To consider renting a property with my brother and his partner when we both have children?

[mrsfindlay]

Basically, I'm trying to think outside of the box a bit. I'm a single parent to DD (14) and currently live in a small 2 bedroom private rented property, the rent is cheap for the area but I don't think this is going to last for much longer as neighbouring rented properties are continuing to go up. We've also been here years and I feel like we have outgrown the place and would like a change. Although I am saving for a deposit, there is no chance of me owning anytime soon. My brother and and his partner are in a similar position and have a DD (3) We've had many conversations about our housing situations and its been sort of light heartedly mentioned that perhaps we should all rent a house together. We'd need a 5 bed house as my brother and I both work from home full-time. We have been browsing and have found a few houses within our budget but I'vesort of been a bit apprehensive about the idea. We are all quite easy going and chilled out people and get on really well, and my brother's partner and I have a small etsy / craft business together. Am I crazy to think this could work? Do you think landlords would accept people in these circumstances? Plus, from a financial point of view, if we did go ahead, do you think it would be fair to split bills and rent entirely 50/50. Just to clarify, there would be 5 of us. Me and my DD (a bedroom each) my brother and his partner (they would share a room) and their DD (my niece) who would also have her own room. Then preferably a 5th office type room that we could perhaps share (on a rota basis) It's obviously non conventional and would be a big adjustment as it's just been me and DD for years, but I do feel like this could work. Has anyone else lived in this type of set-up? Any advice?

How will cooking/cleaning be managed?

Who will claim living room on a evening?

Do you enjoy doing similar things on a evening eg tv/music?

What time will 3 year old get up? Where will her toys live?

Does your brother have a similar level of cleanliness to you?

Will your brother and gf want alone time in the house?

Will you and your dd be asked to babysit?

Is you dd clean /tidy/respectful? If no will that be an issue?

Will toddler routines/tantrums cause issue?

What time does toddler go to bed/get up?

How will house hold costs be managed ?

What happens if you meet someone?

When not working will you hang out or do your own thing?

Can you and your dd cope living with a three year old,?

In theory it's a great idea but if it goes wrong your all screwed as you have left your affordable rentals for this. Id think hard and be prepared to discuss every potential issue you can think of in advance so there's no nasty shocks.

Id want two living rooms so you can hang together or separately depending on how you feel.

I would consider doing this if I thought it would not negatively impact on the relationship with my brother or his wife or on their relationship with each other.
My concerns are not about the bedrooms but maybe not having enough living room privacy.

I would consider it more seriously if I were to be buying a house with them.
Can you manage to help each other get onto the property ladder? A four bed, two bath, two living room place that you could plan to sell after ten years.

I think you also need to consider the office space. You say you and brother work from home, plus you and sister in law run small Etsy type shop? How’s all that going to happen with one office space? In a 5 bed that’s only going to work if you and brother have office space in your bedrooms.

If it works go for it
50/50 for rent and council tax and split energy bill into 3 as that is a consumable and you’ll all be taking showers/ baths and cranking up the heating

Sorry, I can’t see it working .

I think the first person to speak to about this would be your DD. She might absolutely hate the idea of living with a toddler and not having much of her own space!

I also think you will need a bigger house than you think, as you will probably need 2 living rooms as well in order for it to work (one where the couple can go if they want to relax on their own, or your DD and friends if they want to watch a film, etc etc without taking up the only living space!)

Yeah, ideally an additional office type area would be preferable but to be honest I don't even have a home office now, I alternate between the kitchen table and a desk in my bedroom so I don't think this would be too much of an issue. My brother is the same. I guess what I haven't considered is the noise in the house with a toddler whilst I'm working

Thank you for all of your replies. Really helpful, a lot of good pints raised and a lot of thinking about

My MIL lives with us, and BIL previously did, and my advice would be to think about the little things.

Big things can be discussed and a compromise found, but the little things are what you have to live with every single day.

We have two bottles of ketchup - one lives in the fridge and one in the cupboard as it was a constant niggle.

Do you have similar attitudes to washing up and when it should be done?

BIL and I couldn’t live together again because of little things - cups are whisked away as soon as you look finished which drives me mad, he hates closed curtains, and he has the tv on in the background constantly. None of those are big battle grounds, but they are annoying every single day.

You’re at massively different parenting stages and that has massive potential for issues.

Think also about DD's social life - how would her bringing friends home impact on everybody? And play dates for the toddler?

Don't do this to your teenager please.

Points *