To ask when you know its time to put your pet to sleep?

[Cleanbedsheets]

My dog is 13, she is now completely blind and yesterday she had a fit amd temporarily lost the use of her back legs. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever witnessed. I rushed her to the emergency vets and she wasn't very pleasant. Said she is an old girl, and she can feel hard lumps in her mammary area which may or may not be cancer. She then asked if I would be taking her home or putting her to sleep.

I was shocked at the question, she is old but she still has a good life.

Then I looked at her tonight and noticed that she hadn't really moved all day. She has eaten and drank but has barely engaged with us and has peed on rug twice. Which is unlike her.

I am taking her to my usual vets tomorrow to have some advice and get her checked over.

Dp amd I have both agreed that we wouldn't want her going under anaesthetic to confirm if lumps are cancer, given her age.

She seems so sad and no energy. I don't want her to suffer but maybe I could push it out a bit longer if she isn't in any pain.

What are your thoughts?

I’m so sorry op x

When you do the kindest thing by putting down a trusted dearest friend both your hearts will break as you say goodbye. Hold their paws and look into their eyes as they go to sleep. They have given you their love all their life and will you to them. Being with them in these final frightening moments is the least you can do.
Your heart will break. Such is love.
I still cry remembering doing this with my dearest Zoe.

We never did and all of our dogs just faded. But they were never in pain, just really old, blind, slightly out of their minds.

@Cleanbedsheets I’m really sorry for your loss.

It’s so awful, but she gave you years of loyalty and joy, and you did the right thing to let her go.

These little fur balls really do break our hearts. ❤️

My condolences, OP.
Sending you love and comfort.
Your lovely dog is at peace now. She had a great life.

I came to offer advice but see you now need support :(

I'm so so sorry, you absolutely did the right thing & really when you are faced with the decision 24hrs is usually more than enough, but sometimes it isn't & sometimes it's too much. Really really there is nothing more that you could have done.

These things are so utterly heartbreaking, I saw your post yesterday & couldn't bear to read it, then tonight I thought I'd offer advice but not read anyone's posts - it's so so painful & that's perfectly normal. You had a lovely friend for 13yrs & it's natural to mourn them but you mustn't feel guilt, you did the best you could in that moment.

I hope you're getting hugs & love xx

You can’t torture yourself with the “what ifs”. If you’d taken her the night before, you’d always be wondering if it was too soon. It sounds to me like she didn’t have a period of extended suffering and you did it when you knew was the right time so don’t beat yourself up about that.

If you’re remembering the traumatic stuff, it can be really helpful just to remind yourself that yes, that was a horrible time, but it’s over now. She’s at peace. Then remember something happier like walkies, or play time, to try and cover the traumatic memory. If you can practice that it’ll help the traumatic memory fade.

You did the right thing for her.

I'm so sorry OP. We aren't far behind you with our old girl, we nearly lost her the other week due to infection (she has IBD), but she is rallying atm. We are taking one day at a time.

I think it's a good idea to think on it. It's a huge decision and would have been an injustice to your pup to just do it then and there. It sounds like she needs you to make a decision for her and once you do, make sure she has the best few last days. I'm so sorry. I often think about when this time will come with my little boy and it breaks my heart.

Be kind to yourself and try not to dwell on hindsight (easier said than done I know), you did what you thought was best for her, you couldn't do anything more, she is at peace now.

Sorry for your loss x

It is so hard. We had to have our DBoycat put to sleep and honestly I think we left it too late.

He was in pain and very little quality of life in the end with bastard cancer.

He had all the tests but we just couldn't put him through chemotherapy. But I really struggled with the decision because it seems so unfair. I don't think I've reconciled it yet but there was nothing else we could do.

He had a fabulous life. I loved him more than I love most humans. And they never live long enough.

But it is kinder and your last act of love.

I'm so sorry.

Oh @Cleanbedsheets , I so feel your pain. It's all too raw now, but actually, it does seem things deteriorated more quickly than you could possibly have anticipated (if I've read your posts correctly?) so you have nothing to blame yourself for.

You did the best for your beloved pet as soon as you could. No one could have done more than that. It won't be much of a comfort now (we've been there with our pets too) but it will get easier.

And I know pet cremation is a contentious issue, but we have had all our beloved pets cremated, and even though it was hard at the time (the DC especially were devastated) a while down the line, it was a comfort to be able to know they were 'still there' in the window, overlooking the garden they loved.

Sending love, unmumsnetty hugs and to you, OP x

Better a month too soon than a moment too late.

Animals are so stoic - giving them a dignified exit from this world is one of the most important things we can do for them, and I tend to do it when daily functions are deteriorating to a point they impact quality of life.

Oh op I'm so sorry. It's an horrible thing to go through. one of the hardest things I ever had to do saying goodbye to my old boy.

Maybe try and find some photos or videos of good times and concentrate on those but be kind to yourself - everything is very raw