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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Employee feels micromanaged if I give her tasks with deadlines

638 replies

calmama · 08/12/2023 09:11

I manage a person who is generally difficult. She objects to… well everything and undermines me at every chance she gets.

When she first started working for me we sat down together and established a work plan to get our job done and keep us on track to meet deadlines. We agreed I would assign daily tasks and we would meet weekly to discuss progress on projects along with anything new we had to take on, along with any business changes, leave, etc.

Weeks down the line she exploded at me for colour coding priorities, saying the urgent (red) tasks were ‘very unfriendly and freaking her out’. I took the red out.

A few weeks later she exploded at me for ‘micromanaging and bullying her’ by sending her daily priorities, despite this being agreed upon from the very start. I asked for an alternative way of progressing projects. She had none.

Today she exploded at me for setting deadlines because they ‘stress her out’. Again, I asked her for an alternative way of doing things and she had none.

I’m at a loss. She’s doing honestly the bare minimum and can’t seem to cope. I’m having to pick up her slack because otherwise my team looks bad, yet I’m still copping the brunt of her rage and there’s no end in sight.

AIBU to throw my hands in the air and take a long vacation?

OP posts:
redxlondon · 08/12/2023 12:56

fragilrock00 · 08/12/2023 12:52

You're making a rod for your own back by setting her daily priorities. You're doing it as she isn't doing her job but it isn't the best to manage poor performance. Set her annual objectives, give her deadlines for work and projects with a clear explanation of the impact on business KPIs if deadlines weren't met. Leave her to it. Then just record everytime the deadline isn't met along with the impact to you or your team (eg- more expensive as venue not booked in time, someone else staying late etc) - discuss it with her and agree how she plans to manage her workload. Once the missed deadlines stack up to a critical mass, I would have a performance convo with her and HR.

This 🌟

themusingsofaninsomniac · 08/12/2023 12:57

Aprilx · 08/12/2023 09:15

I think she is right, you are micro managing her. Are you new to management, because setting daily tasks, priorities and colour coding activities is going t stress a lot of people at and really is not normal. You need to trust her to get on with her job.

Edited

I agree with this. I would want to be trusted to do my job and manage my priorities and daily workload.

All she really needs is to be aware of what she needs to get done, deadlines if required ie. Project due on X, draft expected on X, some of which may be agreed together if not business imposed.

The colour coding and over the top breaking down is definitely micromanaging. I'd maybe ask her how she might like to work as everyone works differently.

Daily breakdowns like that are way too much and I wouldn't be any more specific than like a few weeks and what needs to be done (depending what job role and department this is of course)

Anisette · 08/12/2023 12:58

If she has been there less than two years, I don't really understand why anyone is putting up with this. Does she have a protected characteristic?

Sofita90 · 08/12/2023 12:59

As a manager you need to create trust. You need to understand why she didn't do anything? Does she need training , support does she have a mentor in the team ? Are you the person who would support her if yes does she feel confident to text you and ask assistant. Ask her questions like why you didn't manage what difficulties you had ect

user1496146479 · 08/12/2023 13:01

mantyzer · 08/12/2023 11:13

You are micro managing her. Being micro managed is incredibly stressful and people rarely [perform well under this kind of pressure.
She is right, you are bullying her.

FFS!! Bullying! Grow up!

Anisette · 08/12/2023 13:01

I agree with this. I would want to be trusted to do my job and manage my priorities and daily workload.

All she really needs is to be aware of what she needs to get done, deadlines if required ie. Project due on X, draft expected on X, some of which may be agreed together if not business imposed.

But what do you suggest a manager should do if someone cannot be trusted to do their job and manage their workload? OP has tried to do things this person's way and nothing has improved.

madaboutmad · 08/12/2023 13:01

LetMeGoogleThat · 08/12/2023 12:53

Ok. Well, you can carry on arguing about 2 people that you don't know..... I have a few high performing teams to go and manage.....

Show quote history

😂

themusingsofaninsomniac · 08/12/2023 13:02

calmama · 08/12/2023 09:25

@Hankunamatata She’s never progressing though. We had a meeting today. She’d done nothing.

Probably because the way you're working is not something she feels comfortable with. I think she needs some freedom and decision to do things for herself - if she falls flat on her face then you address that then, but don't assume she will before you've tested it. It would honestly drive most people crazy to be manage like this. It's also really disheartening if your manager thinks this of you so she is probably picking up on this which is also affecting her morale and motivation. I'd try supporting her first and asking what she needs.. rather than demeaning her and writing off her abilities from the get go..

It sounds like on a personal level the two of you don't get on?

themusingsofaninsomniac · 08/12/2023 13:02

Greycottage · 08/12/2023 09:25

Why can’t she just be copied into the email communications to begin with (from clients?). Then you can say in the email replies to clients, “Sarah will get in touch with the venue and get back to with the dates”, then see if she does.

I couldn’t cope with being micromanaged like this, it’s insane.

Your hardly doing top secret work where the relevant people at your company can’t just be copied in.

And this too. In the examples you've given I don't see why she wouldn't be included. This is also going to make her feel like shit as I'd expected to be more directly involved in these scenarios

WonderingAboutThus · 08/12/2023 13:07

Christ, all this focus on micromanaging. That's the least of the problems here.

You need to manage her.

Hold her accountable for bad behaviour. Don't walk on eggshells. Get very clear on the tools you have if she doesn't meet standards.

And yes, maybe you need to micromanage less, but you DEFINITELY need to manage more.

