When I say ban my mum, this would possibly mean her banging on the door, shouting through the letter box and calling texting myself and DD on Christmas Day.
Long story short:
She said she was going away this Christmas and will not be seeing any of her kids or grandchildren until the new year.
We were all fine with this and all made our own plans.
I invited my dad around instead and planned my Christmas without her.
She then had her Xmas plans cancelled a few weeks ago and demanded that she spends xmas at mine with me.
My mum and dad have broken up and this would cause drama.
She kept on and my dad said that he doesn’t want to come anymore and to let my mum come instead, as she deserves to be there more.
This sounds kind but I believe he did it as he has a history of wanting to be in the same room as my mum (they’ve got back together and broke up more times than I can count).
Last year we planned to have Xmas eve with my dad and Xmas day and Boxing Day with my mum.
My dad then invited my mum without us knowing and it was awkward the whole time.
So I change my plans and arrange my entire day around my mum because she’s made me feel guilty.
I’m not allowed in her home and so she would have to come to mine and therefore I’d be the one cooking etc too.
I’ve just received a text from my mum saying I’ll need to feed her cats as she’s going away over Xmas with someone else now (she lives 30miles away from my home and 60miles away from my work).
Obviously I’m very annoyed that she’s dropped me after I changed all of my plans to suit her and expects me to feed her cats (she knows I wouldn’t let them risk starving) but what I’m getting worked up about is that I can imagine her plans are going to get cancelled and then she’s going to expect to come to mine again.
How can I stop her turning up at my house on Xmas day?
She is very good at making you feel guilty and will ring and text crying saying she’s all alone on Xmas day etc.
I do have 2 sisters but they both live with their DPs and she doesn’t want to see them.
I’m a single parent and so she thinks she can turn up to mine because she won’t act that way in front of the DPs.
AIBU to want to ban her from my home?
YABU - do not ban her.
Its Xmas, let her come over if she’s on her own with no other plans.
YANBU - do ban her.
Xmas should not be all about her and she can’t keep expecting me to be the back up option if she has nowhere better to go.