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Original poster

To ask when you know its time to put your pet to sleep?

89 replies

Cleanbedsheets · 10/12/2023 22:24

My dog is 13, she is now completely blind and yesterday she had a fit amd temporarily lost the use of her back legs. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever witnessed. I rushed her to the emergency vets and she wasn't very pleasant. Said she is an old girl, and she can feel hard lumps in her mammary area which may or may not be cancer. She then asked if I would be taking her home or putting her to sleep.

I was shocked at the question, she is old but she still has a good life.

Then I looked at her tonight and noticed that she hadn't really moved all day. She has eaten and drank but has barely engaged with us and has peed on rug twice. Which is unlike her.

I am taking her to my usual vets tomorrow to have some advice and get her checked over.

Dp amd I have both agreed that we wouldn't want her going under anaesthetic to confirm if lumps are cancer, given her age.

She seems so sad and no energy. I don't want her to suffer but maybe I could push it out a bit longer if she isn't in any pain.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Hummusanddipdip · 11/12/2023 19:33

My thoughts are with you and your family @Cleanbedsheets sending love and strength

Haydenn · 11/12/2023 19:34

So hard, take care OP. You’ve done the kindest thing xx

Trinity69 · 11/12/2023 19:37

So sorry for your loss. It’s such a heartbreaking decision to have to make. We had our dog PTS back in August and I often think I made the decision too soon, but she knew. I’d always told her to let me know when it was time and she did, in her own way. She was only 9 but had bones and joints much older than her years.

juice92 · 11/12/2023 19:37

I am so sorry you are going through this, it is so painful seeing any sort of pet unwell and getting older.

We have always had a rule with pets, and it is when we feel they've lost their dignity. We had a dog who started wetting his bed, which made the decision for us and a cat - who after years of having an illness, but being well and happy in himself - started to be sick and lose his hair.

Losing a pet is incredibly heartbreaking, but we have the ability to stop them suffering.

I hope your usual vet was able to help you with some good advice.

juice92 · 11/12/2023 19:39

I've just read your update. I am so sorry. You must be truly heartbroken.

Fionaville · 11/12/2023 19:48

I'm so sorry for your loss. You made the right decision, it was the kindest thing to do 💐

Ardith · 11/12/2023 19:56

I imagine that I’m in the same state as the pet, and ask myself if I’d like to continue living or would rather be killed. For me, the answer was that while my cat could continue to enjoy things like sitting in the sunshine or having a cuddle, he lived despite his mobility problem and toileting issues, but when I believed he was in frequent pain and breathing was difficult, it was time for the final drugs. I would not want to live in constant pain. Perhaps it wss the wrong decision I don’t know.

I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. Whichever choice you make you will doubt yourself. Barbara Karnes (hospice nurse) has written some brilliant books on the approach to death that I found incredibly helpful, her predictions and suggestions were much more accurate than the vet’s, near the end.

BrainInAJar · 11/12/2023 19:59

I'm so sorry OP. But thank you for doing the right thing, the brave thing.

I'm going through something similar with my 17yr old cat who's just started a new medication. I'm watching her carefully to know when it's time. It could be a week, could be a year, really hard to know at the moment.

Raindancer411 · 11/12/2023 20:32

I am sorry OP

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 11/12/2023 20:47

Take comfort in the fact that you have her a good life and had the strength to do the right thing at the end

Fuzziduck · 11/12/2023 20:58

The vet said to me: better a month too early than a day too late.

DinoDays · 11/12/2023 21:17

I'm so sorry. ❤️

laclochette · 11/12/2023 21:27

Ahh I'm so sorry you're at this point, it's just so horrible and sad. The fact we have the power to make this decision is a blessing - imagine having to watch them suffer endlessly - but it can feel like such a burden. You have all my sympathies. I'm so sorry for your loss but you did a good and brave and loving thing.

I would also say that I know people who have regretted waiting as long as they did, and recognize they were holding out for their own sake at the expense of their pet's, but I don't know anyone who regrets making the decision at a time they look back on as being too early. I just don't think a loving owner would do that, and you seem a deeply loving owner. So I'm sure you will be at peace with this decision going forward. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear, dear friend. 💐

Janie1962 · 11/12/2023 21:29

So very, very sorry for your loss 💔 You did the kindest and bravest thing for your girl; you took away her pain, suffering and fear and let her go gently and with dignity.

