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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Employee feels micromanaged if I give her tasks with deadlines

638 replies

calmama · 08/12/2023 09:11

I manage a person who is generally difficult. She objects to… well everything and undermines me at every chance she gets.

When she first started working for me we sat down together and established a work plan to get our job done and keep us on track to meet deadlines. We agreed I would assign daily tasks and we would meet weekly to discuss progress on projects along with anything new we had to take on, along with any business changes, leave, etc.

Weeks down the line she exploded at me for colour coding priorities, saying the urgent (red) tasks were ‘very unfriendly and freaking her out’. I took the red out.

A few weeks later she exploded at me for ‘micromanaging and bullying her’ by sending her daily priorities, despite this being agreed upon from the very start. I asked for an alternative way of progressing projects. She had none.

Today she exploded at me for setting deadlines because they ‘stress her out’. Again, I asked her for an alternative way of doing things and she had none.

I’m at a loss. She’s doing honestly the bare minimum and can’t seem to cope. I’m having to pick up her slack because otherwise my team looks bad, yet I’m still copping the brunt of her rage and there’s no end in sight.

AIBU to throw my hands in the air and take a long vacation?

OP posts:
Original poster
calmama · 08/12/2023 10:32

@Morred thanks for this. Definitely worth a try. I can already see she will likely take it badly but it’s a good plan, so thanks!

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 08/12/2023 10:32

thebellagio · 08/12/2023 10:18

I KNEW this would be someone in marketing.

I've worked with so many people like this. As a junior exec its absolutely expected that you get given daily job lists - else how else do they learn what needs to be done? Especially in event planning.

But if she's not responding to normal task delegation, then she needs to either pull her weight or be shipped out.

I'm surprised because even as a secretary, I would be able to figure out for myself by when the quotes from venues were needed because I'd know when the event would be. I'm surprised an executive would even do these tasks to be honest.

My first thought was civil service where you have people sometimes line managing just one person immediately below them and having a lot of time to supervise that employee.

bonzaitree · 08/12/2023 10:33

If she has worked there less than 2 years you can get rid pretty easily.

Speak to HR, put her on a Performance Improvement Plan. If she doesn’t improve sack her and pay her notice.

Done.

Chersfrozenface · 08/12/2023 10:35

I'm going back to
"I have already left her to it, only to find nothing progresses and get some feeble excuse like she couldn’t find the number of the venue."

She couldn't find the venue:s number?

That says ot all, really.

IncompleteSenten · 08/12/2023 10:35

Sounds like she's using these claims to get out of doing her work.

Go down the normal poor performing employee route. Follow whatever procedures you have in place. Go by the book and keep good records.

QueenCoconut · 08/12/2023 10:36

Would you be willing to replace the daily task list with a twice-weekly huddle (stand-up meeting)? 15 min team catch up what is everyone working on today, do you need to escalate anything, do you need support from others? No support required- ok then in next meeting ask her how did it go with X social media post ? Always start with letting your team speak first so it doesn’t become you giving out tasks unless necessary.

Cheeesus · 08/12/2023 10:36

Keep your own manager up to date with the full situation too. And have you asked them for advise?

MMMarmite · 08/12/2023 10:37

Honestly I'd work with HR to start the performance management process. It sounds like you are being forced to micromanage her because she is not competent or not willing to do her tasks reliably. I think she's not right for the job.

LusaBatoosa · 08/12/2023 10:38

People have asked this, but you haven’t answered: why aren’t you addressing her behaviour? She’s not doing the agreed work and she’s exploding at you, so do something about it. This ‘clean slate’ silliness is pointless and inappropriate, you’re not mates in primary school making up after a row.

You need to have a meeting, preferably with HR or another appropriate third party present. Outline the issues and see if you can come up with a mutually acceptable solution. Be very clear on what success looks like with regards to this and that if there has not been a marked improvement by X point, you will be forced to place her on a performance management plan. If things haven’t improved by X point, then put her on performance management.

You need to actually manage her. There’s more to that than just delegating tasks.

FarEast · 08/12/2023 10:38

Say I set her three tasks for the day: 1. Do an urgent social media post about x (no research or anything required, just a simple but timely post), 2. Contact a venue re potentially holding an event there next year, and 3. Look into caterers at said venue for a quote. Does this seem like something you could get done in a week?

Crikey! I'd do those tasks before breakfast in a couple of hours & post on MN at the same time! It takes her a week?????

She is either lazy or incapable.

RudsyFarmer · 08/12/2023 10:40

Is she WFH?

MuckyPlucky · 08/12/2023 10:44

I had to manage someone in this way in the past (task lists, doing her prioritisation for her etc) BUT… this was as part of her PIP after having already ascertained (over many months) that she wasn’t doing her job properly…. I really begrudged having to do the lists / prioritisation for her (as she should’ve been able to do that for herself, rather than adding it to my to-do list).

But it sounds like you started off like this from the outset… which is not an ideal management style & may have encouraged learnt-helplessness / de-motivation. Hence she became rubbish at her job as a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Ragwort · 08/12/2023 10:45

What exactly is she doing with her time? Does she work for other people?

kitsuneghost · 08/12/2023 10:46

The daily tasks and priorities are great for the first couple of weeks then you need to start to let go.

Start saying we are looking to get this bit done by the end of the week and see how it's going in your weekly meeting.

If she is looking fine for a few weeks then give a little more trust. Client wants this by xxx and start to check in a little less.

