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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To enjoy watching Love Actually

270 replies

Geminijust · 10/12/2023 16:09

Just watched Love Actually for the umpteenth time. Thoroughly enjoyed it as usual and got me in the festive spirit.

Yes, the plot(s) is full of holes and mostly ridiculous! However, there are some great moments such as the Emma Thompson scene when she gets the CD instead of the necklace and lots of funny moments (Rowen Atkinson, Bill Nighy etc). My teen DD watching for the first time pointed out the sexism and the fat shaming (but still quite enjoyed it). She's not wrong, but meh! AIBU?

OP posts:
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WhatNoUsername · 10/12/2023 22:58

Love it. Watch it every year.

cheapskatemum · 10/12/2023 23:02

I watched it again last night and noticed that the blonde American woman in the bar with Colin is Betty Draper from MadMen!

stomachameleon · 10/12/2023 23:06

@CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau yes thank you. He spent over three years sectioned but eventually came home, did his a-levels and went to uni. He is expecting his first child and has a lovely partner.
Thank you for asking x

Ladymarycrawley1920 · 10/12/2023 23:08

Love it and watch it every year. “Where the fuck is my fucking coat” is my favourite line and I always shout at Alan Rickman not to do it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Lilyhatesjaz · 10/12/2023 23:35

I quite enjoy it, but I find the characters are all the kind of posh that seem to occur in romantic novels and who I don't recognise at all in real life.

TerrysNeapolitan · 11/12/2023 00:02

Love this film - don't let the Snowflakes tell you otherwise (and crikey don't mention the Carry on films to them they will explode!) BOOM!

JMSA · 11/12/2023 00:15

My favourite Christmas film. I love it.

That said, I could happily live without the whole 'sex mad boy does America' thing.

theconfidenceofwho · 11/12/2023 00:46

I love it too Op & watch it every Christmas!

gabbyaggy · 11/12/2023 00:50

I have a low cringe threshold, Love Actually makes me squirm with second hand embarrassment and I find it hard to watch, even 20 years ago as a new release. But it's not the worst, it could be The Holiday. Bah humbug.

TempestTost · 11/12/2023 01:48

GonksAreNotJustForChristmas · 10/12/2023 20:24

Misogyny is the most over used word on Mumsnet.

It's not abnormal to cry if you have a bad time in your relationship. The same as you would cry if you were let down by a sibling or a child.

It doesn't mean women can't get over these things.

Edited
Show quote history

Yeah, I think it's got to be pretty normal to cry when you are cheated in a long and previously happy marriage.

And in fact not unheard of for men to cry in that situation too.

Notsurewhatodohere · 11/12/2023 02:21

I watched it again recently and was horrified by the relentless fat shaming of women it was not just the MM character on the receiving end of it, Emma Thompson also makes remarks about how she is as big as Pavarotti and can't find anything to wear which is ridiculous. Keira is miniscule and considered "perfect" also way younger than the men (18). When I first saw the film I didn't notice how sexist it was but seeing it now is shocking I didn't enjoy it personally and will bin it despite ET's great acting.

Strawberrywaffle777 · 11/12/2023 02:24

LadyBird1973 · 10/12/2023 18:28

I like it and don't think Richard Curtis should have apologised for it.
Women who are smaller than a size 12, often do think women who are bigger than them are fat. Clearly MM isn't, it's just reflecting how people can be irl.

Colin is a piss take of British men, who have heard that American women like British accents. As if he'd ever stand a chance with any of those women.

The porn actors are funny - it's the idea that love can find you in the weirdest of circumstances!

Laura Linney's story is that family is important, more important than some bloke who can't even be arsed to find out her story and wait for her.

Emma Thompson - massively annoying irl but a cracking actress. That present scene is amazing.

Andrew Lincoln can't help that he loves his friend's wife. He's not a stalker - that would be following her home from work and making a pest of himself. He tells her how he feels, she's clearly flattered. They both move on.

The only one I'm not keen on is Liam Neeson, getting over his poor wife's death in 5 minutes flat and eyeing up Claudia Schiffer.

I think the same Ladybird1973 . Quite a few of the scenarios pps are calling creepy, are fairly benign in intent. Richard Curtis is known to be a ridiculous romantic, not a peeve!

I have a slightly different take on Laura Linney’s (sp?) character though.

I know someone who turned down a relationship with a lonely bloke because she was so devoted to looking after her elderly parents that he gave up the pursuit in the end. It was part guilt caused by manipulation from her parents and partly that she used her parents as an excuse because she was afraid to take the plunge. A crying shame. So many people opt for what is “safe” and stay stuck in impossible dead end situations out of fear. And of course LL’s devotion to her brother could I suppose be described as another form of love actually.

Overall I like the film. It hasn’t aged well in parts but neither have many of the Bond films and you can still enjoy them for what they are; light entertainment!

The singing detective does it for me every time and I think some of the casting is outstanding : Martine M is adorable, Laura Linney is a brilliant actress as is Emma T. And the girl who plays Aurelia. Just perfect! Hugh G, Alan R, Bill Nighy and Rowan Atkinson. Fabulous!

