Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my nose ring in

124 replies

Jixg · 07/12/2023 21:31

I have a nose ring. I’ve had it since I was 16 and it’s very much a part of me and my identity. I started a new office job and they’ve asked me to not wear it to work. Aibu to be upset by this!?

OP posts:
Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 23:21

Hermittrismegistus · 07/12/2023 23:18

Would you respond to a burns victim in such a way?

You can't seriously be comparing a burns victim to a person that has willingly (and temporarily) disfigured their face with piercings? Confused

Please tell me what's disfiguring about a small nasal piercing?

You sound quite angry hinged to be honest!

Deathbyfluffy · 07/12/2023 23:25

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 22:49

Alternatively you should look the other way, wear blinkers or shut your delicate little eyes.

Would you respond to a burns victim in such a way?

You're being ridiculous!

Show quote history

They’re blatantly just on the wind up - no one is quite that daft!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/12/2023 23:35

I had two nose piercings and multiple ear ones.

I got a new job where the dress code didn't allow for that many in the ears and none on the face.

I like having a roof over my head and food to eat, so I took them out. I didn't have to like it, I was free to get a job somewhere else and they equally were free to decide that I didn't fit into the company and decide to terminate my employment if I kicked up a fuss about it and refused.

The world continued to turn.

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 23:36

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/12/2023 23:35

I had two nose piercings and multiple ear ones.

I got a new job where the dress code didn't allow for that many in the ears and none on the face.

I like having a roof over my head and food to eat, so I took them out. I didn't have to like it, I was free to get a job somewhere else and they equally were free to decide that I didn't fit into the company and decide to terminate my employment if I kicked up a fuss about it and refused.

The world continued to turn.

Did you know this before you took the job?

Borth · 07/12/2023 23:37

Another vote for a clear stud. Come places do have antiquated dress codes but it is what it is.

LadyBird1973 · 07/12/2023 23:43

If it's not prohibited in the dress code though, then you can do as you please. They can't just randomly make up rules - it has to be in their written policies.

Newsenmum · 08/12/2023 00:17

Where did you go op?
My friend who has a ring pushes it up so you can’t really see it. It depends how obvious it is I guess and if it distracts from a dress code. What kind of people do you work with?

Fallenangelofthenorth · 08/12/2023 00:50

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/12/2023 23:35

I had two nose piercings and multiple ear ones.

I got a new job where the dress code didn't allow for that many in the ears and none on the face.

I like having a roof over my head and food to eat, so I took them out. I didn't have to like it, I was free to get a job somewhere else and they equally were free to decide that I didn't fit into the company and decide to terminate my employment if I kicked up a fuss about it and refused.

The world continued to turn.

Fair point.

I took mine out years ago as my (ex) husband didn't like them.

I've been toying with the idea of getting my nose pierced again, as I really liked the look of the piercer who did my daughter's nose piercing, who was a similar age to me. And I used to love mine back in the 90s. Can't decide if I will look cool as fuck or like a tragic middle aged woman clinging onto her lost youth and hanging off her daughter's coat tails?

BalloonSalesperson · 08/12/2023 01:03

I don't even know anybody who would notice nor recoil in horror

I would certainly notice. I wouldn't recoil in horror, but I do have an involuntary reaction to nose piercings particularly. My eyes begin to water copiously, and if forced to be face to face in conversation, say, in an interview, talking to a customer etc, I will end up with tears streaming down my face. The more piercings there are, the greater the reaction. I can't help it. the piercees must wonder what on earth is wrong with me. Therefore I would be very happy for face and particularly nose piercings to be banned in customer facing roles.

TulipCat · 08/12/2023 01:23

It should have been raised at interview, assuming you were wearing it then. I used to interview candidates for roles where their appearance was a factor, and if anyone turned up with piercings or tattoos that didn't match that, I always raised that during the interview. If they weren't willing to remove /cover then they knew not to take the job. This was about 25 years ago, before anyone asks!

