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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU… issues at work

32 replies

Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 12:36

Hi all,

Im posting this here as I know it will get more responses, I hope that’s ok.

On Friday, I reported my management and a certain team to HR. The issue is there is a ton of bullying in the work place including hate speech and racism, management are aware and have had months to sort it out, but nothing has been done. So I had enough and reported them all, HR are unable to keep me anonymous due to the seriousness of it, so tomorrow I’m fully expecting some really really awkward conversations and possibly quite hostile.

im really nervous, I do not deal well with conflict, however, it’s gotten to the point that people are leaving the team constantly. I’m miserable going into work, I’ve had time off for mental health reasons and I’m really struggling mentally. I’m so tempted to just go off sick and wait until I can find another job, but I feel like that is the cowardly way out.

has anyone experienced anything like this and have any advice?

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 10/12/2023 12:38

I would be concerned about the fact they are not keeping your report confidential. They should have whistle blowing policy for things like this.

Original poster
Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 12:40

Hellocatshome · 10/12/2023 12:38

I would be concerned about the fact they are not keeping your report confidential. They should have whistle blowing policy for things like this.

I was told that due to it being a breach of dignity at the workplace, it cannot be kept confidential.
Im in the process of looking for a new job as it is due to all of this, just absolutely fed up with it. Grown adults bullying people 😔

OP posts:
HappyHamsters · 10/12/2023 12:42

What sort of work is it, I was in nhs and bullying was rife, ward staff did nothing, eventually I reported it to hr and they got a new ward manager in but it takes forever and it was awkward but I had enough, few people backed me up. If hr care they will investigate and be professional and fair but they should have addressed it before. How long have you worked there.

CombatBarbie · 10/12/2023 12:43

They are wrong, if they out you, you need to go nuclear on it all. I'd be inclined to call in sick tomorrow and seek advice from ACAS, union, find the company policy on bullying and whistle blowing. It should be readily available.

Original poster
Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 12:46

HappyHamsters · 10/12/2023 12:42

What sort of work is it, I was in nhs and bullying was rife, ward staff did nothing, eventually I reported it to hr and they got a new ward manager in but it takes forever and it was awkward but I had enough, few people backed me up. If hr care they will investigate and be professional and fair but they should have addressed it before. How long have you worked there.

It’s not the NHS, but is a support role for the homeless. Prior to this role, I worked with the same company in a different team and everything was brilliant. I got offered a promotion which included me moving to a new team, since then it’s been absolute hell. I’ve been there 8 months, I have told my managers about the bullying, degradation of other colleagues done by some staff and even comments affecting our clients. Management have made excuse after excuse for them and I’m done, so I reported it.

ive heard good things about the HR team in all fairness and the lady was lovely, but I can’t honestly see anything changing even after this.

im just so tempted to just not go back at all

OP posts:
ChristmasPuddy · 10/12/2023 12:47

It definitely should be kept anonymous, there is no reason for it not to be!!

I reported inappropriate behaviour (sexual) at work and it was kept anonymous.. although the person was able to work out it was me but that’s another issue.

greencheetah · 10/12/2023 12:48

Do you have a trade union rep who could support you?

FWIW I wish more people were brave like you OP

HappyHamsters · 10/12/2023 12:50

Rwad the ACAS guide to raising a complaint, it absolutely should be kept confidential. Are you in a Union?

Jammydodger1981 · 10/12/2023 12:51

Hellocatshome · 10/12/2023 12:38

I would be concerned about the fact they are not keeping your report confidential. They should have whistle blowing policy for things like this.

What the OP has reported is not whistle blowing unless there is public interest. Whistle blowing has a set meaning and is not just reporting issues in the workplace: https://www.gov.uk/whistleblowing.

