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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Employee feels micromanaged if I give her tasks with deadlines

638 replies

calmama · 08/12/2023 09:11

I manage a person who is generally difficult. She objects to… well everything and undermines me at every chance she gets.

When she first started working for me we sat down together and established a work plan to get our job done and keep us on track to meet deadlines. We agreed I would assign daily tasks and we would meet weekly to discuss progress on projects along with anything new we had to take on, along with any business changes, leave, etc.

Weeks down the line she exploded at me for colour coding priorities, saying the urgent (red) tasks were ‘very unfriendly and freaking her out’. I took the red out.

A few weeks later she exploded at me for ‘micromanaging and bullying her’ by sending her daily priorities, despite this being agreed upon from the very start. I asked for an alternative way of progressing projects. She had none.

Today she exploded at me for setting deadlines because they ‘stress her out’. Again, I asked her for an alternative way of doing things and she had none.

I’m at a loss. She’s doing honestly the bare minimum and can’t seem to cope. I’m having to pick up her slack because otherwise my team looks bad, yet I’m still copping the brunt of her rage and there’s no end in sight.

AIBU to throw my hands in the air and take a long vacation?

OP posts:
Missflowers1981 · 10/12/2023 09:24

I don’t particularly like being micro managed but I am organised and able to meet deadlines- I have seen people who are like your employee and it can actually be irritating for other people on a team who do the job required but are having to pick up or redo simple tasks you think they would know. And to be honest if I couldn’t do the job I would know it and make plans to leave and find something I could do.

whatchagonnado · 10/12/2023 09:34

You must address her behaviour and attitude as a Manager, as it will have an overall very detrimental effect on team morale if you don't. I bet your other team members are picking up some of her slack too. You won't be the only one fed up with her and you'll get credibility if you tackle it effectively. Good luck!

PKDaisy · 10/12/2023 09:37

Put fair targets in place for everyone and if they are not met satisfactory for a month put her and anyone else on a warning. Three strikes and you are out. Lots of people would gladly take the job I’m sure. Lazy people will always be happy to foist their work onto someone else. I also think you are fixating on her. Get it sorted.

LubyLooTwo · 10/12/2023 09:40

Yes you are micromanaging her. It sounds like she has little say over the work she carries out and you are treating her like your personal assistant or slave. I wonder what is laid out in the JD. Rather than setting daily tasks is it possible to set tasks for the week to allow her to feel as though she has some control over her routine.

harriettenightingale · 10/12/2023 09:42

As a manager you need to follow the company processes, including performance management. This is gaslighting.

How exactly is it "gaslighting"?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/12/2023 09:42

554 posts in and still people aren't reading beyond the thread title! Read the OP's posts.

Daylightsavingstime · 10/12/2023 09:43

OP i have read all your replies but haven't seen anywhere that you are making notes of all conversations and incidents and speaking to HR for support in managing her. It seems you just keeping trying to appease someone who is being unprofessional towards you and clearly incompetent rather than actually managing the poor performance.
Just get HR involved and note each and every time you speak with her or she doesn't follow instruction, including all offers of training and support. And if not already done, manage any repeated absences too.

RampantIvy · 10/12/2023 09:44

LubyLooTwo · 10/12/2023 09:40

Yes you are micromanaging her. It sounds like she has little say over the work she carries out and you are treating her like your personal assistant or slave. I wonder what is laid out in the JD. Rather than setting daily tasks is it possible to set tasks for the week to allow her to feel as though she has some control over her routine.

The employee is lazy, lies to her manager, shouts at her and doesn't do the work she is allocated. Without "micromanaging" she would do no work at all.

You would know this if you had read all the OP's updates.

The OP isn't micromanaging her, she is trying to support her to get some work done.

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 10/12/2023 09:46

Morred · 08/12/2023 10:03

Call her bluff, in writing.

Dear X,
I understand that you would prefer to work in the following way:

  • no daily task list
  • no colour-coding of priorities
  • no reminding of deadlines

Given that, I am willing to trial a new system. Key projects and priorities will be shared via (Planner/excel tracker/trello board) and as a team we will have a 10-minute stand up meeting on Tuesdays and Thursdays to review progress on the key projects. Beyond those meetings, I am trusting your judgement and expertise to achieve the daily tasks that maintain progress towards project completion (e.g. social media post, booking venues, etc.). If you are unsure how we should prioritise those tasks day-to-day, we can discuss in the stand-up meetings, or in our fortnightly 1-2-1 meetings.

We will review this arrangement in 3 weeks to see if this way of working is a productive way forward for us both.

Then when she fails to do anything about that, go to HR and get her on a performance management plan.

👆🏻 this with bells on!

Also, next time she explodes at you you say ‘you are continually exploding at me, it is unprofessional and unecessary. If there is a problem we need to discuss it calmly and rationally where we can seek alternative ways of working, but you need to bring solutions to the table for that alongside discussing the problems so that we are able to find workable ways forward’. If you loose your tempter with me again, it will be a formal warning’.

CambridgeBuns · 10/12/2023 09:58

@harriettenightingale Gaslighting is designed to undermine an individual's confidence in their own perceptions, judgments, and abilities. As a result, the targeted employee may begin to doubt themselves, question their skills and competencies, and lose confidence in their decision-making abilities. This erosion of self-confidence can lead to decreased motivation, self-doubt, and reluctance to voice opinions or take initiatives at work.