Seaweed42 · 08/12/2023 13:07

Is she still on probation?
Because if so, I'd query if she's the right fit for this job.
Sounds like she's in the wrong job.
She doesn't like it and isn't at all enthusiastic.

She's acting like a teenager and you are getting pulled into being her mother.

WonderingAboutThus · 08/12/2023 13:08

SovietSpy · 08/12/2023 12:13

If you can’t get her to tell you what she spends her time doing at work then there is a huge problem. As a manager it’s not unreasonable to have sight of this and you need to be clear with her that there are serious consequences if she doesn’t engage with you.
Most employees don’t want to get sacked or be on improvement plans and would welcome help to get back on track. So the fact she is putting up so many barriers suggests she doesn’t care or is just biding her time getting paid to do nothing and see how long she can get away with it for.
If she’s refusing to engage or ‘going nuclear’ then it’s HR time. I am often too nice a manager but if someone shouted at me at work I would say I was going to end the call or ask them to leave the meeting until they have calmed down. And get every instance documented. The employee could easily be breaking your code of conduct if she behaves this way.

All of this is very true.

Original poster
calmama · 08/12/2023 13:10

@Catza please provide an example of a mixed message.

OP posts:
harriettenightingale · 08/12/2023 13:10

There are some hilariously precious prima donnas on this thread who I imagine are much like the OP's colleague for others to work with.

Toetouchingtitties · 08/12/2023 13:11

TLDR the whole thread.

Do you think she might have inattentive ADHD? Not excusing her behaviour, but may explain it.

Chickenkeev · 08/12/2023 13:13

Anisette · 08/12/2023 13:01

I agree with this. I would want to be trusted to do my job and manage my priorities and daily workload.

All she really needs is to be aware of what she needs to get done, deadlines if required ie. Project due on X, draft expected on X, some of which may be agreed together if not business imposed.

But what do you suggest a manager should do if someone cannot be trusted to do their job and manage their workload? OP has tried to do things this person's way and nothing has improved.

Edited

This!!! They're not doing the work. OP has to 'micro manage' in this instance.

HermioneWeasley · 08/12/2023 13:13

calmama · 08/12/2023 12:09

@SuperSange Sorry. Definitely under two years.

For the other questions in the thread, I don’t know what she’s doing otherwise. Sometimes she does work from home. Others she claims to be busy doing things I haven’t assigned her to do but she sees as important. Other times she “lost track of time talking to Paula”. Other times “Jack asked me to help fix his phone”. “Can’t get through to xx on the phone.” “Emailed a million times and no response.” Yadayadayada.

If she’s been there under two years just dismiss her with notice. She sounds like a nightmare.

Chickenkeev · 08/12/2023 13:15

Toetouchingtitties · 08/12/2023 13:11

TLDR the whole thread.

Do you think she might have inattentive ADHD? Not excusing her behaviour, but may explain it.

If she does, she needs to raise it and get her accommodations sorted. I don't think it would be appropriate for a manager to suggest it.

Ginnnny · 08/12/2023 13:16

Get HR involved. Document everything, from your agreement at the beginning to when it started going badly. Sounds like she might need to be put on a PIP if probation is already done? I work in HR and line manage a team of staff.

themusingsofaninsomniac · 08/12/2023 13:16

A lot of my previous comments were regarding how the OP could handle the situation better.

That's not to say that the employee may not be lazy or terrible at their job as it's possible they might be. I would implement the strategies people have recommended, give her a bit more control over her workload and evaluate in a few weeks.

If it's a shit show and she hasn't approved then escalate, put her on a performance plan etc and definitely give no time to the tantrum behaviour.

If it does improve then hopefully she just struggled with your imposed ways of working. As a neurodivergent person I'm also wondering if this could be a factor for her.. and so she just feels uncomfortable with you from the get go, may be worth having a meeting together with an impartial HR rep to cover things from both sides. And agree to review in a few weeks and see how you go..

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/12/2023 13:16

I haven't RTFT but have read a lot of comments and all of OP's comments.

I would:

  1. Involve HR and get agreement to instigate PIP, i.e. start managing her out.
  2. Get IT to do a search and see what her internet/computer use is. Just to see if she's spending the day surfing the net on non-work related stuff, as you can then discipline her for that.

At least she's been there less than 2yrs, don't delay starting the process of managing her out, she either sounds incredibly lazy, or has extreme work-related anxiety. The situation is untenable. She is not performing and needs to leave.

Good luck @calmama

nonumbersinthisname · 08/12/2023 13:17

Look up your HR policies on performance management, start implementing a performance improvement plan. Do not accept unprofessional behaviour and use whatever techniques you’d normally use with a difficult client or colleague, eg stepping away from the conversation to give her a chance to calm down. Grey rock. And do not commit anything in writing (even teams messaging) that you wouldn’t be happy to have read out to an employment tribunal in court.

Pinksmyfavoritecolour · 08/12/2023 13:20

She definitely needs to find a job elsewhere, red triggers her, good lord when did people get so wafty.

peachgreen · 08/12/2023 13:22

I work with someone a bit like this and it's EXHAUSTING – she simply cannot manage her own time and I have to do it for her. The difference is that she knows she can't do it and is grateful to me for doing so, not resentful! She sounds utterly useless OP. There's no fixing that kind of attitude. Get rid.

mynewusername2023 · 08/12/2023 13:23

We use project management software to track all jobs, deadlines and progress. Once a week we have a meeting to allocate new jobs and update on existing ones. That way everyone sees the progress and who has what work. This could work and then you can performance manage her if she isn't doing what she is being allocated. Definitely involve HR now though.