t you feel proud? What rule is there that you can only be proud of your own children?

It is amazing what he has accomplished and I bet it would mean the world to him to hear that if he hasn’t already been told.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 13/12/2023 10:15

Fabulous, OP. Absolutely, you should be proud! He may not be your son but you have given him an opportunity to thrive and he has grasped it with both hands.

He sounds like a remarkable young man and you sound like a remarkable family. You have done a wonderful thing in taking in this family in the most difficult of circumstances.

I wish him every success in the future. Happy celebrating!!!

OrlandointheWilderness · 13/12/2023 10:16

Absolutely incredible achievements, I hope he is very proud of himself!

Whyisthissohard96 · 13/12/2023 10:18

I feel incredibly proud of you OP for supporting this young man

Chickenkeev · 13/12/2023 10:19

Yanbu at all!!! It's lovely to see someone do so well and think 'i helped'. Fair play to him, he must be a very bright kid.

Soñando25 · 13/12/2023 10:22

What a lovely post. You should indeed be proud of him and of yourselves for welcoming and supporting this family X

wanttoplayboardgames · 13/12/2023 10:23

Heartwarming, lovely post! You should be incredibly proud of him, and your family ❤️

pizzaHeart · 13/12/2023 10:37

Of course you should be proud of him - he’s got amazing achievements!
You also should be proud of yourself and all your family for being so lovely and supportive ❤️

theduchessofspork · 13/12/2023 10:38

Of course - that’s fantastic!

WorriedMillie · 13/12/2023 10:38

This is so lovely to read, OP, he sounds like a remarkable young man and you sound like an incredibly kind person ❤️

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 13/12/2023 10:40

He, his family, you and yours are amazing. You've all come together to make this happen. You've offered this family sanctuary and this young man has absolutely shone. It's just lovely.

Ponoka7 · 13/12/2023 10:46

Thankfully a corridor was opened and they were allowed to stay in the UK and not get shipped to Rwanda. As well as having doors opened. But yes, people escaping war are incredible for picking their lives up and grabbing every opportunity available.