Folklore9074 · 08/12/2023 10:46

Maybe your management style is very task and detail oriented, sometimes thats the way it goes with managers. There is clearly a lack of trust between you and she isn’t meeting her performance outcomes. In a 1-2-1 I would set out what the performance outcomes are and say you don’t want to closely supervise but it’s part of the job to make sure x, y,z is met. Document the conversation. Then look at your organisation’s performance manager process. If you are a medium sized organisation there likely is a clearly outlines route for low performers. The next time it happens let her know that the task/objectives need to be met, this is a conversation to have with HR if you have one. If in a conversation she starts to ‘explode’ stop the discussion immediately and say we are parking this until you can discuss this calmly. Everyone has the right to feel safe in the workplace. Regular shouting at your manager is probably grounds for dismissal along with the lack of reaching performance outcomes. Hire better next time!

EBearhug · 08/12/2023 10:46

Surely deadlines are a key part for prioritising things? If I'm given a task, it's usually the first question I ask, because knowing something is due by the end of the day or week or month makes a difference to when I start looking at it compared with other things going on. And RAG reporting is normal.

So, she explodes and says things don't work for her - has she said what would work for her? How would she like to prioritise tasks? When other people need information by a particular time, how would she propose they tell her that without a deadline? I am assuming she does understand that there is a need for her to do things and produce output of some sort to retain her job, that that is the point of her being there? I'd also want her to understand that exploding at people isn't acceptable, but I'd probably focus on her getting the job done first. Does she have any understanding that her behaviour - not producing work when needed, and exploding at people - impacts others? If she doesn't want to be micromanaged, she needs to show she can do what is required without it, so how does she think she will do that?

It's not like a good manager wants to micromanage anyone - it's time-consuming, and usually quicker to do things yourself. There are times, like when someone is first starting out or has performance issues, when it's necessary, but it's still a pain.

twobluechickens · 08/12/2023 10:48

I work with a bloke like this. He's still within his probation period but instead of getting rid, they've moved him to a different role where he continues to do almost fuck all. It really grinds my gears but at least I don't have to manage him. But his crappy attitude and his manager not managing him has caused a lot of resentment within the rest of the team, who are a hardworking bunch.

BubbleBubbleBubbleBubblePop · 08/12/2023 10:48

She truly sounds like a nightmare. It sounds as though she's trying to make herself as unapproachable as possible so that you just leave her alone to do sod all.

I think you need to go to HR. She's had too many chances with you.

SkyFullofStars1975 · 08/12/2023 10:49

Stop enabling her to behave like this. Let her fail. It may look bad on you initially, but that's when you go to your manager and say that you can't deal with this person because they refuse to respond to any direction and shout bullying at you.

Life's too short.

Tereo · 08/12/2023 10:50

I wouldn't like to get daily priorities from my boss... I think it is micromanaging... Weekly or monthly plan and leave her up it

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 08/12/2023 10:50

People are focusing on the mico management but this employee sounds like she has been given ample opportunity to pull her own weight and has not done it.
Can you begin performance management?
Also, can we talk about the 'exploding'? That sounds bang out of order and I'd be having a meeting to discuss that as that is behaviours and conduct.

bryceQ · 08/12/2023 10:50

Morred · 08/12/2023 10:03

Call her bluff, in writing.

Dear X,
I understand that you would prefer to work in the following way:

  • no daily task list
  • no colour-coding of priorities
  • no reminding of deadlines

Given that, I am willing to trial a new system. Key projects and priorities will be shared via (Planner/excel tracker/trello board) and as a team we will have a 10-minute stand up meeting on Tuesdays and Thursdays to review progress on the key projects. Beyond those meetings, I am trusting your judgement and expertise to achieve the daily tasks that maintain progress towards project completion (e.g. social media post, booking venues, etc.). If you are unsure how we should prioritise those tasks day-to-day, we can discuss in the stand-up meetings, or in our fortnightly 1-2-1 meetings.

We will review this arrangement in 3 weeks to see if this way of working is a productive way forward for us both.

Then when she fails to do anything about that, go to HR and get her on a performance management plan.

This is a good idea

coffeeaddict77 · 08/12/2023 10:52

I would hate working with you OP. You really are micromanaging her. The meetings and the charts are a very probably a waste of your and also her time. You need to set longer term deadlines and if she doesn't met them then see your management about getting rid of her.

Original poster
calmama · 08/12/2023 10:52

Thank you @Diamondcurtains . I feel like I have tried everything but just can’t win. Meanwhile the work piles up. I think it’s clear she’s not doing the work yet I keep being accused on this thread of being awful. Or my favourite, that I’m new to management. Not new to management at all, but I’ve never had to manage quite a character before. Many difficult people yes. But not like this. If anything, I think I’ve been way too kind to date!

OP posts:
MrsCarson · 08/12/2023 10:53

calmama · 08/12/2023 09:22

@Aprilx She isn’t privy to the information I am so I have no choice but to communicate tasks to her. She can’t get on with her job even with tasks so without them it would be hopeless.

Say I set her three tasks for the day: 1. Do an urgent social media post about x (no research or anything required, just a simple but timely post), 2. Contact a venue re potentially holding an event there next year, and 3. Look into caterers at said venue for a quote. Does this seem like something you could get done in a week?

Hell I wish that was all I had to do in a week. I do more than that in one afternoon some days.
I'd stick everything needed in one email and leave her to it, then when it comes time when it all should have been completed go and see what's been done. She can either do it or she can't.
I have a running list of admin tasks (on top of my usual jobs) I'm completing and share it with my co worker and we try to get through the lot before leaving, then hand it over via a diary to next people on shift if things still need completing.