Banging on the door of the Accessible Toilet

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

Why do people do this?!

I've just used the accessible toilet (I need to use the accessible toilet). I'd barely sat down and someone started banging on the door. I wasn't in there an unreasonable amount of time - probably about 30 seconds when the door banging started and 3 minutes overall. I was in there because I needed to be, banging on the door isn't going to make me quicker. If someone was taking the piss, it'd probably make them stay longer!

It's not the first time it's happened but it's so frustrating. It happened a few weeks ago also, that time was a woman wanting to use the baby change... the baby change wasn't even in the accessible loo!

It's really annoyed me this morning, it's not something I've noticed when using non-accesible toilets so I think it's just an accessible loo thing. But whyyyy?! I can't go faster 😩

It's not always possible to tell if anyone is actually in the toilet. I stood outside one for a while then knocked....there was no one in there despite a member of staff telling me otherwise.

My friend gets this a lot, she has a stoma bag and will use a regular toilet if she can (ie big enough and with some sort of shelf) but the accessible toilet if not. I usually wait nearby and she's had several people banging angrily on the door whilst she's in there, and one woman even shouted at her when she came out and demanded to know why she'd used it- bitch. Lots of people still assume people who require accessibility look a certain way or whatever when that isn't the case. I can get a quick knock perhaps if it's one that's sometimes simply locked, but there's no excuse.

I do not get this at all.

There is a queue (this is not an issue when there is no queue)
If everyone in the queue waits only for the non accessible cubicles, the person in the queue who needs the accessible cubicle will be waiting longer. Unless they cut the line in which case they will be waiting only for the one person in it. Who equally might need the accessible cubicle.

Either way, it's easier to just use all cubicles, quicker for all involved.

This really worries me. I have a mostly invisible disability, from sitting, I find it incredibly difficult to walk the first few steps and I really need the bar to haul myself up, but looking at me, you can’t see the big mobility impairing injury hidden under clothes. I tend not to use the disabled toilets because I know people will hate me and I can’t wave my blue badge because it’s on the dash of my car in the carpark!

If you lock the door from the inside the radar key won’t work. I had to open the disabled loo from the outside and needed a screwdriver to turn lock plus radar key.

I’ve explained several times now. And the most recent post is just upthread. I’m not picking on anyone, nor am I ignorant or stupid. I’m just pointing out that we could all do with calming down and maybe having a bit more consideration for the needs of others. Accessible toilets are there for everyone with need, but it’s a fact of life that they are abused and I’m not having a go at anyone with a genuine disability. The times I’ve come across abuse of the facilities it’s been very obvious - not just a case of someone coming out of the toilet with no obvious disability and me thinking ‘piss taker’ so please don’t insult my intelligence. I’ve answered your questions, so please do feel free to explain to me why on earth you think I should be happy about waiting in some distress to use the only toilet I can use in a wheelchair when it’s being used by two teenage girls smoking pot ? Or by a mother trying to deal with a screaming toddler ? Is that your definition of the need for accessible facilities. Because it’s definitely not mine.

If you open a thread about toilets, you should expect a degree of physiological frankness.

Our loos in the precinct have weird lights it's to stop addicts finding a vein to shoot up.

I'd rather baby changing wasn't in disabled loos. Feeling guilty that a disabled person might have priority.

It really does take time to get out of a wheelchair onto the loo, then back into the wheelchair. I'd perhaps be concerned after ten minutes.

@Rosscameasdoody They may well have been taking the piss but again, as wrong as smoking weed in there is, I agree, you still^ have no idea if one of them had a disability and that's^ why they were in there to begin with. Stop blaming me for your shitty attitude and change it! Other disabled people are NOT your enemy

Wow!

Do you really think people just stay in loos to annoy you? I mean, I probably would if you kept rattling the handle, but generally don't people do what they need to in the time that takes and leave?

You’ve got to be kidding? Do you think people sit in dirty public toilets reading their phone or otherwise wasting time? If you kept rattling the handle when I was in there I’d rip you a new arsehole when I came out. Changing stoma bags, etc takes a while. Not everyone is going in for a quick piss.

@Rosscameasdoody You clearly haven't read any of my posts properly. As yet again, you have described a mother dealing with a screaming toddler as a "piss taker!" when I have given you an example of myself having several disabilities AND a young child. I cannot tell you the amount of times I've been in accessible toilets with my screaming baby/toddler whilst using the toilet myself! And yes, I usually did a nappy change whilst I was there if there was a fold up table. I expect the people waiting outside thought I was "just a piss taking mother" as well rather than a DISABLED mother with an unhappy toddler who refuses to wait for mummy to see to her OWN disabilities

I think the answer is there are not enough accessible toikets or the right type and location.

