Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you what you haven't explicitly spelled out to your kids and realised they don't know how to do?

176 replies

cremantsupernova · 10/12/2023 15:13

There are lots of threads on MN about what your kids need to be able to do by the time they leave home (drive/life admin/budget/cook etc) in addition to school basics.
But what about the rest of it. Mine are generally kind and polite and usually remember pleases and thank yous
I was with one of my DC the other day and they ran ahead through a door and let it shut in the person behind's face. And I realised that I prob haven't stopped and told them that this is what you do.
Made me worry what else i haven't told them -
Any other examples?

OP posts:
LylaLee · 12/12/2023 05:43

Netaporter · 12/12/2023 05:05

Love this thread.

During lockdown I had a whole list to teach DD which was quite fun. Everything from baking to banking.

A couple of things I think all teens should know:

  1. regardless of the green man, be aware that cyclists ignore red lights. Especially in London.
  2. if they cycle, make sure they understand that drivers of vehicles have blind spots. Especially Lorries.
  3. What a measure of spirits looks like vs a measure of wine. Even if you don’t drink yourself.
  4. How to make two or three basic nutritional dinners that take less than 15 mins.
  5. Sounds obvious, but I overheard a conversation between DD and a friend about pasta. Friend : ‘so pasta for one is 10 mins in the pan, if there are four of us, I guess the cooking time is forty mins?’ DD looked at her friend and said ‘err no, you just get a bigger pan of water and cook a larger amount for 10 mins’.
  6. How to make an appointment be it GP, hair whatever.
  7. how to send a polite/persuasive email to a Teacher so you stand half a chance of getting positive response/help/what resource you need.
  8. That you don’t have to send me an Amazon link for every book you’d like to read, you can use a thing called a library 😂

What I’ve also learned about teenagers is that if for whatever reason they ask you a random question that Google could solve easily, it means they want to chat/tell you about something. So the next time your DC randomly asks you what Brake Horse Power is or whatever, keep the conversation going. You never know where it might take you to in their lives right now.

Libby is a library app where you register with your library card number then you can read ebooks on the app (and digital magazine and audiobooks) for free.

Netaporter · 12/12/2023 05:43

@BabyQuark you use the GP online system where I live. Pop in and check to see if you need to be set up on their system.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/12/2023 06:20

Stormyforcast · 10/12/2023 22:34

As a parent I'm so appreciative of people who do this especially when you're probably in a hurry and would cross when the road is empty other times.

my toddler old is a runner and super speedy but despite running away from me (and at 8m pregnant I can't run fast after her like I used to) she will wait at the green man if she gets to a road, often because she sees that everybody waits at the green man.

I had one of these for dd, who was also super speedy and energetic. They were brilliant.

Edit - forgot to add. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Beautiful-Beginnings-Adjustable-Restrain-Toddler/dp/B00XUFXBGM/ref=asc_df_B00XUFXBGM/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=570266345898&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2083093668464449286&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046178&hvtargid=pla-1600878050838&psc=1&mcid=a4b6b724191330eca995cc33a142d61b

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/12/2023 06:35

My 15 yo dd doesn’t know how to sew and doesn’t want to learn. She last picked up a needle and thread in primary school. Oh well. She does know how to follow a recipe so I’ve at least got some of it right.

sashh · 12/12/2023 09:58

BabyQuark · 12/12/2023 05:31

I still don't understand how to get a repeat prescription 😳 I'm 38! I know you don't need a separate GP appointment every time, but I don't understand who gives you the piece of paper then? Or how you let them know you've run out of your medication? Fortunately I'm not on any regular meds but I dread one of the DC needing something on repeat and having to confess my ignorance to the receptionist!

Show quote history

On the physical bit of paper there should be a form you can fill in and then hand in at the surgery.

Or if you are on the number of meds I am you phone the pharmacy, they contact the GP, the prescription is sent electronically and a couple of days later they are delivered in a dosette box.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 12/12/2023 15:35

I think someone has already mentioned this, but I realised one day that my ds probably didn't know how to use a can opener, so I showed him.

Most youngsters can find a Youtube video these days though. There are how to videos for everything!

enchantedsquirrelwood · 12/12/2023 15:39

Glittertwins · 11/12/2023 10:18

The road safety one is vital. I make a point of waiting for the green man if there are young children waiting to cross with a parent, even if I could have easily made it.
I also wait until traffic has stopped and taught the DCs to do the same as I have nearly been knocked down twice when crossing the road on a marked crossing when the light was green for me and red for road users and both times I was over half way across. A boy at our school was killed on another crossing by a driver who wasn't paying attention to their lights having changed.

Yes I think the waiting to check that cars are actually going to stop is more important than the green man thing. For similar reasons, a few years ago two girls were run down and killed on a crossing by a drunk driver who ignored the red light for him.

Cookerhood · 12/12/2023 15:39

GimpMasksAndWagonWheels · 10/12/2023 15:40

Very similar with us last week! My 8yr old was writing the envelope for his Santa letter and wrote the 'to' address in very small writing, in the top left corner. Made me realise that unless you've been shown the correct way, you just wouldn't know!

Show quote history

I remember being taught at school! We all had to address our own report envelopes.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 12/12/2023 15:42

I think sometimes it is difficult to know which skills are going to be useful, do teenagers need to know how to write and/or cash a cheque

probably not to write one but they can pay one in on their banking app or, in the case of Nationwide, take it to the branch with their bank card and the person does it for them, or shows them how to use the machine. One day, Nationwide might move into the 21st century. On the plus side, they still have a branch in my town.

