To let DD shave her legs

[Bootskates]

My DM wouldn't let me shave my legs until I was way into puberty. I was so self conscious after a boy at school made fun of my hairy legs and I spent 2 summers in joggers and would not entertain the idea of shorts. I always said when I had a daughter, she could remove leg/armpit hair whenever she so wished.

Now my DD is 9 (Y4) and is very self conscious about her leg hair and wants to shave. She's dark haired so she thinks it looks really bad (I don't think it looks too bad) and she's a dancer so bare legs in costumes etc are pretty much compulsory.

I really want to let her. I remember how I felt when I was a young girl hating my body hair and how unreasonable I thought my mum was. But somethings holding me back. She still feels so young (suppose I did at 11 to my mum) and I don't want to reinforce the idea that her legs look bad. Aibu to let her shave/use hair removal cream at 9?

What would you say to a hypothetical son in the same situation?

I don't see that it would make any difference. Less likely that a boy would want to at age 9 as hairy legs on men is socially acceptable, but if they did want to remove it for some reason, possibly sport related as it's normal in cycling for example, then why not?

So glad you are going to allow it.

My flatmate and I interviewed a prospective lodger many moons ago, and he said 'was she born or captured'. She had shorts on, and very hairy legs. I'm obviously a lot older and wiser now.

Of course not! It's normal to have a wobble when our children are growing up so quick shaving is a bit of a daunting one

She is young but I’d lean towards endorsing her right to make decisions about her body. We are all affected by societal expectations around gender (I’d be a fools to think they haven’t affected my decision to remove leg hair for the last 30 years) but our autonomy remains important.