MarieKlepto · 08/12/2023 01:39

What antiquated industry do you work in? I have two friends with nose rings (both side not septum, for those who want to know). They both wear rings not stud chips. One is NHS, one is law (both client facing).

MissTrip82 · 08/12/2023 01:47

I assume the people making stupid comments about bogeys and bulls have simply
forgotten that many women wear nose rings for cultural reasons. It surely can’t be their intention to sound like ignorant bigots.

WandaWonder · 08/12/2023 01:52

This reply has been deleted

We are taking this down as it is not the spirit of the site.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/12/2023 07:48

Behindyouiam · 07/12/2023 23:36

Did you know this before you took the job?

Show quote history

No.

Behindyouiam · 08/12/2023 09:41

@NeverDropYourMooncup that would've really pissed me off.

Crazycrazylady · 08/12/2023 09:57

Rather old fashioned in this day and age I would have thought .
Having said that I'm always slightly shocked by the number of posters telling op that she should fight the policy/ go to hr/ refuse etc - she is in a new job , in her probationary period and presumably has bills to pay..
it's lovely to be a keyboard warrior when it's not your job at stake.

Elfandwellbeing · 08/12/2023 10:03

I assume you interviewed wearing it? I would very politely decline and I might read the HR policy on facial adornments. I cannot imagine why they can do about it.

Drlate · 08/12/2023 10:03

Seems a bit antiquated to me but if you’ve had it pierced that long, it won’t close up if you take it out during the work day.

Pickledprawn · 08/12/2023 10:06

Just put a really small subtle one in and no one will notice. It's not a big deal. I have a nose ring I do the same for work.

Rosequartzz · 08/12/2023 10:09

Absolutely ridiculous, maybe if its huge and gawdy and you're customer facing I understand if its deemed as too much. But full removal is ridiculous! I have a nose ring as its culturally normal to have this! I wouldn't let an employer tell me to remove it. There was a huge outcry over this when BA tried to have an employee remove their nose stud might want to bring that up given that was almost 20 years. I'd expect that you're employer will have moved on from these aged times

All the best to you

roarrfeckingroar · 08/12/2023 10:11

I had a nose ring until fairly recently and I think it's a bit dated for them to ask you to remove it, BUT to say a piece of metal is "part of your identity" is a bit pretentious

Pinkywoo · 08/12/2023 10:41

BalloonSalesperson · 08/12/2023 01:03

I don't even know anybody who would notice nor recoil in horror

I would certainly notice. I wouldn't recoil in horror, but I do have an involuntary reaction to nose piercings particularly. My eyes begin to water copiously, and if forced to be face to face in conversation, say, in an interview, talking to a customer etc, I will end up with tears streaming down my face. The more piercings there are, the greater the reaction. I can't help it. the piercees must wonder what on earth is wrong with me. Therefore I would be very happy for face and particularly nose piercings to be banned in customer facing roles.

😂
I think that may be the most ridiculous thing I've ever read in Mumsnet!

ichifanny · 08/12/2023 10:48

I’m a nurse and have mine in all the time and a few of my colleagues do too , I’ve only ever had nice comments . Those saying it looks like a bogey are making yourself sound like right beige boring bastards I feel sorry for you being so dull .

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 08/12/2023 11:29

Crazycrazylady · 08/12/2023 09:57

Rather old fashioned in this day and age I would have thought .
Having said that I'm always slightly shocked by the number of posters telling op that she should fight the policy/ go to hr/ refuse etc - she is in a new job , in her probationary period and presumably has bills to pay..
it's lovely to be a keyboard warrior when it's not your job at stake.

This.
If you are very new in a job you may be on one week’s notice (and in the first 2 years you have limited recourse if you are dismissed)
If this is a request from someone senior enough - it could cost you your job if you refuse and there may not be much you can do.

Sauvblanctime · 08/12/2023 11:45

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 07/12/2023 21:35

If your role is client facing, or dealing face to face with anyone, do you want them to think you have a bogey hanging out of your nostril?

I have my nose pierced and not once has anyone assumed I have a bogey hanging out

🙄