EverybodyLTB · 12/12/2023 16:26

enchantedsquirrelwood

re cheques, this reminded me of the (wonderful) Motherland, where Meg says to Julia “who’s paying you in cheques these days, Martin Chuzzlewit?” 😂

Ittastesvile · 12/12/2023 17:04

ClivetheDestroyer · 11/12/2023 12:41

seriously a 3 yr old??
My almost 3 yr old was playing with a tape measure the other day, I asked her how tall I was and she said "sixty eight and 2 O clock" 😂
But my phone number is printed on stickers in her shoes and coat!

Yes. They couldn't dial it themselves or anything, but they absolutely can recite it.

Davros · 12/12/2023 23:20

@Teenagehorrorbag
This is why our kids need to join brownies and cubs etc! Ok they might not help with handbrakes or vomit but sewing buttons, ironing, making tea (hostess badge anyone)? Plus map reading, cooking, shopping etc, and all in a fun way.
I was not allowed to join Brownies because I didn't know the National Anthem or Lord's Prayer. My mum was delighted, feeling she was doing a good job!
I can sew on a button and have never been shown but I wonder if it's still possible to buy a Buttoneer (probably K-Tel or Ronco)

GymPanda · 13/12/2023 00:34

DS(22) lives with me and quite likes whole milk in a hot chocolate, whereas I only drink skimmed. Asked me if we could get doorstep delivery milk so we didnt keep running out. So we started with Milk&More who deliver in glass pint bottles. On the first morning, I went to the fridge to find his bottle with no lid on it. Asked him where it was and he said "well it ended up ripped to bits because I couldn't work out how to open it or get the foil off the bottle"Smile Never occurred to me that I'd have to teach someone that!
(Both my kids know about stamps, cheques, cassettes, landlines, table manners and using public transport. Teaching them how to politely complain is a great idea - I shall bear it in mind!)

Cookerhood · 13/12/2023 10:35

Mine were the same with milk bottle tops!

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 13/12/2023 11:55

To be fair, I too would almost certainly have done exactly the same and tried to peel off a milk bottle top from the edge with my nails, rather than push it hard in the middle with my thumb - had I not been much older and grown up with glass pint bottles being all that we had, long before the bigger plastic cartons took over and became the norm.

This is an amusing thread, and it's very funny to see how times change from generation to generation; however, I do hope that we're all smiling respectfully, rather than outright blaming the young for being young!

ticktickticktickBOOM · 13/12/2023 15:18

Peel a banana Blush

Had to teach him when he was 10

10!

sueelleker · 13/12/2023 16:00

tinkerbellvspredator · 10/12/2023 23:43

Another green man one - I'd told DC (more than once I'm sure) to look out for emergency vehicles and wait, and that they are allowed to go the wrong way so be careful. Dd age 12 nearly walked right out in front of a police car with the siren going because the green man came on and it was a one way junction so she was only looking one way. Luckily I was there to pull her back. She's not heard the end of it since.

I don't have children, but I always look both ways; even if it's a one-way street. You never know if you're going to meet an idiot going the wrong way.

LylaLee · 13/12/2023 16:12

ticktickticktickBOOM · 13/12/2023 15:18

Peel a banana Blush

Had to teach him when he was 10

10!

Was he just biting into it, like an apple?

sueelleker · 13/12/2023 16:15

BabyQuark; it varies. At my surgery, we used to have to drop a prescription request in to reception. Then they joined the Prescription Ordering Service, which was brilliant-the service had all my medication records, and I just rang them to say what I wanted. They then contacted the surgery, who sent a prescription to my local pharmacy. They've now stopped doing that, and the surgery has a website that I can order through.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/12/2023 16:20

Finteq · 10/12/2023 23:28

We dont have a home number anymore.

So instead of a 6 figure number.

They would have to learn an 11 figure mobile number.

Edited

English landlines have eleven digit codes.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/12/2023 16:27

AppleCrispMacchiato · 11/12/2023 10:32

In some parts of the US buses don't have buttons, but instead there's a horizontal rope that hangs along the inside of the bus (stretched along the length of the window on either side but not stretched taught) and you grab the rope and pull it down slightly to activate the stop sign.

Show quote history

That used to be how you signalled a stop on London buses. Often the conductor would do it for you if you were small, because it was strung along the top of the bus.

widgetjunkie · 13/12/2023 16:53

My 17yo has had his own bank account for years, and uses a contactless card, but admitted yesterday that he didn't know how to use a cash machine. 🙂

ticktickticktickBOOM · 13/12/2023 18:21

LylaLee · 13/12/2023 16:12

Was he just biting into it, like an apple?

Show quote history

No. He couldn't do it as a toddler so I got in the habit of handing it to him with the top already broken and peeled down a bit.

I started putting them in his lunches once a week at school and he never ate it.

I saw him cutting the top off one with a pair of scissors when he was 10 - that's when I realised

Eekmystro · 13/12/2023 18:31

Getting wheat-a-box out the packet.
7 yr old turned the pack upside and patted so all the crumbs went everywhere. well that’s how you do other cereal I suppose.

Putting clothes in the wash. Not actually putting them in the basket, but which clothes you put to be washed and which can be worn again (eg if you wore a pair of jeans for 3 hrs and they are clean don’t bother washing them).

Finteq · 13/12/2023 19:22

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/12/2023 16:20

English landlines have eleven digit codes.

Show quote history

Yes I know.

But if they are learning 2 or 3 local landlines. They don't need to learn the area code it will be the same. So all they are learning is the 6 digits on the end.

When I phone the school and local businesses- I'm not carefully checking the area code- I know the area code- all I'm doing is putting in the 6 new digits. And same for the local towns and cities- I know the area codes. So if I need the number I'm just learning 6 numbers.

Do people really need it explaining- why learning landlines will be much easier to learn then a mobile?