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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP is pissed off because I sent my food back

57 replies

bagpuss90 · 11/12/2023 22:08

So we went out with my DPs friends tonight for a Christmas meal- their treat . We went to a well known pub chain. My meal arrived and it was still half frozen . I obviously sent it back . I was really polite about it and it was all sorted. When we got home DP had a moan at me , he reckons I embarrassed him and I should have just eaten it and that I came across as ungrateful. I truly was polite about it-I’ve heard to many stories about what kitchen staff do to food sent back by shitty customers . I even apologised to our hosts. The fact that I could well have got food poisoning doesn’t seem to matter - he’s gone off to bed with the arse - god give me strength .

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 11/12/2023 22:09

This is the kind of thing my ex would have acted up about. There's a reason he's an ex.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 11/12/2023 22:10

Good god what a man child. I'm never one for making a fuss in a restaurant but half frozen?! That's inedible!

TomeTome · 11/12/2023 22:11

Well isn’t he silly? Just ignore it.

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 11/12/2023 22:11

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug
Nope me neither- but yeh ….

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 11/12/2023 22:12

He's an idiot. Of course you were right to send back half frozen food. To be honest that would raise questions for me over his priorities- making sure you're OK and your needs are met or making sure everyone else is happy at your expense. He should have been backing you up.

Is he awkward in general in social situations or is he just being a bit of a dick?

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 11/12/2023 22:13

TomeTom
I'm trying to 😩

OP posts:
WorriedMum231 · 11/12/2023 22:13

DP is being utterly bizarre.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 11/12/2023 22:13

We used to take turns (3 couples) of where we ate out.. Followed the car of the ones who were choosing.. Once refused to even get out of the car at Wacky Warehouse.. Paid for a babysitter and wasn't eating surrounded by screaming dc.. Dh (now ex) was livid... Yanbu op.

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 11/12/2023 22:13

Lavender14
He's being a dick

OP posts:
gamerchick · 11/12/2023 22:14

Tell him fine, next time you'll make sure you just swap with him and he can eat it. Job done.

Stringagal · 11/12/2023 22:15

What was it?

ALongHardWinter · 11/12/2023 22:16

Seriously? He expected you to eat food that was frozen? 😯

RightOnTheEdge · 11/12/2023 22:17

I work for a well known pub chain OP and you are definitely not being unreasonable.
Your DP is a big baby. The only one that's embarrassing is him!

salamirose · 11/12/2023 22:18

He should have swapped dishes with you if it was really ok

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 11/12/2023 22:19

Stringagal
it was a curry

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 11/12/2023 22:20

So is he often this immature and frankly uninterested in your health and well-being? What a total jerk.

Whattodo112222 · 11/12/2023 22:20

My ex was utterly furious with me one time for letting someone go in front of in a queue to pay because my order was taking a while to prepare. Apparently I was a total mug for doing so. He didn't speak to me for four days afterwards.

Your partner is creating a situation out of nothing.

Don't apologise and carry about your business. Let him sulk.

GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR · 11/12/2023 22:22

Years ago when I worked in hospitality I'd have been mortified if someone had to send their food back for being HALF FROZEN. Of course you were right to send it back, doubt the friends treating you would want to pay for a half frozen meal either. Your dp sounds like a twat. Does he often pick on you after events with other people?

Catsandcuddles · 11/12/2023 22:25

Not unreasonable at all, he clearly doesn't care much about your health does he?

A frozen uncooked meal would have likely made you unwell, tasted awful and worse case scenario given you food poisoning.

Yalta · 11/12/2023 22:30

When we got home DP had a moan at me , he reckons I embarrassed him and I should have just eaten it and that I came across as ungrateful

Ungrateful is such a strange word to use when a transaction has taken place and you have paid for the ingredients, cooking and serving of a meal

Struggling to see where being ungrateful comes into it.

hsapposhit · 11/12/2023 22:31

He's a wanker.
My ex went on like this when I sent food back once - it was chicken which wasn't cooked through. He said I should have just eaten it and I embarrassed myself and him.
That's one of the myriad of reasons why he's an ex.

Museum10665 · 11/12/2023 22:32

food being cooked properly is the most importance

hsapposhit · 11/12/2023 22:32

What would he have said if you had cooked him a meal and it was frozen in the middle? He'd have eaten it and not said anything would he?
Nope, didn't think so.

LongDarkTeatime · 11/12/2023 22:36

If you’re cooking tomorrow night OP, might his plate be 1/2 frozen?
Petty, I know.

FictionalCharacter · 11/12/2023 22:36

Of course you should send food back if it's unsatisfactory. Does he not understand that paying customers have the right to receive what they paid for ie edible, decent quality food? Why would he be embarrassed? It's not like you screamed and threw the food on the floor!

My DH is way too passive about things like this and if it were his meal he'd probably just not eat it and say nothing. But he would never try to stop me sending a meal back or say I was embarrassing.