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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I accidentally stole an entire big shop

624 replies

Rayoffingsunshine · 07/12/2023 20:17

I spent about £95 on a big shop 3 weeks ago. I went through the scan and go. I had my two boys with me (2 and 3 months) and I paid using contactless. I didn't grab the receipt which I didn't notice until I got home and was annoyed because the supermarket had an offer for money off voucher if you spend so much that I had intended to grab but only realised I didn't have it when I got home.
I budget everything and wrote the shop on my budget app straight away so I noticed the discrepancy on my account within a few days. I thought it was just taking a little longer than normal to process but 3 weeks later there's still no record of it. I've checked every account I have including my husband's just in case I had his card though I'm certain it was just my day to day debit card. The only thing I can think is that the payment didn't process and I just didn't notice and walked straight out. But surely someone would have stopped me! I remember a friend telling me once, with a tiny shop, just a quick lunch on the go kind of shop, this happened to her once and she was stopped in the car park by security. I don't understand how this has happened. I wouldn't have been quick to leave because my 2 year old moves at a snails pace.

If I go and talk to customer service in the shop will they believe that is was a genuine mistake and just let me pay for it or will I get in trouble?

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 07/12/2023 20:43

You pay forward kindness, luck and good fortune. You go back and attempt to correct circumstances where you've unwittingly benefitted from somebody else's loss.

TokyoSushi · 07/12/2023 20:43

Go back in and try to pay, if you can't/they don't know what you're taking about (likely) then do a donation to the food bank with a clear conscience instead.

DontSetYourselfOnFireToKeepOthersWarm · 07/12/2023 20:43

For it to be theft doesn’t there need to be the intent to deprive? If so, then presumably there is no theft here as there was no intent.

ButterCupPie · 07/12/2023 20:44

AgnesX · 07/12/2023 20:33

Because basically she's honest and not a thief.

Show quote history

It's depressing, but not particularly surprising, that this needs explaining.

littlejo67 · 07/12/2023 20:44

I would put aside the money in case they contact you in the future. After a couple of months I would assume it's mine to keep..

YoongiMarryMe · 07/12/2023 20:44

I'd call and explain. They’ll probably just write it off. But I couldn’t shop there ever again if I didn’t try to pay.

Mouse82 · 07/12/2023 20:44

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 20:22

Why do you feel the need to pay it ?

It's called being an adult and taking responsibility for things.

themusingsofaninsomniac · 07/12/2023 20:45

I mean it's been 3 weeks so id probably have done something about it by now, I am not sure they'd be able to check anything this far on?

I'd also be nervous of my face being on a shoplifting board in the staff room though, so I'd probably go back as wouldn't want the bad karma... i do always check the payment has gone through though as i would be mortified to be stopped by security!

notanaturalmum · 07/12/2023 20:45

carddino · 07/12/2023 20:33

These shops are weird.

I had a home delivery Friday.

They brought yogurts. And left. I was bathing kids, four, who were unwell. DH never said a word. Took the shop in.

We are about 70 minutes from store.

I noticed at 8 we had no food, had the standard domestic about his ridiculous attention and called the local store.

Was transferred eventually to a lady in Japan. She said because two hours had gone by she would refund the 100 shop. I said that he was likely still in the area.

Not possible to contact him.

10pm. He comes back. With the shop.

I am mortified as I would have known. DH claims he is not psychic and I maybe only ordered yogurts.

Refund appeared. I called the, three times. Nobody has a clue what to do so they sent me a twenty pound gift card. Hmm

This would totally happen in my house.
" how was I supposed to know what you ordered. I'm not a mind reader...."

I sympathise PP

stepintochristmas1 · 07/12/2023 20:45

I really don't think the supermarket will have any record of it as like you say it never produced a receipt. Like others say make a donation to a favourite charity , it was a gods doing 😁.

bellac11 · 07/12/2023 20:45

Regr · 07/12/2023 20:31

I’ve had something similar happen years ago. I contacted Tesco online and explained what happened and asked what they’d like me to do.

and......?

onlysortoflikegardening · 07/12/2023 20:46

I would go back and explain and pay because I'd feel too guilty if I didn't. I once got a big box of vegetables delivered that I hadn't ordered and called to let them know. They thanked me for my honesty and told me to keep it. Free produce and a clear conscience.

