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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my nose ring in

124 replies

Jixg · 07/12/2023 21:31

I have a nose ring. I’ve had it since I was 16 and it’s very much a part of me and my identity. I started a new office job and they’ve asked me to not wear it to work. Aibu to be upset by this!?

OP posts:
Sauvblanctime · 08/12/2023 11:47

BalloonSalesperson · 08/12/2023 01:03

I don't even know anybody who would notice nor recoil in horror

I would certainly notice. I wouldn't recoil in horror, but I do have an involuntary reaction to nose piercings particularly. My eyes begin to water copiously, and if forced to be face to face in conversation, say, in an interview, talking to a customer etc, I will end up with tears streaming down my face. The more piercings there are, the greater the reaction. I can't help it. the piercees must wonder what on earth is wrong with me. Therefore I would be very happy for face and particularly nose piercings to be banned in customer facing roles.

What?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’ve read some things on here but, this is the most bonkers thing I’ve ever read

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/12/2023 11:50

Some people are a bit OTT on here.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/12/2023 12:02

Behindyouiam · 08/12/2023 09:41

@NeverDropYourMooncup that would've really pissed me off.

I'd have been considerably more pissed off had they decided to fail my probationary period instead of giving me the chance to sort it - which they would have been perfectly within the law to do.

If there's a hill for me to die on, it's not going to be fought over a few quids' worth of titanium.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 08/12/2023 12:14

Sauvblanctime · 08/12/2023 11:45

I have my nose pierced and not once has anyone assumed I have a bogey hanging out

🙄

Show quote history

Well they may not have said anything to you....

Sauvblanctime · 08/12/2023 12:38

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 08/12/2023 12:14

Well they may not have said anything to you....

Show quote history

Mum? Is that you?

TinkerTiger · 08/12/2023 12:39

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 07/12/2023 21:35

If your role is client facing, or dealing face to face with anyone, do you want them to think you have a bogey hanging out of your nostril?

Why would anyone think that? It's a ring?

TinkerTiger · 08/12/2023 12:44

Hermittrismegistus · 07/12/2023 22:37

How over the top. Maybe see a gastroenterologist about your overly sensitive stomach

Alternatively, people could just stop inflicting the sight of them upon people.

Alternatively, people as afflicted as you should wear a blindfold when out in the world

TinkerTiger · 08/12/2023 12:47

BalloonSalesperson · 08/12/2023 01:03

I don't even know anybody who would notice nor recoil in horror

I would certainly notice. I wouldn't recoil in horror, but I do have an involuntary reaction to nose piercings particularly. My eyes begin to water copiously, and if forced to be face to face in conversation, say, in an interview, talking to a customer etc, I will end up with tears streaming down my face. The more piercings there are, the greater the reaction. I can't help it. the piercees must wonder what on earth is wrong with me. Therefore I would be very happy for face and particularly nose piercings to be banned in customer facing roles.

Oh my, what is this condition called?

TinkerTiger · 08/12/2023 12:48

This reply has been deleted

We are taking this down as it is not the spirit of the site.

Calm down, it’s a nose ring, not nipple clamps

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/12/2023 12:49

TinkerTiger · 08/12/2023 12:47

Oh my, what is this condition called?

Show quote history

It's called imbeenoverthetop.

CMZ2018 · 08/12/2023 12:55

Probably don’t want you to look like a bull

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 08/12/2023 13:33

Sauvblanctime · 08/12/2023 12:38

Mum? Is that you?

Show quote history

🤣

ManchesterLu · 08/12/2023 13:35

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 21:38

Very old fashioned! I presume you wore it at the interview? They should've mentioned it when offering the job!

Yeah, this. If there's nothing in the job description or contract, and it wasn't mentioned when you were wearing it at the interview, I'd stay strong.

Agapornis · 08/12/2023 14:12

Very old fashioned. Maybe remove it temporarily. Then get face and knuckle tattoos when you've passed probation Wink

Chipsandbeansandcheese · 08/12/2023 14:12

Years ago in the NHS we were only allowed to wear one pair of studs. Now people have all sorts of piercings and tattoos. No one cares.

I love my nose piercing.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/12/2023 14:49

Alternatively, people could just stop inflicting the sight of them upon people.

And I wonder, are you a sight for sore eyes?

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 08/12/2023 15:01

I do not believe that lesbians/ bisexuals consider facial piercings an integral part of any "cultural identity" relating to our sexuality. How ridiculous.

OP: it's a bit weird that you went through their recruitment/ selection process with your nose-ring in, and they didn't bother mentioning that it was a problem until after you'd started working there. Was the person who's now raised this issue involved in hiring you at all? Does the staff handbook mention a dress code?

slore · 08/12/2023 15:15

I voted YABU because saying a small piece of jewellery is part of your "identity" is just silly. Your job is more important, just wear a tiny stud.

However, your employer is equally silly to ask you to remove it. It's all just so trivial and unimportant.

ZiriForGood · 08/12/2023 15:25

Ask about it in email, so you have something in writing.

I would be surprised if such company policy would be actually legal, especially if the policy wasn't part of the pre-contract documentation.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 08/12/2023 15:34

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 07/12/2023 21:39

it’s very much a part of me and my identity
really? It is a piece of jewellery. Is this not a bit dramatic?

I don't feel dressed if I'm not wearing earrings - there's been a couple of occasions where I've forgotten to wear them and just popped into a shop to buy a pair. It feels that weird to be out and not wearing any.

Octowussy · 08/12/2023 15:35

Do you have your nose pierced for cultural reasons, OP?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 08/12/2023 15:55

ZiriForGood · 08/12/2023 15:25

Ask about it in email, so you have something in writing.

I would be surprised if such company policy would be actually legal, especially if the policy wasn't part of the pre-contract documentation.

Unless the OP could show that the nose ring was being worn for religious or possibly cultural reasons and that they were unfairly treated because of it, the issue of legality doesn’t really come in to it.
The employer could take one look at the email and tell the OP to leave. In reality you have relatively little protection in your first two years in a job and even less if there is a contractual probationary period.

Icannoteven · 08/12/2023 17:41

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 08/12/2023 15:01

I do not believe that lesbians/ bisexuals consider facial piercings an integral part of any "cultural identity" relating to our sexuality. How ridiculous.

OP: it's a bit weird that you went through their recruitment/ selection process with your nose-ring in, and they didn't bother mentioning that it was a problem until after you'd started working there. Was the person who's now raised this issue involved in hiring you at all? Does the staff handbook mention a dress code?

Some of us do though. I’m not saying a nostril piercing has a direct, exact meaning wrt sexuality but it can be used to send a subtle hint, especially if combined with other signs. How on earth do you think we all found out who would be amenable and who wouldn’t pre internet?

greencheetah · 08/12/2023 17:45

Did you wear it during interview?

Are you client facing?

It not something I would lose a job over but obviously that’s up to you.

Poppysmom22 · 08/12/2023 18:03

To be honest my employer doesn't allow this I work in food manufacturing so it's plain gold band only and most people forego that because by the time you've washed/dried/sanitised your hands a dozen times to access the factory you've probably lost it in a sink.