Thinking of you and sending love and hugs xx

Ourshoddyhouse · 11/12/2023 21:30

Sending hugs x

ghostyslovesheets · 11/12/2023 21:33

I had to do this with my beloved tabby Billy - he had a brain tumour but muddled along fine for 2 years - one day I could just tell he was suffering - he started refusing to go outside, his sight wasn't great but his smell had gone and I think he was scared he couldn;t smell his surroundings, he started hiding and weeing on stuff - it broke my heart and I get it OP but someone said to me 'better a few days too early than a few days too late' - he had a nice life, he was so so loved but he was suffering and it was time.

Huge hugs OP it's so hard but maybe it's time xxxx

SeeTheWorldAnotherWay · 11/12/2023 21:33

It’s such a difficult scenario. When I was in a similar place with our last dog, I asked the vet and he said to ask myself two questions:

  1. Did the dog have a consistently good quality of life?
  2. If not, was there anything that could be done to improve it? I don’t know how helpful those questions were. About a month later I made the decision to say goodbye to my old boy, but I could have continued to come up reasons daily to not do it. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made but it is the final gesture of love you make to them. What I will say now (3 years down the line) is that I probably waited a bit longer than I really should have. The photos and videos towards the end of his life are very telling. You will make the right decision for you and your dog, trust that. My thoughts are with you xx
ghostyslovesheets · 11/12/2023 21:35

and also 'oh crap read the thread' - I'm so sorry for your loss OP

MarleyandMarleyWoooo · 11/12/2023 21:35

I am so sorry for your loss, it’s absolutely heartbreaking.

Soontobe60 · 11/12/2023 21:38

Cleanbedsheets · 11/12/2023 19:31

My baby girl was put to sleep at 10am this morning. She really suffered this morning and I regret not getting there sooner. She's at peace now, I've collected her ashes from the local pet crem and we will scatter them on her favourite beach in the new year.

We are utterly bereft

Oh love, it’s the worst isn’t it. Knowing when the right time is, is so so difficult. I’ve been there 3 times. After the last time, we decided we couldn’t get a dog again. Sending big hugs x

wildwestpioneer · 11/12/2023 21:39

I'm so sorry op. We pts our dog in August and it's one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.

We made the decision when he stopped eating or drinking. He wouldn't even eat cheese or steak, might have the occasional drink but he just wanted to sleep. The vet told us that the only thing we could do was maintain the life he had now for about 6 months, but that just wasn't fair.

When we did it the vet said that often they find themselves treating the owners and not the pets. That he thought we'd made the right choice for our pet rather than what we wanted. I took comfort in that.

JustBec · 11/12/2023 21:51

Better a week early than a day late. It is difficult but I set some boundaries around eating, drinking and dignity (toilet) and went when one or more of those wasn’t normal and no sign of improvement over a day or two. I went too late with my first dog and it has stayed with me. Went sooner with my second and don’t feel any guilt/regret. I’m sorry you are at the stage of having to make such a decision.

Original poster
Cleanbedsheets · 11/12/2023 21:55

I wish I'd taken her last night. She yelped all the way to the vets this morning. It's was so traumatic

OP posts:
JustBec · 11/12/2023 22:10

You have done the right thing for her, and your decisions were made with love in your heart. You have nothing to berate yourself for. I’m sorry I missed your update. She is out of pain and went with your love.

Hummusanddipdip · 11/12/2023 22:17

Oh @Cleanbedsheets please please don't focus on the yelps. I have had nightmares since we put our old man to sleep and I can hear his screams while he was having the seizures. I can't control them, but I try so hard not to think about that in the day.

It's hard, it's so raw because it was today, but try not to think of that last journey if it was that traumatic for you, think of the love and care she's had over the years. Think of your trips to her favourite beach, think of all the good you had with her, I promise you, you will get through this.

The pain remains, but it gets easier to live with. I'm a month down the line and still talk to him. Ds still says "you're in charge" as we leave the house. Dh finally put his bed away this week, it's been down his side of the bed since the night before we had him pts.

Please please let go of what hurts that you went through with her this morning, it will only eat you up and you don't need to do that. You gave her the best life you could. At the end of the day, she knew how loved she was and you know you've done right by her. Please remember that.

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