To be upset and disappointed in the store experience?

[inthedrunktankk]

Me and my partner went to Paris as a birthday treat and he said he would get me a purse in a designer store (I have like one other designer bag that I bought years ago when living at home so it was a very rare splurge)

We walked up to the store and the man at the door didn’t hold it open, so a bit confused we stepped back and a couple walked around us and the door was held open for them straight away.

We walked in behind them, I was looking at the glass cabinet when I was eventually approached and I asked to view one. He reluctantly got it out, didn’t talk me through it. A vast contrast to how the other customer was being talked to behind me regarding her purchase.

All other customers had drinks, instead I got the previous customers used water bottle and glass set down in front of me. I questioned why we didn’t get a drink and was told “I forgot”

We did buy it but only because I knew my partner had organised this and I didn’t want him to think I was hurt that they clearly treated me as different because I wasn’t dripping in designer and assumed I wasn’t worth the experience as their commission from me was meaningless.

Aibu to be disappointed?

It really isn’t the norm in high end stores. Most of my experiences have been lovely, irrespective of what I’ve been wearing, which has included filthy old clothes that I had been decorating in (there was a reason for that!) I can think of only 2 notable exceptions over 20 years. The first in a very well known shoe store when I asked the assistant if they had a particular shoe in my size. He very obviously looked me up and down and sniffed “ no” and walked away. DH followed him, told him that he was clearly not cut out for the service industry and we left and bought shoes elsewhere. That was around 20 years ago and I still remember it so yes, it is awful when they do that. The second was actually a couple of weeks ago when bag shopping in a high end store. I knew exactly what I wanted but the assistant insisted that they no longer made that particular bag, it wasn’t in stock anywhere in the world so I couldn’t have it. I could however have this other eye wateringly expensive bag, that I just didn’t like. She was extremely pushy to the point of being rude so we left. Went to a department store which has a concession of the same brand, was served by a lovely woman who amazingly managed to produce the exact bag I wanted and gave DH and I a glass of fizz whilst she went and wrapped it up. So I really don’t think it’s a high end brand thing, it’s a person who shouldn’t be in that job thing. I am sorry you had a disappointing experience though, it really shouldn’t happen anywhere and it probably won’t again but do be prepared to walk away if they are rude to you xx

These threads crop up occasionally, I'm absolutely sure it's a matter of perception.

I've told this story before, but in the early 90s as a teenager from a Northern city that adored high fashion and was a devotee of Vogue I spied a pair of Gucci clogs that I had to have, I saved up, and got the train down to London and went to the Gucci store to buy the buggers.

And I was treated like a queen.

And always have been in any kind of shop. For no other reason than I believe that I can be in that shop. I hate the old 'you're just a shop girl' or 'big mistake' bollockry.

It's inverse snobbery. It smacks of insecurity.

My daughter finds it hilarious how well I'm treated in shops, because I only ever go to browse, unless I have an appointment.

BUT it's easy to make an appointment at any shop if you're in a particular city and want to look at a bag, purse, dress, whatever. Go to the website and book an appointment, it's not hard or exclusive. I do find all manner of stores very welcoming, it's an exchange, and the people that work in them aren't generally dicks, it's the fact that people see them as such can cause a bit of push-back.

I'm a bit puzzled why the shop assistant needed to 'talk you through' the purse when he got it out of the cabinet? Don't you just put money and cards in a purse?

I am also sorry you bought the bag, OP. Once you had inspected it you could have bought it online. Thank you for sharing that this was at YSL.

To add to PPs, I first visited Tiffany’s NYC as a teenager with a friend. For some reason we were separated from the rest of my family. Even at 15 yo we got the same wonderful reception as other PPs are discussing. My one designer foray has been to Prada and that was also lovely.

I can well believe that certain shops in Paris, like elsewhere, are snooty and I prefer not to patronise them. But I have never found the city as a whole snooty.

I assume this is all part of the designer experience. My MIL is a sucker for this sort of thing; I find it hilarious.

Why do you find it hilarious?

I'm interested to know why you would find the fact that your MiL enjoys being cosseted a little bit in shops hilarious.

Is it funny? Do you literally LOL?

I do on occasion LOL about this sort of thing, yes. The idea of being ‘talked through’ a bag or an item of clothing is just absurd to me personally.