There's also the cameras all over the check out area in my local stores that would make me paranoid I'd get in trouble, even if it was an accident.

Passthecoffee · 07/12/2023 20:46

My suggestion would be to email customer services, putt the circumstances in writing to them and ask them how they would like you to rectify the situation.

If you go back into the store you'll most likely be met with staff that don't know how to deal with it - they aren't just going to take a random payment from you. Even if you were to replicate the shop, the prices would be different.

tiggergoesbounce · 07/12/2023 20:47

Pay it forwards.
It was a genuine mistake, let it go.

MaidOfSteel · 07/12/2023 20:48

I must admit I find it hard to have any sympathy for the supermarkets in situations like this. These self service things are being put in so they can cut staff and make more profits. They can't not know that mistakes like this will happen occasionally, but must still think it's worth it..

I'd just forget about it now, OP.

Hedjwitch · 07/12/2023 20:48

Meh. I wouldnt go back to pay. If I had genuinely tried to pay and didnt realise it hadnt gone through I'd chalk it up to good luck. Life drops plenty of bad luck too so it all balances out. I'll probably be drummed out of MN for that opinion but I'd make a charitable donation to ease my conscience and move on.

Paddleboarder · 07/12/2023 20:49

I don’t think you should go back, it was ages ago and it’s unlikely they will be able to trace it. It’s a lot of money to you but not to a large supermarket chain - they lose loads of money every day to shoplifters and damages (and also make huge profits). You weren’t a shoplifter though, you made an honest mistake and probably wouldn’t have even noticed if you didn’t have the app thing or check your bank account. Supermarkets bring in smart scan and self scan etc because they want to lower their labour costs and the result of that is that this kind of mistake happens and will continue to happen. Nothing to feel guilty about.

allmyliesaretrue · 07/12/2023 20:50

I walked out of my local Tesco with 2 x 1 litre of Gordon's gin (it was on offer!!) and only realised I hadn't paid for it when I got to my car!!! It didn't have security tags on for some reason.

I went straight back in to pay for it and the youth on the till looked at me like I had two heads but took payment anyway.

I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't gone back though. I suspect you're the same OP or you wouldn't have posted.

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 20:50

ButterCupPie · 07/12/2023 20:44

It's depressing, but not particularly surprising, that this needs explaining.

Show quote history

Just because your morals are different to mine doesn’t make yours automatically right

user1471453601 · 07/12/2023 20:50

I read your title and wondered how you'd manage to steal a complete Big Shop. Like, how could you steal, for example, the whole of Harrods, the building and its contents???

Quite disappointed to find out you'd just got some shopping for free because of a (I assume) a computer mistake.

Disappointed 😉

Autumnleaves45 · 07/12/2023 20:51

I would call customer services to explain, and try to pay. I'm like you, it would play on my mind too much to just do nothing. I really don't think there will be much they can do and in that case I would do a nice shop for the food bank, with a clear conscience.

WelshFionaThePlasticSurgeryGorgon · 07/12/2023 20:52

Do you intend to go back to that store again as you may well be on their Rogue's Gallery now?

onemorerose · 07/12/2023 20:52

Phone customer service, if you’ve thought about it enough to post here it preying on your mind.

flowerchild2000 · 07/12/2023 20:53

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/12/2023 20:33

Some years ago there was a MNer that went back to pay for some stuff she hadn’t seen her small dc had put in the buggy and got banned from the shop.

I think I would call incognito first and check their policy and get reassurance they won’t do anything like that!

Show quote history

This is exactly what I was thinking, try to find out what to do without putting a target on you. I've heard some awful stories of stores making an example out of people too.

Thedm · 07/12/2023 20:53

stepintochristmas1 · 07/12/2023 20:45

I really don't think the supermarket will have any record of it as like you say it never produced a receipt. Like others say make a donation to a favourite charity , it was a gods doing 😁.

It didn’t provide a receipt because she didn’t pay, either it didn’t pick up the tap of her contactless or it asked her to insert her card for a pin check or whatever, but she didn’t finish the transaction so no receipt. But when she left, her shopping would still be in the screen as a sale, and the staff would have to void it to clear the till. The voided transaction does produce a receipt for their records so there will be a record of what was scanned, and that the transaction was voided.