I do think it is right that they know who has reported as they have a right to defend themselves against the claims. Say OP has reported something as if she was there (not saying it’s the case here, but I’ve seen it!) but actually it was passed on by a colleague. They have the right to point out that it was supposed to have taken place on Wednesday, and the OP was on annual leave/not in the meeting/working in another site etc. so it is not a first hand account and shouldn’t be given as much weight because they cannot have heard it themselves.

OP - if anyone does anything slightly hostile, different than usual, I would urge you to report it immediately. You shouldn’t be put in a worse position for reporting this, and if HR do nothing about it, you have a good case for constructive dismissal.

Whistleblowing for employees

Whistleblowing - what it is, who to tell, what to expect and how to complain if you're treated unfairly

https://www.gov.uk/whistleblowing

HappyHamsters · 10/12/2023 12:54

If they are also making fun of their vulnerable clients they have no place working in that environment, that's awful and needs reporting.

biter · 10/12/2023 12:59

When I made a bullying /harassment claim a few years back I told them I could not work in the team whilst they investigated as it was affecting me too badly.

So I got paid time off whilst they did their interviews.

Ask for that so you don't have to face going in. Tell your team that you are off sick.

It's sounds pretty dreadful and I applaud you for standing up for what is right. Well done x

Aprilx · 10/12/2023 13:02

Hellocatshome · 10/12/2023 12:38

I would be concerned about the fact they are not keeping your report confidential. They should have whistle blowing policy for things like this.

Whistle-blowing has a specific meaning in employment law and this is not it. As horrible as bullying is, as mush as racism is illegal in the workplace, it is not something that can be dealt with under whistle blowing policy or processes. This is a grievance.

OP I would use today to write everything down so you are ready for tomorrow. You also need to narrow it down to specifics including specific individuals, what they have said and when. General terms like “a ton of bullying” and “reported them all” are going to be taken less seriously as it could come across as you having a bit of a rant. You need to stick to a fact based conversation and avoid sweeping statements.

Regarding confidentiality, yes whistle blowers can ask to remain anonymous but again this is definitely not whistle blowing in law. This is a grievance, a complaint and as you are claiming bullying then you cannot really expect to remain anonymous as otherwise how can it be investigated.

HermioneWeasley · 10/12/2023 13:05

It might a case that given the specifics of the complaint, it might be obvious who has complained and that’s why HR have said they can’t keep it confidential - not because they are planning to announce it.

Original poster
Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 13:06

Honestly, I’ve been feeling awful about reporting them. Management aren’t bad people, but they’re so laid back and they condone the actions of others despite many different staff raising their concerns to them.

i had a grown man in my office last week sobbing because of the bullying he has experienced within the team, he had told management… nothing was done. The man has now handed an immediate notice in and has passed me his details to give to HR to report his side.

They purposely undermine you, accuse staff of being sexual predators without any evidence. Reported this immediately as it’s a safeguarding concern… nothing was done.

They try to call you out in front of the whole work place to purposely try to humiliate you instead of actually pulling you aside and speaking with you professionally.

They lie for clients to save them from getting in trouble and then they make fun of the ones who they don’t like for whatever reason… again immediately reported this as we work with highly vulnerable members of society.

it’s just been a long and draining 8 months and I’ve had enough. I do not know how some people who are in a support role can be this cruel to others and get away with it. I’m feeling so mentally unwell, but I feel I should go into work with my head held high and show I’m not backing down, but at the same time I really want to hide under a rock

OP posts:
Original poster
Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 13:08

Aprilx · 10/12/2023 13:02

Whistle-blowing has a specific meaning in employment law and this is not it. As horrible as bullying is, as mush as racism is illegal in the workplace, it is not something that can be dealt with under whistle blowing policy or processes. This is a grievance.

OP I would use today to write everything down so you are ready for tomorrow. You also need to narrow it down to specifics including specific individuals, what they have said and when. General terms like “a ton of bullying” and “reported them all” are going to be taken less seriously as it could come across as you having a bit of a rant. You need to stick to a fact based conversation and avoid sweeping statements.

