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Original poster

His response to his ex... what do you make of this?

60 replies

Landoftime · 11/12/2023 00:50

Newish partner, things are going well and all the rest if it. However I unintentionally noticed his ex in his phone messages. It was her telling him she misses him and he responded with two kisses. What do you think of this? I just looking for outside perspectives. That seems to be the only interaction since they split and I'm certain they haven't seen eachother since. Ami giving this too much thought?

OP posts:
JurassicFantastic · 11/12/2023 08:56

If their relationship was starting to fizzle out before you got together, that implies they were not formally separated when you did get together. Doesn't every cheat tell the other woman/man that their relationship is fizzing out?

And you may have seen him send this one message, but how do you know it was the only message unless you checked?

It sounds like he hasn't always been faithful in relationships and you don't trust him

ChiIIieP · 11/12/2023 12:45

I must say you've got super good eye sight to see her message, see him reply, and know that there was no other messages since their split.....you could tell all of that from just sitting by him?

I think the fact that you're likely checking his messages is the biggest red flag, sorry.

Original poster
Landoftime · 11/12/2023 18:27

I think I expected him no ignore it - I don't know what I expected.

OP posts:
Original poster
Landoftime · 26/12/2023 14:34

He is now reacting to her posts on Instagram (she has an open profile).

OP posts:
KylieJennersMakeUpSponge · 26/12/2023 14:35

They’re getting back together OP. Sorry

lto2019 · 26/12/2023 15:58

If you were close enough to see her message come through and him reply - why did you not say anything to him if it bothered you. Hey do you miss her too ? If they have not been apart long then she may well be missing him if it is their first Christmas apart. She might miss him but not want to get back together - she might miss and want to. Why not ask? So what if he is interacting with her on Instagram exes don't have to become sworn enemies. The fact you are looking - is more odd.

Original poster
Landoftime · 26/12/2023 16:09

@lto2019

"Hey do you miss her too"

He's not exactly going to tell me if he does, is he!?🙄

OP posts:
ChiIIieP · 26/12/2023 16:12

The fact that you're checking these things is a red flag. Unhealthy. Whatever the outcome.

ThickPinkSocks · 26/12/2023 16:16

Fuck that OP, I’m be telling him to do one.

lto2019 · 26/12/2023 16:19

So instead of asking him and judging his response - you follow what he does on instagram, post a thread on here? I find it hard to believe you just happened to see her message and happened to see his response as he was sitting so close and openly did it but you can't ask him his feelings about her.

FairyMaclary · 26/12/2023 16:19

How fizzled out were they?

Were they still sort of together when you met? But nothing physical happened with you two until he ‘officially’ split with her?

I ask this because if he enjoyed you giving him ego kibbles, while his relationship was ‘over’ he will enjoy her ego kibbles too. Men who constantly need the black hole inside of them filling aren’t suitable as partners. They rewrite their history and truth to suit themselves.

Sweetglossy · 26/12/2023 16:35

Catza · 11/12/2023 08:30

A few months in and you are already checking his messages? Yeah, this is never going to work.

🤣🤣🤣

Mazuslongtoenail · 26/12/2023 16:37

Barleysugar86 · 11/12/2023 01:30

I put two kisses as a kind acknowledgment but to discourage any further conversation. I would see this as him not wanting to continue the conversation personally, whilst also not trying to be rude.

I agree with this. I see it as a conversation ender while remaining on good terms. Designed to prevent further discussion or a blow up.

Olika · 26/12/2023 17:03

Personally I would end it. He is still hung on his ex too much.

Original poster
Landoftime · 26/12/2023 17:03

I agree with this. I see it as a conversation ender while remaining on good terms. Designed to prevent further discussion or a blow up

Why would he be interacting with her on social media if it was a conversation ender. He is the one doing the initiating the interaction by reacting to her social media pictures instead of just ignoring them?

OP posts:
ChanelNo19EDT · 26/12/2023 17:05

Barleysugar86 · 11/12/2023 01:30

I put two kisses as a kind acknowledgment but to discourage any further conversation. I would see this as him not wanting to continue the conversation personally, whilst also not trying to be rude.

That's how I'd read it. He did not say that he misses her.

blackfluffycat · 26/12/2023 17:09

Do you mean you were sat next to him and say them texting?

I've never seen my husband's text convo in18 years.

Notimeforaname · 26/12/2023 17:10

Why would he be interacting with her on social media if it was a conversation ender. He is the one doing the initiating the interaction by reacting to her social media pictures instead of just ignoring them?

Because he wants to. And has a right to.
If you have a problem with this, you need to tell him.
If your goal is to stop him talking to her completely, yabu and controlling but If your goal is to get some reassurance and move on, you can only get that from him.

So, talk to you partner or torment yourself wondering..

Iwantamarshmallowman · 26/12/2023 17:22

He's keeping his options open. by sending kisses is he is encouraging her without committing either way. Personally, I'd run a mile. If he was committed to you, he would have told her he was seeing someone.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/12/2023 18:07

He likes you and he's happy to stay with you, bit in case it doesn't work out or he gets bored, she'll be up for a fuck

TravelInHope · 26/12/2023 21:52

Go non contact.

Original poster
Landoftime · 27/12/2023 00:01

@TravelInHope Sorry, did you post on the wrong thread?

OP posts:
TravelInHope · 27/12/2023 07:54

Landoftime · 27/12/2023 00:01

@TravelInHope Sorry, did you post on the wrong thread?

Ok, ‘ run a mile’ if that works better for you. Either way, LTB.

WillYouPutYourCoatOn · 27/12/2023 08:18

She doesn't even know about you.

In fact, I bet most of his social circle doesn't.

KingsleyBorder · 27/12/2023 08:23

If the relationship had not finished fizzling out when you and he got together, you did overlap!

Why are you so unclear about when they split up?