Banging on the door of the Accessible Toilet

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

Why do people do this?!

I've just used the accessible toilet (I need to use the accessible toilet). I'd barely sat down and someone started banging on the door. I wasn't in there an unreasonable amount of time - probably about 30 seconds when the door banging started and 3 minutes overall. I was in there because I needed to be, banging on the door isn't going to make me quicker. If someone was taking the piss, it'd probably make them stay longer!

It's not the first time it's happened but it's so frustrating. It happened a few weeks ago also, that time was a woman wanting to use the baby change... the baby change wasn't even in the accessible loo!

It's really annoyed me this morning, it's not something I've noticed when using non-accesible toilets so I think it's just an accessible loo thing. But whyyyy?! I can't go faster 😩

My son is autistic- any loud sudden noises make him freak out and panic so he freezes- if someone knocked/banged on the door when he was in there he wouldn’t cope and wouldn’t let them know he was in there, he would just freeze. A key in the door is a softer sound and he would hear it and shout he was in there.

with that in mind I worry in case knocking frightens someone like him. I’ve already said, clearly starting to open the door could also upset some people. Sadly in life there isn’t usually a perfect solution.

I don't agree with this logic really.

If there's no queue, use the non disabled toilet (unless disabled)

If there's a queue, just use any toilet that's free as quickly as possible.

If there's a disabled person waiting they should of course get priority and come to the front of the queue and be the next one into the disabled cubicle. But I don't see why that cubicle should be left empty on the off chance that a disabled person will want to use it. It's not going to make much if any difference to wait the 1 or 2 minutes for one person to finish. You will not have to wait for 10 people and it does not affect accessibility to the venue as you are claiming

In reality there are not many disabled people, and not using the disabled toilet if there's a queue will result in an even longer queue which then means people who aren't actually disabled but have trouble standing for a long time, or have a weak bladder or a tummy upset etc all suffer.

I think for most people the door opening to expose you sitting on the loo to everyone outside would be much more upsetting than knocking on the door!

Agree that loud banging would be extremely offputting!

You wonder why they don't just put a separate lock on these doors so that it can't be opened accidentally

i really think the issue 😕 is there is just simply not enough toilets conviences in the first place,
it's ridiculous..

Well this is the biggest issue of all, yes.

There is a need for more public toilets, and for them to be open.

Councils are lazy and penny pinching. They seem to find plenty of cash for diversity programmes- well why not walk the talk and actually cater for your disabled, female, and elderly population who are more likely to need the loo, and for longer?

My child did this the orher day. Maybe it was you in there? Sorry! She's an imp

Utter nonsense. Approximately 24% of the uk population are disabled.

That’s actual disabilities. Being too lazy to queue and too self important to realise that you are not entitled to that facility are not disabilities.

It doesn’t matter if you “agree with the logic”- you are not entitled to use accessible toilets. You have the option of alllllllll the toilets, why do you think you can take up the very small number that disabled people an access just so you don’t have to queue for a few minutes?

Do you understand how time works? If 3/4/5/6 etc people who think they are more important than everyone else use the loo for ‘2 or 3 minutes’ that’s adding nearly 20 minutes to the queue for disabled and ill people who literally don’t have the option of using a different toilet.

There will be loads of selfish wankers who will ‘only be a minute’ in any given venue on any given day, and that means that people with bladder and bowl conditions DO have accidents. And people who struggle to stand are in pain. And people with POTS faint. It actually happens, we don’t just invent these things to get one over on able bodied people with our special toilets.

If people have trouble standing or have a stomach bug, then they can happily use the accessible toilet because they actually need it, you know so they don’t fall down or shit on the floor…

I’ve never exposed anyone!

I’ve always listened for signs of life and never opened a door and found someone in there ( except for my son when something has gone wrong- that’s why I know the radar key works even if it’s ‘locked’ from the inside)

I’ll knock from now on, you are probably right that that’s a better plan… I just had it in my head I’d scare someone with the noise (probably because I hate noise).

No, they clarified what they meant and recounted actual experiences by way of explanation long before you posted this. You just didn’t read that far. They also didn’t accuse the other poster of anything. That poster was clearly angry and took an aggressive tone because she had been challenged and was genuine - that’s always going to happen but it’s no reason to attack another poster for their opinion.

I have a hidden disability - if I’m not in my wheelchair it’s difficult to tell what’s wrong just by looking at me. I’ve been challenged numerous times on using the accessible toilets. Mostly by polite people pointing out that the toilet is not for general use, and yes, there has been the odd ‘you don’t look very disabled’.

And mostly I’ve explained that yes I do have a health condition and am eligible to use the toilet. I don’t take offence and I don’t think many similarly disabled people do either because they recognise that there are piss takers and if they go unchallenged the resources provided to the disabled by these facilities will be eroded. Disabled people are not fragile and precious, and if we all took offence the way some people here seem to, we’d never get out of bed.

If people are polite and accept what you say it’s fine. You’re always going to get goady ignorant and offensive people who demand to know the ins and outs of your condition - because they’re not interested in keeping the facilities clear for those who need them, they’re just nosy. So to them ‘fuck off and mind your own business’ is a complete sentence with no further need for explanation. But I don’t see any reason to be offended if challenged in the right way. The alternative is that these resources will eventually be meaningless.