Regarding confidentiality, yes whistle blowers can ask to remain anonymous but again this is definitely not whistle blowing in law. This is a grievance, a complaint and as you are claiming bullying then you cannot really expect to remain anonymous as otherwise how can it be investigated.

Edited
Show quote history

Hi,

I understand that but it does put me in a very awkward position. I have already provided a detailed timeline of events with regards to specific comments and dates by certain staff and have sent this off to HR.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 13:10

biter · 10/12/2023 12:59

When I made a bullying /harassment claim a few years back I told them I could not work in the team whilst they investigated as it was affecting me too badly.

So I got paid time off whilst they did their interviews.

Ask for that so you don't have to face going in. Tell your team that you are off sick.

It's sounds pretty dreadful and I applaud you for standing up for what is right. Well done x

Thank you, I don’t even know that is an option as we’re so low on staff because everyone keeps leaving surprise, surprise.

it just feels so rubbish, I feel like I’m the troublemaker for reporting it 😔

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 10/12/2023 13:14

I had a fairly similar issue some years ago, but I was the team leader of the individuals concerned.
I went through due process, a couple of those involved were rather nasty individuals - but due to the severity of the issue they were sacked for gross misconduct.
Those with lesser punishments were fine about it (at the end of the day, actions have consequences) and it didn’t cause a big falling out.
One of those sacked appeared to be egging others on (which I used as mitigating circumstances when I was left to deal with the staff who remained) and overall it was just a fairly awful time, but absolutely deserved by those who were punished.

Thank you for speaking out and raising the issue - I can’t imagine the fallout will be large enough to consider leaving the company.
I stayed and my promotion a few months later was in part down to how I handled it along with HR.

Original poster
Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 13:59

I’m going to take some deep breaths, go in and keep my head high. It’s just so difficult when it’s absolutely destroying me mentally.

OP posts:
Jammydodger1981 · 10/12/2023 14:31

Zombieof3 · 10/12/2023 13:10

Thank you, I don’t even know that is an option as we’re so low on staff because everyone keeps leaving surprise, surprise.

it just feels so rubbish, I feel like I’m the troublemaker for reporting it 😔

Show quote history

@Zombieof3 that is their problem to sort. If you don’t feel like you can work there, staffing levels are not your concern.

venusandmars · 10/12/2023 15:36

@Zombieof3 I just want to say 'Good for You'. Well done on being authentic and having integrity, and acting on it. There are not enough people who will do that.

You say: "Management aren’t bad people, but they’re so laid back and they condone the actions of others despite many different staff raising their concerns to them." But imo condoning actions that they know to be wrong does make them bad people - people who are more interested in their own self-preservation and 'comfortable' non-confrontational environment that they let others be bullied.

Original poster
Zombieof3 · 11/12/2023 17:23

I went in and braved it. Nobody mentioned anything but people were being overly nice. Management however were very short with me, I’m surprised they didn’t mention anything. I just got on with my job and showed them that I am strong enough to face this head on! Feeling very proud of myself right now 😂

OP posts:
HappyHamsters · 11/12/2023 19:26

Good for you, you can hold your head up high, they are being nice to you either because they know they are wrong and are being false and two faced or relieved that someone has spoken up.

withthischoice · 07/01/2024 11:45

is this still rumbling on op?

Original poster
Zombieof3 · 07/01/2024 12:01

I ended up reporting it all to HR, so far it’s been a lot better but I know I’m not a welcome part of the team, but I found out I got a job I applied for on Friday, so one month of this and then hopefully I can get myself out of this! Xx

OP posts:
withthischoice · 07/01/2024 12:12

Zombieof3 · 07/01/2024 12:01

I ended up reporting it all to HR, so far it’s been a lot better but I know I’m not a welcome part of the team, but I found out I got a job I applied for on Friday, so one month of this and then hopefully I can get myself out of this! Xx

yes i know you reported but what was the outcome? the consequence?