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AIBU?

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Original poster

My accuser keep on sending me crustaceans cards

68 replies

Bearwithbee · 06/12/2023 13:29

Please, bear with me, English is not my first language. But here is my story.
I do run my own successful business with clients coming, with waiting list, it's well established, often recommended, I am well known in my area, ect.

We live in a nice quiet area, I am friends with my immediate neighbours, I do know some of the other neighbours, but I not all of them and I am bad with remembering faces.

A couple of years ago my regulatory body made an announced visit to me when I have found that someone made a malicious and not true complaint about me. Nothing came out of that visit, as I did not break any rules and was able to prove that the allegations were false. But the whole situation was very unpleasant.

I have tried to find out who was the accuser, but I have been told that it was an anonymous call. I became weary and I did not feel safe, as I knew that there is somebody out there wishing me harm, but I did not know who and why. I felt so vulnerable.

I did share with my neighbours what has happened, but they were baffled too. A few month passed and as I was chatting outside to one of the neighbours, they told me that that the woman who used to live across the street, opposite my house, and now moved out, confessed to them that she did made up that complain about me and my business. I can't express how shocked I was! I saw her face to face maybe once or twice in my life, just outside, just a hello. I even can not remember her face! My house was quite a distance from her and I would not think I have crossed her way in any way.
I would not have a slightest idea why she would want to harm me either. Never mind, she was gone, as she moved house.

Another few month passed and then I received a Christmas card from her, with her full name and address in there, she did send these cards to all the neighbors. This was so weird. I did put it in the bin and have decided to ignore the whole situation further. I guess I just thought I never hear from that woman. Obviously she has not got a clue I have found about her doings and for some reason she is wanting to play a very caring/attentive ex neighbor.

Today I have received another Christmas card! Honestly, I saw red, this is just so crazy.
So I just wanted to ask, would you do anything in this situation, would you respond any how, and if you would, how would you respond? A very big part of me is so wanting to forget about all the politeness and send her a card with everything I think about her🤪

Please, talk to me. Please, tell me what would you do.
Yabu - just ignore it
Yanbu - respond somehow to stop her from ever bothering you

OP posts:
KitchenAngst · 06/12/2023 13:35

I think it's weird that you seem far more angry about her sending you Christmas cards than about the original malicious complaint.

Who knows why the Christmas cards? Maybe she feels if she's sending them to all her ex-neighbours in your area, it will look conspicuous if she leaves you out, and will make you suspicious that she was the complainant? It's not exactly a huge gesture.

IveOnlyEverHeardOutwithONHere · 06/12/2023 13:43

Sorry OP, I’m laughing at crustaceans cards.

you say she sends them to all the neighbours, so maybe she doesn’t know you know, and is just keeping up the pretense by sending to everybody. She’s moved out now though, so just forget about her and chuck the card back in the sea.

ChessieFL · 06/12/2023 13:45

Ignore it. You can’t be sure other neighbour is telling the truth about it being this woman who complained.

SwishSwishBisch · 06/12/2023 13:45

Slightly disappointed by the lack of crustaceans 😂

OP, you only have the word of this other neighbour that it was even her that complained. A Christmas card is a pretty inoffensive thing to receive, I’m struggling to see how it could be utilised in any sort of mind game by your ex neighbour to be honest.
if you believe your other neighbour that it was her, just keep putting them in the bin and ignore.

Londonrach1 · 06/12/2023 13:45

You seen over angry on this. It's a Christmas card. She sends it to all the neighbors. Let it go. It's in the past.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/12/2023 13:46

Deeply disappointed that they aren't actually Crustacean Cards.

Anyhow, ignore them. Especially as it could just as easily be the neighbour making up lies about her to look good/come across as a friend/etc.

ImSoHappyILiveInAWorldThatHasOctobers · 06/12/2023 13:47

Write her one back, tell her to have a "crabby Christmas" 😁

TellerTuesday · 06/12/2023 13:48

Just as much chance that the neighbour who told you was actually the one that reported it and the ex-neighbour was a good scapegoat as they were moving.

Just chuck it in the recycle bin.

SuperGreens · 06/12/2023 13:49

I assumed you were being send cards with crabs on them, and could only imagine what you had been accused of!
Neighbour sounds mad, just ignore, it'll clear up once everyone else realises it too.

Thelnebriati · 06/12/2023 13:49

I think your neighbour lied abut her reporting you.

Aydahayda · 06/12/2023 13:50

Excellent auto correct fail

Aquamarine1029 · 06/12/2023 13:55

Don't do something foolish that could cause problems. Completely ignore the card and her. You don't know for sure if this woman was the one who filed the false complaint.

I am very, very disappointed they aren't actually cards with crustaceans on them.

ActDottie · 06/12/2023 13:56

And I thought this post was going to be about someone sending you crabs in the post! Disappointed!!

Stephisaur · 06/12/2023 14:00

Also disappointed at the lack of crustaceans.

I would simply ignore the card this year. If you still have the envelope, then I would put the card back in, reseal it and mark it as return to sender. If you don't, then maybe this is something you could do next year.

I agree that it's very strange that she would make an untrue complaint against you and then send a card!

saoirse31 · 06/12/2023 14:01

I'd bin it and ignore tbh

Lengokengo · 06/12/2023 14:01

Another one who thinks the neighbour that told you could be using an easy target who moved away as a scapegoat.

i would make the receipt of this annual card ‘fun’ ie think of different ways to destroy it. Don’t bother to reply. Whether it was her or not, communication with wither away if you don’t respond. As for neighbour who told you, stay wary of them and don’t tell them anything that can be used against you. Be breezy until you are 100% sure it’s not them.

Dexterwontstopfarting · 06/12/2023 14:01

ImSoHappyILiveInAWorldThatHasOctobers · 06/12/2023 13:47

Write her one back, tell her to have a "crabby Christmas" 😁

This made me properly chuckle

Oddsocks55 · 06/12/2023 14:04

Not going to lie, i was waiting for the crustaceans bit. Very disappointed.

Turns out there are quite a few crab christmas cards available though.

lto2019 · 06/12/2023 14:04

If it was her - it seems pretty two faced so I can see why you would be annoyed but you don't have proof it was her - just someone else's word. As you don't know for sure - you're best to let it go and hope she doesn't start sending Easter or Valentine ones too!

Ohnoooooooo · 06/12/2023 14:05

It could have been the neighbors who told you it was this other neighbor - because she was moving it seemed a safe bet to blame her.

Mothew · 06/12/2023 14:07

Thelnebriati · 06/12/2023 13:49

I think your neighbour lied abut her reporting you.

^^ This, I'm sure. (Only here for the crustaceans 🦀🦞🦐)

shearwater2 · 06/12/2023 14:09

I thought a crustaceans card might have rancid prawns in the envelope. Perhaps be thankful that it is just a card.

Kim066 · 06/12/2023 14:09

Thelnebriati · 06/12/2023 13:49

I think your neighbour lied abut her reporting you.

I think this too. You only have the neighbour's word that it was this woman.

IncompleteSenten · 06/12/2023 14:13

You don't know the neighbour who told you was telling the truth. As a previous poster suggested, maybe it was them and they're telling you it was the neighbour who moved away, thinking you'd just let it go.

SausageAndEggSandwich · 06/12/2023 14:17

Just here for the crabs too 🦀🦞🦐

I also think it was the neighbour hoping to divert suspicion from them who blamed the lady opposite 🔍