This is the whole point isn’t it ? Some people clearly think that if all the other loos are in use, it’s fine to use the accessible ones. It’s not. They’re there for people who have difficulties caused by genuine disability, not just because they’ve stood for a long time in the queue. This is why I don’t think it’s unreasonable to challenge if you suspect abuse. Provided it’s done in the right way and isn’t offensive or intrusive.

I work as a first aid officer. Part of my job description is to assist differently-abled patrons to the accessible toilets. The number of people who push past in a rush to get there before I do is nauseating. I have had to argue with someone that the male/female + wheelchair sign doesn’t mean anyone can/should use that loo. It means that it is accessible to both genders of differently-abled people.(There are plenty of regular male/female loos within 10 meters of the one I am referring to.)

"differently abled"?

And in all this let’s not forget that most disabled toilet facilities are just a box ticking exercise and don’t actually meet the needs of those who need them the most.

a lot of places I struggle to get ds in his children’s wheelchair in let alone it being suitable for those with more complex needs. Them becoming a free for all just adds yet another barrier stopping those who need them going out

It’s a phrase thought up by some PC able bodied person to describe disabled people, in case the word ‘disabled’ is too much for the poor little darlings to handle !!

Don’t be patronizing. Where I live it is the common-use term. It also embraces people with hidden disabilities.

It really doesn’t.

disabled is a word that covers it just fine. Wooly phrases don’t help and just make it seem like disabled is some sort of bad word!

It's funny how disabled people (generally, I'm aware that twitter / x isn't representation of disabled people) don't like that term. It's not embracing, it ignores the challenges we face

What really is wrong with disabled? It's not a dirty word

They did recount actual experiences before I posted this, however that doesn’t change the fact that this response was to a comment they made to me prior to them doing so. Their comments afterwards are irrelevant to my response to this specific post. I did read ‘that far’, I’ve read the whole thread. It still doesn’t change my response to this post made prior to those comments. However, I don’t agree that it is ever acceptable to call someone out for using a disabled toilet when there is no way of knowing if they truly need it or not without questioning them. Disabled people should not have to explain their disabilities to anyone.

Quite, I have a hidden disability, I’m disabled by it not differently abled.

"Differently abled" is patronising. Call us disabled please.

Where do you live? It’s a stupid phrase that perpetrates the myth that being disabled somehow makes people ‘special’ or have special abilities to replace those that they have lost.

My condition doesn’t make me ‘differently abled’, it makes me unable to walk around, need to use continence aids, it makes my arms weak so I can’t feed myself sometimes… it takes away these abilities, literally disabling me.

The word ‘disabled’ embraces people with hidden disability just fine, as well as those whose ‘differences’ are there for all the world to see !! Disabled people don’t need to be patronised by having our ‘status’ constantly updated with different PC phrases. Handicapped was a word I didn’t like and I think that was the general consensus, but disabled isn’t offensive or non-inclusive in any way.

This. Successive governments have also changed the names of sickness and disability benefits so that they don’t reflect disability - think Sickness Benefit becoming Employment and Support Allowance, or Disability Living Allowance becoming Personal Independence Payment. The reasoning for this is becoming clearer as these benefits are made harder and harder to claim by the very ‘disabled’ people they’re supposed to help. So editing out the word ‘disabled’ and replacing it with vague allusions to different abilities, as you so rightly say, makes it easier to ignore the challenges faced by disabled people.

Maybe we should put our energies into practical ways of making the lives of disabled people easier and being more inclusive in behaviour, rather than wasting that energy on pointlessly redefining words that need no further explanation, with phrases that just muddy the waters and are of no practical use to anyone.

We agree to disagree then, ok. And we’ll also have to agree to disagree on challenging people using accessible toilets if there’s a suspicion that they’re abusing them. I’m not talking about abusive or intrusive questioning or demanding to know the details of the condition. I’m talking about people simply pointing out that the facilities are there for the disabled.

As I explained upthread I’ve been challenged like this numerous times and where it’s polite, not intrusive or offensive, and intended to protect the facility from abuse, I see no reason to be offended - if they’re just being nosy and intrusive they get short shrift and I’m not suggesting for a moment that anyone needs to disclose details of their condition. If you’re eligible to use the facilities you just say so - if they persist, it’s ’mind your own business’. End of. Some people here seem to think disabled people are delicate doily’s and need to be cosseted. We don’t. We’re perfectly capable of speaking up when we need to, and should be invested in keeping these facilities free from abuse and available to those who need them.

Same with disabled parking spaces. Abuse is widespread but people get flamed on MN for challenging even those who are clearly abusing them - if someone pulls up into a disabled space, jumps out of the car in 4 inch heels and runs into the shop, regardless of any hidden disability, they clearly don’t need to take up a disabled space, while someone may be driving round looking for somewhere to safely use a wheelchair, or for a space nearer the door because walking is difficult or painful. Blue badges are being handed out like sweets if what I see locally is anything to go by, and if a hidden disability doesn’t affect your mobility then I don’t see the need. If we don’t challenge when it’s reasonable these concessions will end up meaningless.

We will have to agree to disagree. Just because you see no reason to be offended by being questioned (no matter how politely) not everyone else feels the same. There are plenty other posters on this thread who have said similar. That doesn’t mean those people are ‘delicate doily's’ as you put it.