Yr 6 prom and inclusivity

[Angelik]

I'd like to ensure my dd's y6 prom is as inclusive as possible. I'm happy to organise and run stuff. Prom organisers are set on a disco-fine but it's not for everyone. When I asked what we're doing for those with sensory issues or who just don't like loud music was told they could have ear defenders which I think is insufficient. One patent said SEN children shouldn't be forced to come by parents, implying that's the only reason they did come, that I should survey for sensory needs (!) and there are other fun things (a hoodie and a water fight on other day - this has got to be discrimination) for them, that they have joined in happily before (don't know how they would know) and we can't cater for everyone!

My feeling is disabled people shouldn't have to keep flagging their needs. Society should pause and think.

Aibu that the prom attitude is quite shit or am I making an issue out of nothing?

Every school I've worked in, over the last 15 years, has had a quiet room set up for school discos.

Put some colour sheets in there and a film to watch. Easy.

Just offer to organise/ supervise the room OP.

My suggestions

1. Don't call it a prom. The word prom has connotations of expense, fancy clothes etc etc. Call it a disco or a party.
2. Put the refreshments into the quiet/break out room. That way everyone will naturally go in there some of the time which will seem more natural.

I agree you should ask the parents of those children what would work for them. And definitely have a quiet space/area. Good on you for caring.

In all my memories of PTA organized stuff one factor is basically that there was practically no budget whatsoever. Disco = volunteer parent DJ using existing school sound system. Teachers would act as security or sometimes the local police if it was a community event open to kids from other schools. Most PTA events seemed designed to make money which was then put back into things like subsidizing school trips for struggling families. I was imagining 200 headsets for kids at disco and that that would be prohibitively expensive, especially if you had to pay for any breakages or if there was a good chance some of the headphones would disappear and not be returned… But then maybe my school 20 years ago was just really rough.
You couldn’t just hire 5 headsets for the kids who might want them. They’d still be surrounded by the noise+lights. It would need to be for everyone.
It really wasn’t about suggesting no money should be spent on accessibility, rather me imagining a budget of zero, a door charge of 1 quid and entirely staffed my parent and teacher volunteers.

@AmyDudley
I think OP is being unreasonable expecting the volunteer parents on the end of year disco-committee to organize things that aren’t a disco. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t adapt stuff to include students who might need/benefit from adaptations - like setting the light level higher if there are student with vision or mobility issues who would struggle in the dark. Or providing ear defenders and getting a couple of volunteers to staff a break out room. But expecting volunteers to organize a second completely different event (still presumably on a budget of zero) because some students don’t like discos is just going to result in no volunteers next time.

DDs school offer a quiet room during school discos with craft activities for the children who don’t want to be in the hall. DD has ASD and it works well, she can put on ear defenders to go into the disco but if she gets overwhelmed she has somewhere to retreat to. It’s not very difficult to set up and only takes a couple more staff/volunteers.

Ours was called a leavers disco. It was dancing in a hot room so most kids ended up running in the field outside throwing water at each other and having great fun.

Are you talking about an event in July 24? You have plenty of time to plan!

In the summer it’s quite easy to have some outside space for kids to relax in. Failing that, a quiet room is easy to organise.

Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be.

I have 3 dc, two have SEN, one physically, with an unusual physical disability.

It is incredibly irritating when someone tells you that they are ensuring that your dc is included without checking what they actually need/want.
It rarely comes across as anything other than the person trying to performance how great they are without actually caring for the dc involved. In those circumstances I've also found that when I've said what would actually be helpful, which is normally far less hassle/noticeable than what they want to do, that they aren't prepared to do that.

And for what it's worth, ds who has ASD thinks that silent discos are far worse than any noise you can put past him, despite him being fairly noise sensitive.
He would tell you that the only reason to go to such an event is to have fun with friends, which if you can't make rude jokes to each other because you've all got headphones on then you might as well not go.
He might go to a quieter room if there was football of some description on offer, but then it probably wouldn't end up being quiet any longer. 🤣

I used to help run primary school discos when my kids were young (one of whom has SEN and sensory issues), we always had a classroom set up as a quieter area with a movie playing. Lots of kids would take a break in there.

A leavers party/prom at the end of secondary is fine, but they don't need anything before that imho (other than the odd class party/disco).

A lot of the suggestions whilst in good intentions are too young for a leavers prom, these are 16 year olds so colouring and board games are not going to interest them. Also a lot of proms aren't on school premises and are at a venue. My DS prom was organised by parents at a local club. There was a chill out room which just had comfy seats, they didn't need anything else as they either chatted to each other or were on their phones, although from what I understand hardly anyone used the room. They had a Photo Booth and a free casino which was a huge hit, disco and a band for part of it. You could put the Photo Booth in the chill out room so there is something to 'watch' even when having a bit of space if you felt the need. They are young adults and should be treated as such.

Sorry just saw it was a year 6 prom! Ignore my post.