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Original poster

I’m ready to give up on life because nobody is taking this seriously

286 replies

tiredandgrumpyy · 12/12/2023 20:36

I am sorry to post again. No pictures this time, I promise.

Most of those reading will know the story, heavy rectal bleeding, prolapse and abdominal pain.

Admitted last Tuesday, discharged last Friday morning. Admitted again Saturday night.

The Sunday morning I saw a surgeon on the ward and they were really dismissive of me and I ended up sobbing. They discharged me after telling me they would fast track me to the colorectal surgeons because “no one will see you now, it’s a Sunday, do you expect a colorectal surgeon to see you now? what do you want me to do, call them up and tell them they need to get to work?” when I said I don’t feel well enough to go home he said “stay in then, I don’t know what you want me to do about it” rolling his eyes at his team, and walked off.

I stayed at home yesterday despite bleeding all day. Last night at around 2am, I woke up to go to the toilet again as it’s been non stop diarrhoea, and became so dizzy I collapsed and fell face first on the hard corner of the sofa, my nose and head is bruised.

Today has been hell. I have been on the toilet non stop, this morning it was just blood which wouldn’t stop even after going to the toilet. I don’t even know how many times I’ve been to the toilet with diarrhoea too.

I called the number for the colorectal department today and the secretary has said I’ve been referred for an appointment but it’s marked as ‘non urgent’ so it’ll be at least a 6-12 month wait to be seen. She hung up the phone when I got upset.

At 6:30pm I went to the toilet and I have bled for one hour straight. It’s dark, thick blood. I’d estimate around a mug - 1.5 of just blood, which continued in my underwear for 15 minutes after.

Today in total I would estimate about 2-2.5 mugs of blood.

I became so dizzy and couldn’t walk properly without being all over the place.

My partner has taken me to A&E, I was seen straight away and I’m waiting for bloods and I’m on a trolley. My blood pressure was high, not low, my heart rate was 125 but oxygen levels fine. Tummy is cramping and head really hurting.

Im so scared to be here. I have no one here with me as usual. My mum is very dismissive so wouldn’t come with me and my partner is at home with our DS.

I feel like a nuisance and I already want to cry because they must be sick of me by now. I don’t want to be seen as that ‘hypochondriac’ but it’s my only option because my GP always advises it’s A&E I need and not them.

Over the last two months I have lost £6,000 in monthly recurring revenue and I spend my life on the sofa or on the toilet. I am becoming so heavily depressed because I need help.

I don’t have friends nearby because I’ve recently moved. I have no one to be here to advocate for me and I become so nervous now that I struggle to talk without blubbering.

Please, I need help tonight, if anyone has any wide words on how I can best advocate myself, how I get them to listen, what I can say to make them listen, I would so appreciate it.

I am no longer coping and am at a point where I no longer want to be here.

I’m so sorry to post again. At this point it’s one of my only outlets and I don’t know where else to turn.

OP posts:
Silverbirchtwo · 12/12/2023 20:40

Sounds like you are in the best place, just keep saying how bad you feel and how much blood you are losing. Try to make sure they know how bad you are. Good luck.

delayrepayagain · 12/12/2023 20:40

I’m sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. It is reassuring your blood pressure is not low and your oxygen levels are normal. These show that your body is compensating despite the blood loss.

Snowflake760 · 12/12/2023 20:42

Why not just say ‘I’ve written it down’ and show them this post ? It will be quicker and assuming it summarises all the key facts a bit less traumatic for you.

Van34 · 12/12/2023 20:42

I don't want to read and run but I don't have much advice other than speaking to PALS about their behaviour as that isn't trust policy, and refusing discharge.
You can also request a chaperone for when you are being examined, would you feel better with someone there with you?

Mum2jenny · 12/12/2023 20:43

It may be more helpful if you dial 111 and get admitted by ambulance. I think they may take you more seriously with that route of admission.

Usernameundiscovered · 12/12/2023 20:44

I remember your previous posts on here. I'm disgusted you're being treated like this when you're clearly extremely unwell. Do you have another hospital within an hour you could go to instead?

cezannesapple · 12/12/2023 20:44

Don’t let them discharge you if you are still feeling unwell. You are entitled to get appropriate care.

Zanatdy · 12/12/2023 20:45

Goodness me that much blood loss you definitely needed to be admitted. Don’t let them fob you off. 6-12 months is completely unacceptable

Mum2jenny · 12/12/2023 20:45

My dp was admitted by ambulance via A&E and had colorectal surgery within 36 hours of admission

Gingernaut · 12/12/2023 20:45

You're shitting blood from a diagnosed condition.

You are not a hypochondriac

Please don't let them dismiss you

Please stay strong

BarkHorse · 12/12/2023 20:47

I remember the photos - have you shown them to a doctor?

While you said DM won’t come with you, could she help with DC so your DH could maybe?
I’m so sorry this is happening to you

Pigeonqueen · 12/12/2023 20:49

Really sorry to hear this. I have experienced being abused and gaslit by medical people in similar circumstances- I went on to be diagnosed with a condition which is fatal if untreated (Addisons disease). Is there any way you could go to another hospital? Another A and E to see a different team? Failing that I would complain to PALs and the chief executive if you are discharged again in this situation without proper investigation and treatment.

beetr00 · 12/12/2023 20:52

@tiredandgrumpyy

Could you ask for a referral to this team?

https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/services/departments/colorectal/

Fluffypuppy1 · 12/12/2023 20:52

Usernameundiscovered · 12/12/2023 20:44

I remember your previous posts on here. I'm disgusted you're being treated like this when you're clearly extremely unwell. Do you have another hospital within an hour you could go to instead?

