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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP is pissed off because I sent my food back

57 replies

bagpuss90 · 11/12/2023 22:08

So we went out with my DPs friends tonight for a Christmas meal- their treat . We went to a well known pub chain. My meal arrived and it was still half frozen . I obviously sent it back . I was really polite about it and it was all sorted. When we got home DP had a moan at me , he reckons I embarrassed him and I should have just eaten it and that I came across as ungrateful. I truly was polite about it-I’ve heard to many stories about what kitchen staff do to food sent back by shitty customers . I even apologised to our hosts. The fact that I could well have got food poisoning doesn’t seem to matter - he’s gone off to bed with the arse - god give me strength .

OP posts:
Original poster
bagpuss90 · 11/12/2023 22:39

Thanks everyone - I needed to vent

OP posts:
vipersnest1 · 11/12/2023 22:47

Ask him if it's ok if you swap with him if there's the same situation in the future....
I'm betting he wouldn't want to.
You could also ask him why he think it's ok for you to risk food poisoning for the sake of keeping quiet while you're at it.

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 11/12/2023 22:48

Yep, ciok dinner tomorrow and give him his half frozen.

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/12/2023 23:25

"My meal arrived and it was still half frozen ."

Then that is how I would be serving his meals from now on.

TeaGinandFags · 11/12/2023 23:41

Whataretheodds · 11/12/2023 22:09

This is the kind of thing my ex would have acted up about. There's a reason he's an ex.

Ditto.

My ex did this to me when I returned a carbonara. There was nothing wrong with it but for some reason I just couldn't eat it. I apologised profusely to the waiter who was absolutely lovely but Mr Arse made a scene. I blamed being in late pregnancy and we were in an Italian restaurant and the waiting staff understood perfectly.

I was annoyed because he was the only person who was upset while the waiter was in my corner.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 11/12/2023 23:41

Would he have preferred you complain direct to Uncle Ben?

Babyroobs · 11/12/2023 23:43

That's ridiculous. Of course you don't want to eat half frozen food. I do have a couple of friends who are really picky in restaurants and it sometimes seems like they complain about anything and I do find it embarrassing but it sounds like you had a totally justifiable reason for sending it back.

DuesToTheDirt · 11/12/2023 23:47

Wow he's nuts. I'm no foodie but I wouldn't eat a half-frozen curry.

Avatartar · 11/12/2023 23:47

What is it with arsey men - the only answer is to give him a mostly frozen meal

Thenewmags · 11/12/2023 23:54

I had a friend who complained about a hair in her food at my birthday dinner and I completely backed her up!

I’d expect the same support from any friend or partner I had too, and would seriously reconsider any relationship I had if me raising reasonable complaints in public was “so embarrassing” and ruined their evening.

It says something when the person you’re with is more concerned with the imagined discomfort of everyone around you and pleasing strangers, than they are with your safety and well-being. That’s a major red flag. Coming to think of it I had an ex a bit like that, two snarling dogs jumped out at me on a trail and the owner apologised while struggling to hold them back. I was visibly shaken and yet his first response was to tell the women it was OK when it actually it wasn’t since she could barely control the dogs 🙄

AdoraBell · 12/12/2023 00:00

Why the fuck was he embarrassed and why he not embarrassed if you had good poisoning?

whynotwhatknot · 12/12/2023 00:32

my dh is like this wont say a word if his food is cold or whatever-doesnt want to make a fuss-its so annoying

heartbroken22 · 12/12/2023 00:38

Has he had food poisoning?

TomatoSandwiches · 12/12/2023 00:44

He sounds a bit pathetic.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 12/12/2023 01:08

You did nothing wrong and he is more concerned in how he comes across to friends and if you embarrassed him than if you got food poisoned and who wants to eat a cold curry.
He is out of order and he needs to apologize to you and stop his childish tantrum.
Is he always like this, stand your ground calmly and tell him why would he expect you to eat cold food.

He sounds ridiculous and would tell him so. Let him sulk as he is childish and making a big thing out of nothing.

Geppili · 12/12/2023 04:12

Dickhead

reclaimmyboobs · 12/12/2023 06:25

My ex would have been a dick about this. I once burned the roof of my mouth on a pub meal – no warning that it was hotter than the sun, it literally took the skin off my mouth and I couldn’t speak for a week. He refused to say anything for me at the time and told me I was embarrassing him by not speaking; insisted we carry on with the evening. Dumped him the minute I could speak again.

makeminealargeoneagain · 12/12/2023 06:38

He's an idiot. You did the right thing.

mogsrus · 12/12/2023 06:50

Far better to return it than try eating, you may have bet up all night,then he probably would have said that you shouldn’t have eaten it

NaughtybutNice77 · 12/12/2023 07:03

Your husbands behaviour would have given me the ick. If he vrings it up again tell him to stop making this about him. If he feels uncomfortable he should speak to a counsellor

Bankholidayboredom23 · 12/12/2023 07:22

I know someone who ended up in hospital for a month with food poisoning with something that wasn't defrosted and cooked properly. Your DP is an arse but I think you've got that now.

Olika · 12/12/2023 07:24

So what did he want you to do instead? Eat half frozen food?

listsandbudgets · 12/12/2023 07:46

LongDarkTeatime · 11/12/2023 22:36

If you’re cooking tomorrow night OP, might his plate be 1/2 frozen?
Petty, I know.

You know the old saying... Revenge is a dish best served cold!!

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 12/12/2023 08:04

If you're paying for food then why shouldn't you send it back if there's a problem? I've had to, on one occasion the gammon I'd ordered was burned underneath. They'd just run out of gammon steaks so I ended up getting a more expensive meal for the price of the gammon. Result!
Like you, I was polite and nice about it as I understand mistakes can happen. When I told a friend about it later (it was relevant to the conversation, I didn't just bring it up) she said "Ooo you're brave!"
Weird. I have no problem returning anything faulty, after all I've paid for it.

phoenixrosehere · 12/12/2023 08:48

YANBU

Had this happened and watched the manager put my food under a heat lamp (DH and I were seated in a clear view of the kitchen). Having gone through food safety training and worked in a restaurant, I know five minutes under a heat lamp was going to do very little for a roast chicken that was obviously frozen on the inside and lukewarm vegetables. Told him again and he said I could order something else. Ordered fish and chips and the batter was not only hard but once I my knife finally cut into it, it was practically hollow but the chips were at least hot. Showed it to DH and he called the manager over. Again, I showed this to the manager and he said he could take it back. Considering what I saw him do, I didn’t trust him to fix this and it had already been almost an hour of us being there and me not having anything so ate the chips. Manager dropped off the receipt, charged us for both the meals I ordered and DH went back and had him charge only for the chips.

It could have been a skit on a comedy show or seen as a prank. No apology whatsoever and never stepped foot back in there. It was a Wetherspoons, standard pub food so how someone could mess it up so horrendously was astounding.