Strawberrywaffle777 · 11/12/2023 02:32

Perve not peeve!

Luddite26 · 11/12/2023 06:16

LadyBird1973 · 10/12/2023 22:50

"It made me realise how many Mners are entirely disempowered, and economically vulnerable should their marriages fail. That scene is absolutely key to a certain type of Mners’ fears."

This isn't why the scene is so admired. Lots of people have been cheated on and then had to put a brave face on for the children. So it's about complete understanding and empathy for how she feels in that moment.
Emma Thompson's character is the Prime Minister's sister - I doubt she's economically vulnerable. Lots of women are fully independent financially but still completely identify with her feelings in that moment - it's about bringing a mother and putting your children's needs ahead of your own.

And I always felt the feeling of ageing.

theconfidenceofwho · 11/12/2023 09:44

Totally agree @Strawberrywaffle777 & @LadyBird1973 - love it.

Also agree re ageing @Luddite26

Think it's a great movie and really wish that these days we could stop finding the bad or offence in everything, especially something that's meant to be light-hearted Christmas fluff!

Bicorne · 11/12/2023 09:46

theconfidenceofwho · 11/12/2023 09:44

Totally agree @Strawberrywaffle777 & @LadyBird1973 - love it.

Also agree re ageing @Luddite26

Think it's a great movie and really wish that these days we could stop finding the bad or offence in everything, especially something that's meant to be light-hearted Christmas fluff!

It’s amazing how angry people get when someone challenges their underthinking. Even the idea that other people habitually think differently about something seems to enrage them.

theconfidenceofwho · 11/12/2023 09:50

I can assure you I'm not angry @Bicorne & surprised that you think my post comes across that way.

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 11/12/2023 10:04

This is a bit of reductio ad absurdum but I bet the ancient romans would have said “everyone gets offended at everything nowadays” if people criticised their gladiator shows or getting people eaten by animals, etc. It is really iffy in some parts. Even the Laura Linney storyline is touchy for someone who has been constantly coerced back to abusive family members - not that he’s abusive, he’s ill, but he should be under much tighter watch and caring - with “but they’re related to you! You owe them!”

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Geminijust · 11/12/2023 10:14

TerrysNeapolitan · 11/12/2023 00:02

Love this film - don't let the Snowflakes tell you otherwise (and crikey don't mention the Carry on films to them they will explode!) BOOM!

Coincidentally, there was a programme about the Carry Ons last night. WAY more sexist than Love Actually but bloody funny still. Oooh matron!

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 11/12/2023 10:17

oh I watched the carry on Programme last night the actors were done over whilst the studio and producers made an absolute fortune!

Jonisaysitbest · 11/12/2023 10:18

I have mixed feelings over this film.
I was pregnant with my first child when I first saw it. I loved it at the time and remember coming out of the cinema feeling so full of love & happiness.
I remember finding the Emma Thompson scene poignant but it didn't stand out to me. Little did I know...

Years later I had my own Emma Thompson moment and had to do that exact "brave face for the kids" scenario.

Now if I watch it I feel very nostalgic for those happy, carefree, younger-me years and incredibly sad when I watch that Emma Thompson scene. It is an Incredible piece of acting, so true to life.

HairdryerMary · 11/12/2023 10:34

Part of the reason I think that everyone remembers the Emma Thompson scene is that we so rarely see middle aged women's stories in mainstream media. We are either cougars, prudes, Karen's or part of the establishment (Trunchball, Dolores Umbridge). We don't have feelings apart from pride, lust, anger or the obsessive need to control.

Deadringer · 11/12/2023 10:48

We enjoy it coming up to Christmas but some of the dialogue is woeful, like when Emma Thompson tells very recently bereaved Liam Neeson that women won't shag him if he is a cry baby, or Neeson calling his stepson a wee motherless mongrel shortly after his mother dies. Dreadful. And of course the fat shaming is disgusting. But there are funny bits too and it's very Christmasy.

Strawberrywaffle777 · 11/12/2023 10:59

HairdryerMary · 11/12/2023 10:34

Part of the reason I think that everyone remembers the Emma Thompson scene is that we so rarely see middle aged women's stories in mainstream media. We are either cougars, prudes, Karen's or part of the establishment (Trunchball, Dolores Umbridge). We don't have feelings apart from pride, lust, anger or the obsessive need to control.

Wow yes HairdryerMary thinking about it, that’s so true! The bravery of the ordinary middle aged mother is rarely celebrated on camera.

Strawberrywaffle777 · 11/12/2023 11:03

Deadringer · 11/12/2023 10:48

We enjoy it coming up to Christmas but some of the dialogue is woeful, like when Emma Thompson tells very recently bereaved Liam Neeson that women won't shag him if he is a cry baby, or Neeson calling his stepson a wee motherless mongrel shortly after his mother dies. Dreadful. And of course the fat shaming is disgusting. But there are funny bits too and it's very Christmasy.

Seriously Deadringer? (Sorry if English not your first language.) Those lines aren’t meant to be taken literally. It’s the way middle class English folk dead pan sarcastically and josh one another. It’s a sign of affection.