This.

If there’s another hospital anywhere near you that you could go to please go there instead.

TomatoSandwiches · 12/12/2023 20:54

Perhaps if you tell them you are suicidal they can have a psychiatrist assess you to support the need for surgery ASAP.
I'm also completely furious for you op, I read your other thread but didn't comment, they are neglecting you.

Pizzanightagain · 12/12/2023 20:55

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was gaslit and it turned out to be serious. Stay strong. Keep standing your ground. If I was your friend in real life I'd be there advocating for you. For now you have some support here 💐

I remember your previous post. Keep us updated.

Missingmyusername · 12/12/2023 20:55

Is this happening in hospital? Can’t they see it for themselves?! Stay put, be firm, don’t you have a friend who could stay with you for support?
It sounds scary as hell.

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 12/12/2023 20:57

reading your story makes me feel so angry about the way you’re treated!!! You’re not a nuisance and you’re not hypochondriac!! You have bleeding from your rectum - how much more serious does it have to get?! Don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion or drive to a different hospital if you can. Don’t give up on yourself.

Canyoudigityesyoucan · 12/12/2023 20:58

tiredandgrumpyy · 12/12/2023 20:36

I am sorry to post again. No pictures this time, I promise.

Most of those reading will know the story, heavy rectal bleeding, prolapse and abdominal pain.

Admitted last Tuesday, discharged last Friday morning. Admitted again Saturday night.

The Sunday morning I saw a surgeon on the ward and they were really dismissive of me and I ended up sobbing. They discharged me after telling me they would fast track me to the colorectal surgeons because “no one will see you now, it’s a Sunday, do you expect a colorectal surgeon to see you now? what do you want me to do, call them up and tell them they need to get to work?” when I said I don’t feel well enough to go home he said “stay in then, I don’t know what you want me to do about it” rolling his eyes at his team, and walked off.

I stayed at home yesterday despite bleeding all day. Last night at around 2am, I woke up to go to the toilet again as it’s been non stop diarrhoea, and became so dizzy I collapsed and fell face first on the hard corner of the sofa, my nose and head is bruised.

Today has been hell. I have been on the toilet non stop, this morning it was just blood which wouldn’t stop even after going to the toilet. I don’t even know how many times I’ve been to the toilet with diarrhoea too.

I called the number for the colorectal department today and the secretary has said I’ve been referred for an appointment but it’s marked as ‘non urgent’ so it’ll be at least a 6-12 month wait to be seen. She hung up the phone when I got upset.

At 6:30pm I went to the toilet and I have bled for one hour straight. It’s dark, thick blood. I’d estimate around a mug - 1.5 of just blood, which continued in my underwear for 15 minutes after.

Today in total I would estimate about 2-2.5 mugs of blood.

I became so dizzy and couldn’t walk properly without being all over the place.

My partner has taken me to A&E, I was seen straight away and I’m waiting for bloods and I’m on a trolley. My blood pressure was high, not low, my heart rate was 125 but oxygen levels fine. Tummy is cramping and head really hurting.

Im so scared to be here. I have no one here with me as usual. My mum is very dismissive so wouldn’t come with me and my partner is at home with our DS.

I feel like a nuisance and I already want to cry because they must be sick of me by now. I don’t want to be seen as that ‘hypochondriac’ but it’s my only option because my GP always advises it’s A&E I need and not them.

Over the last two months I have lost £6,000 in monthly recurring revenue and I spend my life on the sofa or on the toilet. I am becoming so heavily depressed because I need help.

I don’t have friends nearby because I’ve recently moved. I have no one to be here to advocate for me and I become so nervous now that I struggle to talk without blubbering.

Please, I need help tonight, if anyone has any wide words on how I can best advocate myself, how I get them to listen, what I can say to make them listen, I would so appreciate it.

I am no longer coping and am at a point where I no longer want to be here.

I’m so sorry to post again. At this point it’s one of my only outlets and I don’t know where else to turn.

OP, I was so horrified to read your post.

I don’t know where you are in the UK but I feel like coming there and advocating for you. This is utter madness that you’re in this much pain and distress and not being taken seriously. The NHS is entirely broken.

itsgettingweird · 12/12/2023 20:59

I'd ask them directly why this is classed as non urgent.

Say is it really not urgent when someone is causing themselves a head injury due to dizziness from blood loss?

Ask them for a copy of the NICe guidelines re rectal bleeding for your reassurance

AdoraBell · 12/12/2023 21:00

You are not a nuisance. I’m sorry that your mum is being dismissive and that the hospital doctor treated you so badly.

WimbyAce · 12/12/2023 21:00

Have they actually given any kind of diagnosis as this sounds horrendous? I can't believe you are being treated this poorly. Like another poster said could you go to a different hospital?

MindHowYouGoes · 12/12/2023 21:03

I’m so sorry you’re in this position! It’s so scary when you see all that blood I can’t imagine how hard it is that nobody is taking you seriously

WWYDIYWMRN · 12/12/2023 21:03

I'm another one who feels like turning up and advocating for you. This is disgusting. I second pals and a formal complaint. Email pals as soon as you can

MissyB1 · 12/12/2023 21:05

What hospital are you in? Dh is a Gastroenterologist, he says you must not under any circumstances be discharged. The colorectal team need to see you with the Gastro team and get you sorted. On DH’s ward he would call the colorectal surgeon to come and see you with himself. They would then agree a plan together and put it into action.