Ive had this helping my relative who is in a wheelchair, has difficulty moving their arns to dress /undress and has urgency issues. They have to use all the arm pulls and have room for the wheelchair so the cubicles of normal loos just arent an option. Then people bang on the door shouting hurry up 'theres disabled people waiting'

My son needs no physical adaption and has a hudden dusability. A totally different toilet is needed for him.

There needs to be changing place toilets, accessible toikets and urgency issue toilets in a row with more than one.

And when my child was a baby and then a toddler, I didn't ever use my mobility scooter as I couldn't! It wasn't safe to (they realllllly need to design a mobility scooter and/or a wheelchair with adaptations for a baby seat or toddler stool or something!) so I dosed myself up on meds and leant on the pram as much as I could.
Ohhhhhh the shitty looks I got coming out of disabled toilets or when parking in disabled spaces. It was truly awful. I even got hit by a walking stick once whilst holding my baby and being shouted at by the man wielding said walking stick, for being an "entitled mummy abusing disabled spaces"

I was asked a question. I answered the question. The answer to said question was that he didn't look to be disabled. It's not complicated.

@HunterHearstHelmsley

I do think the nappy change should be separate to any toilets at all. Separate room that's accessible and appropriate. They have this at a shopping centre near me and it seems to work well.

Having them in the women's doesn't work and isn't appropriate. Having them in the mens wouldn't be a consideration. Having them in the disabled means people need to wait to use the toilet.

If they were entirely separate then hopefully that alleviates the issue. Obviously they would need to be suitable for disabled parents to use.

If you've said the "didn't look disabled" then the harms been done, even it you follow it up with a caveat. There's no such thing as a disabled "look".

Although I do know people with invisible disabilities who use a stick now just because they get tired of the loaded comments

I've had this happen to me, or rattling the handle, it makes me freeze with panic for a moment and then I take twice as long to go.

I'm on crutches temporarily. I have posted previously that I have invisible disabilities. I am fully aware, thank you.

I can relate to this. I've been in a similar position after a car accident and am much the same right now as I am recovering from major surgery. When I was just starting to walk unaided I was actually less mobile and more vulnerable without my crutches than I was with them, but got absolutely no consideration from anybody- I was just a middle aged woman with a limp walking slowly and getting in everyone's way. At least when I am using my crutches people tend to give me a bit of space. In fact I've learned from experience and this time around I will be using my crutches in public places for longer than strictly necessary, just to protect myself.
I have tried very hard not to use disabled facilities as I am only going to be in this situation for a few more months, not forever. But after a horrible experience where I'd managed to get myself into a normal cubicle but couldn't get out again and was trapped for ages I have got to the point where I don't care if people think I am not disabled enough to justify using the accessible toilets.
I found lots of people somehow expected me to go from wheelchair bound one day to absolutely fine the next but of course it doesn't work that way. In a long rehabilitation you can still have significant challenges for ages after all the outward signs of your injury or illness are no longer obvious.

Lots of people do take the piss but you have no way of knowing who is and who isn’t by looking at them.

I didn’t say there was !! And where I’ve quoted situations I’ve faced, it’s the circumstance and the persons’ behaviour, not their appearance that gives them away. As a wheelchair user with no choice but to use accessible facilities, I’m as entitled to give my point of view as anyone else. And at no point have I ever said that anyone with a genuine disability, hidden or otherwise, should be prevented from using accessible facilities - just that maybe if there is a standard cubicle available and they are able to use it, they can leave the accessible toilet available.

If the hammering on he door continued for 5 minutes it obviously wasn’t to check whether someone was in there, otherwise they would have opened the door after a couple of knocks. The disabled loos are really there for those who need the space, or the specific facilities. They’re not really there for urgency issues, I’d expect a disabled person to
generally take longer than normal. The real problem is a totally insufficient number of toilets. Why do we accept that the queue for the ladies is so long. It’s used by people with smaller bladders, more issues with urgency and incontinence and generally more children. It also takes longer to use the loo than the average male. We need way more toilets!

Just to make it clear i dont think physical disabilities are more disabled than invisible disabilities in case thats how it came across.

I just meant if you are incontinent and have a carer you need a pull down changing table, space for a carer, possible some hoisting /safety straps.
if you are in a wheelchair you need space to move it around, things at certain heights etc.

Wheras some invisible disabilities just need access to a fairly normal toilet quickly.

I actually think the 'normal' toiket facilities have a lot to aswer for. Just think how many people wouldnt need accessible toikets if the standard blocks were bigger, better lighting, places to put things down, more in number

Regarding the baby change, you don't know she didn't need it because trying to wee with a baby in public can be really difficult. Normal loos can't fit a buggy so you either have to go with the door open or hold it. You also don't know if she had extra needs requiring the disabled loo.

I'll also add that lots of children are absolutely terrified of hand dryers (my DD wet herself in fear once) so using a loo where you can control the dryer is important to us.