To assume the date is off?

[mimoisturiser]

Will try keep this short. Been seeing a guy for past 8 weeks now. All was well, good conversations, banter, laughs, sex. However, noticed him pulling back the past few weeks.

I have initiated and arranged past two dates and I have initiated most of the texts past few weeks. We had a date a week ago on Monday there. Then we spoke on the phone for an hour on the Thursday. We text a bit on Friday and he sent the last text which was one word and did not need a response. There has been nothing since then. I decided to not text due to feeling he is pulling away and to just observe what happens.

We have a date arranged tomorrow night, we have place and plan but not definite time. As I haven't heard from him by this point should I assume we are not meeting?

I know lots of advice will probably be to text him, and usually I'd agree, however, I feel this is an opportunity for me to see how this plays out due to the fact that I have arranged past two dates and most of the texts the past few weeks.

I have babysitter arranged for tomorrow night and giving it's a Wednesday night I don't have any plans I could do instead (friends working/kids etc) so to be honest, I'm thinking I should cancel babysitter but worried he texts tomorrow and I seem crazy and insecure for cancelling.

It’s a bit of a passive approach, if he’s not happy with OP dating others then he could just break up with her rather than expect her to do all the running around.

More likely he’s dating others too and thinks it’s OP’s job to run around after him.

Hm, I would keep the sitter booked but be prepared to cancel last minute with pay, and see if he steps up. If you get in touch and the plans go ahead then you're postponing an answer to the question as to whether or not he's interested. I don't think it's game playing, you just need some physical evidence.

So he's aware you are dating others but he isn't doing the same? Maybe he's playing hard to get.

No, the theory is if he likes you, he won’t make you feel confused. This will happen over and over again. Personally I wouldn’t text him and just move on.

Don’t be mad, msg him now.

Hi, what time for tomorrow night? I have to let babysitter know.

Seeing that you’ve booked a babysitter I’d want to know if the date was going ahead or not. So my message would be ‘is the date still on? If no can you let me know ASAP so I can cancel the babysitter’.

I just re-read the original post, and since you have been doing the work for the past few weeks, don't text him. Ideally, if it were me, I'd arrange to do something else last minute without him and still use the sitter, even if it's just quality me time. I'm just wondering, if you've been having sex and a really great time, when did that stop? Have you been his weekend date mostly? Because you say you've been driving things for a few weeks, but you've only been seeing him for 8 weeks...
For all you know, he might be busy and will text you for a time tomorrow, but if he doesn't you can still go out. Don't cancel though. You could play this one of two ways - ask him if it's still on, or do nothing.

text him to say you can't get a babysitter / or BS cancelled and so you can't meet tomorrow as arranged.

Let him respond to that. Or not. That will be your answer.

Cancel your babysitter. Then you can decide whether you text him or not, but you’ve not shelled out for a babysitter and in your mind, the dates not happening either.

I've always been of the mindset that if they wanted to, they would. If a man (or woman) is interested, they won't leave you hanging like this.

I’m a pretty firm believer of “if he wanted to he would” in the dating world. If he wanted to see you he’d be checking in and confirming the date. I would let this one go and just be happy that it didn’t go on any longer than 8 weeks.

I wouldn't bother. If he really wants you he would make it happen. He would make the effort and pursue you without you having to plan the dates etc.

Great minds think alike

Hahah that’s so good! Absolutely they do 🙌🏼

Sorry OP but he really does not sound that interested.

He knows a date involves you having to organise a babysitter and needs planning in advance.

If he was considerate he would have been in touch by now to confirm plans.

Cancel the sitter and don't text him.

I would cancel the babysitter, see if he texts. If he doesn't then his loss, if he does text then just say the babysitter cancelled and rearrange the date (or try and reinstall the babysitter!). At least this way, you'll know he has made some effort to text/arrange (or not).

Sorry, such a pain when men aren't straight with you. In my experience, some of them like keeping you around just in case (for sex etc) despite knowing you're not for them.

@mimoisturiser hi sorry OP, I'm curious. Did he ever get in touch?

If I were his mate I’d be saying “she’s dating other people, hasn’t responded to your last message, she doesn’t sound all that keen”

id also say don’t play games, text to see if the date is on

*If I were his mate I’d be saying “she’s dating other people, hasn’t responded to your last message, she doesn’t sound all that keen”

id also say don’t play games, text to see if the date is on*

I'd wonder if he's thinking this too. Did you end up going on the date?

So what happened?

Bit odd that you're sleeping with him while still seeing other people, even though he's not seeing anyone else. Maybe he's pulled back because he feels insecure? Did the date happen?