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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she did this on purpose

80 replies

Daisydupe · 07/12/2023 19:07

Went to Christmas fayre. There was balloons to have your photos done. I said to my DD who is 4 ‘do you want to stand there and I’ll take your photo to show grandad’ (I’m a single parent). another mum looked at me and straight away said to her son ‘do you want your photo done to show dad’ really loud and emphasise on the dad. Aibu to think that was on purpose

OP posts:
greencheetah · 07/12/2023 19:26

Just because you’re paranoid OP, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you 😂

GoodLooking4MyAge · 07/12/2023 19:28

Maybe she felt jealous that her child doesn't have any grand parents.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 07/12/2023 19:31

YABU.

Onelifeonly · 07/12/2023 19:34

Probably not, and if so, who cares? Put it from your mind. You are projecting your own insecurities on to someone whose mind you can't read. Maybe think about why you felt affronted and what that means about your thought processes. You may not like being a single parent (I assume?) but that doesn't mean others are judging, and, to go back to my original point, who cares if they are?

LakeTiticaca · 07/12/2023 19:37

How would she know and why would she care if you are a single parent?
You are vastly overthinking this

RoyalMailAreShit · 07/12/2023 19:38

I really don’t think so.
She probably just copied your sentence starter of ‘shall we take your photo to show . . .’ to coax her child to have the photo taken. Like lots of parents do!

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 07/12/2023 19:39

As Shirley Manson would say, I think you're paranoid, and complicated...

IncompleteSenten · 07/12/2023 19:40

It's impossible to know what a stranger was thinking but I think it's more likely that you saying it just gave her the idea to get one or another one or add to what she was going to get.

or

maybe you said it loud and she thought you were performance parenting or judging her with your comment so felt she had to say something. That's as likely as her using suggesting something to her child as a way to deliver a secret judgement filled comment aimed at you, right?

QueenBean22 · 07/12/2023 19:40

No I think you’re being paranoid

BasiliskStare · 07/12/2023 19:43

I would have taken that as you asked DD to have a photo to show Grandad and other Mum thought - to say to show to Dad might be a nice way of putting it as others have said - It could have been Aunty Jean or Betty next door or , or or .
In this instance I do think there probably was absolutely no offence intended. Only you know the tone of voice but I think the balance of probability here no offence was meant , only taken.

I hope the photo turned out well and Grandad liked it

PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 07/12/2023 19:43

You are reading too much in to this. Like PP have said, you are being paranoid. are you stressed?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/12/2023 19:43

Maybe her kid's grandfather has just died, so she needed to distract him away from it?

EdgarsTale · 07/12/2023 19:44

Life must be tough for you if you interpret everything like this as a personal attack. Maybe try therapy?

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 19:44

Possibly

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 07/12/2023 19:45

Not a single parent. But I'll often say let's take your picture here for Grandma. Or Uncle Bob will love this let's take a picture for him. Because other family members exist other than parents. So I doubt she immediately knew you were a single parent and wanted to rub in that her child's dad was in the picture.

AuroraForever · 07/12/2023 19:46

YABU and reading far too much into the situation.

stepintochristmas1 · 07/12/2023 19:47

Honestly the nearer Christmas comes the weirder MN gets . No she's not bothered you were taking a photo for GD , maybe she was trying to strike up conversation .

housethatbuiltme · 07/12/2023 19:47

Daisydupe · 07/12/2023 19:09

Just thought she would know as I said grandad instead of dad and she said it straight away after with dad

She could easily assume dad is at the fayre too somewhere else. I don't think I have ever assumed another school parents relationship status, why would I.

Like my MIL sometimes takes the kids to things, she would likely say 'lets get a picture for Daddy' without a second thought but of course I still exist. We are even together but she just default refers to my husband as thats her son.

You are seriously and weirdly overthinking it.

Bournetilly · 07/12/2023 19:48

No I don’t think she did that on purpose. There is no way she would know you are a single mum unless she knew you. I’m not a single mum but quite often say to my DD let’s take a photo for nanny or aunty.

She might of overheard you saying let’s take a photo and thought it was a nice idea and she would take one too.

Prinnny · 07/12/2023 19:49

Definitely a you problem rather than a her problem.

UsingChangeofName · 07/12/2023 19:51

Yes, YABU

VintageDiamonds · 07/12/2023 19:52

Actually, I’m going against the general consensus here a bit! I think that if you felt that she said that purposefully then maybe she did. If she did, it’s very petty and sad and suggests that she’s either envious of you for some reason or is weirdly competitive. Pity her in either case.

Booboocars · 07/12/2023 19:53

Massively unreasonable- I say to my daughter let’s take a photo for gran all the time, it would be weird for people to assume I was single from that.

the woman couldn’t care less about you, I think it is more unreasonable that you think someone actually cares enough to make assumptions and annoy you for apparently no reason.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 07/12/2023 19:55

Oh don't be daft

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 19:58

This reminds me of when I gave money to a homeless person, as I went to keep walking a woman passing to my side cleared her throat like hi- hmm, and I knew she was expressing her disapproval for my benefit. It’s not the kind of thing you can explain to people. You just know things sometimes.

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