I adore my MIL btw and she knows it.

This won’t go down well but I’ll say it anyway. I really don’t get this need to be fawned over when buying things you already want. I mean, what exactly did you want him to “talk you through”? Here’s where you put the cards and the change goes here 😂.

I’ve bought plenty of designer bags and I can’t particularly remember any of this fawning, nor would I want it. I suppose I’m usually asked if I want any help which I usually decline whilst I have a look and then when I want to actually hold something I’ll call someone over and ask. If I’m offered a drink I usually decline unless I was planning on spending ages in there or buying something custom which would take a while.

I couldn’t give a shiny shite whether a sales assistant thinks I’m poor or not, unless they’re actually rude to me, which they never have been, it’s just not something that I care about. Maybe it’s a confidence thing and some people need to be validated that they are special by a high end store?

It makes me cringe a lot to be honest when people think they have got one over on the shop assistant by making a “witty remark” or taking their money elsewhere. I can guarantee YSL don’t care a jot if Sarah from Hull wasn’t given a free Prosecco and bought her £500 purse from another shop. I’m not saying this to be nasty, but there are plenty of customers who will still be happy to buy and these kinds of shops are happy to maintain their exclusive image.

I worked in sales for a high end product. Not fashion though.

I treated everyone the same. If they walked into the rather intimidating showroom I assumed they wanted to buy. I had the best sales results because of it. I was also the only member of staff to recognise the soap stars, so again big sales for me! No commission though, just the glory.

I don't have designer fashion money, or a particular interest in it. But I'd imagine it would be similar to going to an appliance shop and wanting an assistant talk you through an expensive purchase.

For a handbag, maybe how spacious it is, compartments, materials used (leather Vs vegan leather might be a big deal to some), if it has a nice heavy feel to it, what repair/replacement guarantee it has, how they recommend you care for/clean it...

The worst shopping experience I ever had was in Russell & Bromley, I went in to try a pair of shoes on that I'd seen, was served by a delightful assistant, they were the last pair available in my size, she got them and as I was trying them on a woman came in and asked the manager if she could buy that particular style and size.

There was some kerfuffleing between the assistant and the manager as they were showing as available, but were on my feet at the time.

I did say to the woman, that I was trying them on, but if I didn't want them, they were all hers.

She wasn't happy and stormed out, the shoes didn't fit me very well so it was a no from me & the manageress then had a go at me for losing her sale!

It was absolutely bonkers.

I emailed head-office because the manageress was so horrible to the sales assistant that served me and also to me as a customer. I got an anodyne response.

R&B aren't even high-end, I haven't shopped there since though. It was all utterly bizarre.

You seem to have missed the point of that PP’s post: they make you feel like second class povvos and you still give them your cash on hugely overpriced stuff and help that rude assistant make his commission targets?

Buy what you want, but it’s silly to complain about being badly treated when you STILL made the purchase 🤷🏽‍♀️

I read that in David Attenborough’s voice.

@inthedrunktankk I get it. It’s the experience and being treated differently. I’m glad that you got the purse that you wanted and I hope that you enjoyed the rest of your trip.

I bought a Chanel bag in the Chanel shop in Manchester and they were so lovely! There was a woman in there buying loads and they still treated us the same, champagne etc

There isn't a Chanel shop in Manchester..

There's a concession in Selfridges.

I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s becoming a very common experience in designer stores. Next time walk out.

There are certain places I no longer shop at because of this new idea that I have to beg in order get served or talked to.

I don’t expect fawning, I do expect common courtesy when I’m dropping ££££’s!

Hermés are the worst for this, Louis Vuitton it depends on the store. Queue to get in, wait to see someone for ages- then you are usually treated well but it’s boring hanging around when you just want to buy a thing you’ve seen!

Parisians are also not renowned for customer service.

Next time, remind yourself they are shop assistants not gatekeepers to happiness and walk out. They don’t deserve your cash.

Plenty of places have doormen who open the door for you. They work as security too but just wear a suit to look more welcoming.

But the bit that would have made me walk out isn’t the doorman though. It’s the dirty glass. Fair enough if you had no drink at all. But he gave you someone else’s left overs.

@Galiana oh I do apologise for mis wording the concessions stand 😂😂

Pretty Woman film vibes