  1. Emotional Distress and Stress - Gaslighting tactics often involve manipulating and distorting the truth, making the target question their memory or sanity…. Don’t throw stones in your glass house. It’s the first rule of people management.
Beetlejuice43 · 10/12/2023 10:07

I can’t believe the comments defending the employee. 🤷‍♀️
If I spoke to my LM like that I would be OUT!
She’s not even getting it done with the help and if she fails the manager will get the blame.
No wonder the country is in the state it is with everyone defending hopeless lazy people.

harriettenightingale · 10/12/2023 10:09

I know what gaslighting is, I don't believe the poster has enough information to assert that that is going on here. To use another popular psychological term, it seems a lot of people are projecting their own issues in the workplace onto OP. This employee sounds lazy, deceitful and manipulative. None of us know more than the OP about it. These people do exist, believe it or not.

harriettenightingale · 10/12/2023 10:11

As another poster said, dignity in the workplace applies as much to the manager as their subordinates. No one should be bullied. And yes it is possible for junior staff to bully their manager.

BIossomtoes · 10/12/2023 10:13

harriettenightingale · 10/12/2023 10:11

As another poster said, dignity in the workplace applies as much to the manager as their subordinates. No one should be bullied. And yes it is possible for junior staff to bully their manager.

Absolutely it is. I know more than one manager whose life has been made an absolute misery by the bullying behaviour of their direct reports.

Mememe9898 · 10/12/2023 10:19

This could be done in an hour 😅😂

Mememe9898 · 10/12/2023 10:21

Beetlejuice43 · 10/12/2023 10:07

I can’t believe the comments defending the employee. 🤷‍♀️
If I spoke to my LM like that I would be OUT!
She’s not even getting it done with the help and if she fails the manager will get the blame.
No wonder the country is in the state it is with everyone defending hopeless lazy people.

I agree! People seem to always think that the manager is to blame. As a manager I’ve seen a lot of LAZY employees that want to do the bare min and say it’ll take 3 days to do something that takes an hour to the point where you just end up doing it to save your own sanity.

DottyLottieLou · 10/12/2023 10:24

This person isn't doing the job she is paid to do. She agreed to this system herself. How can anyone defend her. Take it you're all just as bad. (Can't work with the colour red, I need a week off to destress 😂) The problem is she is getting away with it as she throws hissy fits. Steps should be taken for her to improve or be sacked.

Codlingmoths · 10/12/2023 10:42

Hilsvision · 10/12/2023 08:59

I strongly advise you to remove this post. It could get you in an awful lot of trouble. I’m a senior HR professional in a large corporate and this could hit you hard if the person you’re complaining about brought this to us. As a manager you need to follow the company processes, including performance management. This is gaslighting.

Define how this is gaslighting.

Tryingmybestadhd · 10/12/2023 10:57

So basically she is not fit for the job and can’t complete tasks ? I manage a 9 people team including 3 juniors we all have weekly targets ( mostly me ) and the juniors have daily ones as they will just stop working if they end their targets and their lack of initiative and capacity to overcome issues is so annoying that I feel if it was weekly it wouldn’t be done .
unless there is something seriously wrong 😑 n her life like illness or other issues , what does age expect to do with no targets , work at anal time while others work normally?

Brokenmiata · 10/12/2023 11:28

If someone were micromanaging me, I'd likely refuse to do the work too or make it my lowest priority 😂. I have ADHD and do things my way, people telling me I'm doing it wrong or in the wrong order would make me want to leave. Perhaps lay off her for a bit and see what she does.

BIossomtoes · 10/12/2023 11:35

Brokenmiata · 10/12/2023 11:28

If someone were micromanaging me, I'd likely refuse to do the work too or make it my lowest priority 😂. I have ADHD and do things my way, people telling me I'm doing it wrong or in the wrong order would make me want to leave. Perhaps lay off her for a bit and see what she does.

It would be excellent news for OP if she left. She won’t though because she’s currently getting a very easy ride.

DonnaBanana · 10/12/2023 11:38

Tryingmybestadhd · 10/12/2023 10:57

So basically she is not fit for the job and can’t complete tasks ? I manage a 9 people team including 3 juniors we all have weekly targets ( mostly me ) and the juniors have daily ones as they will just stop working if they end their targets and their lack of initiative and capacity to overcome issues is so annoying that I feel if it was weekly it wouldn’t be done .
unless there is something seriously wrong 😑 n her life like illness or other issues , what does age expect to do with no targets , work at anal time while others work normally?

Anal time? They don’t work at Center Parcs

NicolaPower64 · 10/12/2023 11:45

Is there someone in management you can talk to about her laziness and lack of enthusiasm. Personally I would report her. You shouldn't have to do her work. I have had situations like this, when I worked too hard and too late, to the detriment of my home life. If I had my time again I would tell management about that person.

Tryingmybestadhd · 10/12/2023 11:57

DonnaBanana · 10/12/2023 11:38

Anal time? They don’t work at Center Parcs

Show quote history

😜 that’s a funny spelling mistake . No my job is very boring indeed no anal or anything similar 😂😂😂.
It was supposed to say anal but I think I had the keyboard in Spanish 🤦🏻‍♀️

CountessWindyBottom · 10/12/2023 12:01

I wouldn’t be wasting any more time hoping she’ll actually do her job: Escalate to HR and manage her out as soon as possible.