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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist he replaces it?

37 replies

Farrah233 · 11/12/2023 09:53

My P of many years, our relationship is on thin ice and I don't think we'll be together for much longer as I'm losing tolerance for things like this.

He has very little common sense.

I bought myself a really nice bike 4 or 5 months ago, it was a splurge for me. I also bought a thick heavy duty lock. It stays in the blocks bike storage area.

P occasionally borrows the bike to pop to the shop or wherever. He takes the lock and keys with him.

He took the bike for half an hour yesterday and upon returning didn't bother to lock it up. It has now been stolen. I suspect my thug neighbour has something to do with it but I can't prove anything so the police won't be able to help.

AIBU to insist that he replaces it immediately, even if it leaves him short for Christmas?

OP posts:
Headband · 11/12/2023 09:54

Yes of course he should replace it.

NWQM · 11/12/2023 09:56

I would be fuming too but what does leave short for Christmas mean? If it would impact on your family I would probably say wait ...and maybe get a better bike in the sales. If he just couldn't go out and have fun I might be stricter

Does he at least acknowledge what a rubbish and stupid thing it was to do?

Whaleandsnail6 · 11/12/2023 09:56

Yes he should replace it but cant you also report to the police and claim on house insurance?

IveOnlyEverHeardOutwithONHere · 11/12/2023 09:56

Yeah damn right. Is he this careless with his own property or is it just yours? I’d bloody well make him buy me a new one, and the same one, then I’d dump his useless arse, as it sounds like you’re on the verge of it anyway.

BarbaraofSeville · 11/12/2023 09:59

Whaleandsnail6 · 11/12/2023 09:56

Yes he should replace it but cant you also report to the police and claim on house insurance?

Insurance usually requires bikes to be fixed to an immovable object using a good quality lock and chain for them to payout.

Bikes are too attractive to thieves and easily stolen for them to pay out for carelessness.

GreatGateauxsby · 11/12/2023 10:02

Yanbu. Once replaced do not lend it to him again.

ChateauDuMont · 11/12/2023 10:05

If he hasn't offered to replace it immediately he is a nasty git.

kweeble · 11/12/2023 10:10

I would insist he replaces it now and never uses it again - he may think he has ownership if he does pay up!

Original poster
Farrah233 · 11/12/2023 10:10

No offer to replace it or even an apology.

I asked what he was thinking and his response was "alright! Bloody hell"

He'll be licking his wounds now because he's in the dog house.

Insurance usually requires bikes to be fixed to an immovable object using a good quality lock and chain for them to payout.

Yep.

OP posts:
Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 11/12/2023 10:11

He didn't offer?

TheOccupier · 11/12/2023 10:12

YANBU to make him replace it. And if the block's bike shed doesn't have CCTV, you should lobby the building management for this.

Original poster
Farrah233 · 11/12/2023 10:18

He hasn't offered to replace it no. I can't remember if I told him he would be or not. I was so bloody angry it's a bit of a blur and I had to leave to get to work. He certainly will be replacing it though. I don't want anything from him for Christmas that isn't my bike.

OP posts:
Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 11/12/2023 10:26

Farrah233 · 11/12/2023 10:18

He hasn't offered to replace it no. I can't remember if I told him he would be or not. I was so bloody angry it's a bit of a blur and I had to leave to get to work. He certainly will be replacing it though. I don't want anything from him for Christmas that isn't my bike.

I hope you don't accept a replacement bike as your Christmas present!

Ohtobetwentytwo · 11/12/2023 10:30

Um, no, he doesnt get to replace it as your christmas present. He replaces it IN ADDITION to your present. He can sell his own crap to make up a chrostmas shortfall.

AquaMandy · 11/12/2023 10:30

Hopefully the thin ice just broke. He sounds like a prick. Grow some better standards.

tachycardigan · 11/12/2023 10:37

Yep, he needs to replace it asap.

And don’t get him anything for Christmas.

And yes, dump him asap. Do it soon so you can have the new year without this bellend.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 11/12/2023 10:40

Yet another example on here of a complete and utter shit human.

Original poster
Farrah233 · 11/12/2023 10:47

I don't know how his utter incompetence escaped me for so many years. He is a total bloody idiot.

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 11/12/2023 13:05

Farrah233 · 11/12/2023 10:18

He hasn't offered to replace it no. I can't remember if I told him he would be or not. I was so bloody angry it's a bit of a blur and I had to leave to get to work. He certainly will be replacing it though. I don't want anything from him for Christmas that isn't my bike.

Er, he should be replacing your bike AND getting you a Christmas present. The replacement bike isn't a bloody Christmas present, it's replacing something you originally bloody paid for!

I can't believe he didn't say immediately that he'd replace it. What a twat!

JenniferJuniper80 · 11/12/2023 13:08

Do you have any home insurance? Might that cover your bike?
I hope you had the bike security stamped with your postcode though at the very least.
Report to the police, at least if you spot your bike you can call the police and they'll have a record of the theft.
Your partner is an idiot.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 11/12/2023 14:45

Of course he should replace it
It would be the final nail in the coffin for me
Give yourself the best Christmas present by dumping him

dontgobaconmyheart · 11/12/2023 14:50

If you don't want to be with him then end it.

It doesn't sound like he's likely to replace the bike however much you insist, if he hasn't even apologised or accepted responsibility. I'd return his presents and move on.

BMW6 · 11/12/2023 14:52

Has he got something of value that you can sell?.........

wildwestpioneer · 11/12/2023 14:55

Of course he should replace it, bloody idiot

Mrsttcno1 · 11/12/2023 15:17

Maybe I am the odd one out here but this wouldn’t be “relationship ending” for me, nor would I be insisting he replaces it RIGHT NOW if that would leave him short for Christmas- which is literally in 2 weeks. Unless you use the bike every day to get to and from work in which case I’d expect him to figure out an alternative for you, I don’t see the sense making an already unpleasant situation worse, spoiling everyone’s Christmas over it.

Yes I’d be annoyed and DH would replace it if it was us, but I know my DH would feel bad enough about his mistake without me having a go at him on top of that. It’s a stupid careless mistake and we all make those sometimes even when we absolutely don’t mean to, so maybe this is the straw that broke the camels back for you but on its own I don’t think this is a huge deal. But obviously depends on your relationship.